Life After Menopause

Trust Betrayed: Can Infidelity be a One-Time Mistake or is ’Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater’ True? with Dr Dee Tozer

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What do you do when you find out your partner has cheated on you? Or they've been lying about something? How do you rebuild trust? Can you rebuild trust?

All good relationships are built on some kind of trust and when that's broken by one or both of the parties, it can be almost impossible to overcome. Almost impossible...
Dr Deirdre Tozer is a psychologist who specialises in supporting couples going through this kind of pretty much irretrievable breakdown crisis: infidelity (ongoing or one off), lying about money, lying about other things, gambling, constant arguments, all of it.

The difference between Dee and other relationship guidance counsellors is that she has a 90%+ success rate in rebuilding relationships and one of the reasons for that is that she doesn't just sit the couples down together and have them talk through things, she speaks to them individually.

Key points:
  • 00:48 - How Dee's counselling differs from 'normal' relationship counselling
  • 06:10 - Creating an Operating System for yourself and your relationship
  • 09:57 - The problem with most relationship counselling
  • 13:09 - Why there's no 'truth' and why we shouldn't change
  • 17:01 - Why people cheat
  • 21:55 - The seven different kinds of couples
  • 30:35 - The habit of reacting rather than responding
  • 33:00 - The problem with trying to sort out your relationship while you're sitting next to each other in the counsellor's office
  • 35:50 - Why "the glass on the sink" thing is more than just a comment about putting your dishes in the dishwasher
  • 40:55 - Is the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" true?
    •     Find out more here: https://www.mmmpodcast.me/ep196
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    Life After MenopauseBy Karen O‘Connor
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