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Ep28 Trust, You Say

Hello and Welcome to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast. My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be answering the question of ___.

Why is so hard to trust: others, god/source, yourself?

The last few weeks have been quite tumultuous for us. Lots of big decisions to say the least. What has been most interesting to me is seeing and learning what real trust looks like.

Here is how I used to see trust. If you try to live an ethical and moral life it puts you into that vibrational frequency. Other people are also in the same vibrational field. To me, this meant that they would be completely trustworthy. Then of course came the character arc and you find out that they did something that ended up breaking that band of trust you thought you had with them. Of course, not to lay blame only on others, I inadvertently also changed my mind about some things and that would be grounds for a breech of trust in their eyes.

Certainly a difficult process, this thing called trust. So, have I learned anything? I think so. Trust is more about yourself and your approach to the world. I generally approach the world and my day believing in myself, my place in the world, and process known as life. That is a basic requirement for me. If I wake up and as of the first second I don’t trust anyone or anything then I am not sure there is a point to engaging in the day.

Here is what I have experienced lately. I believe dreams and goals do work out. Sometimes what you had in mind is not necessarily the best use of your skills so you need to be nudged accordingly. This is the process of life. The things you thought should have worked out and that don’t simply means that you have to do something else. When you are in the right place doing the right things, everything becomes easy. All green lights, doors open easily for you. The right opportunities emerge and you have the wherewithal to take immediate and decisive action. Then the two way street takes on its own life and momentum. This is a beautiful thing.

Is it hard to get to this place of being in the “zone” of your life? Here is a nugget! It is only as difficult as you are resistant to it. Crazy right?

Let me offer an example: let’s say you are a plumber but you should really have a family style ice cream shop. When someone points it out to you, which inevitable will happen, you scoff at the suggestion and carry on doing the job you can’t stand. That is a simple example of resistance.

The emotion of pain and suffering resides underneath that resistance and the best way to integrate your new life is through trust. Trust what? Why is it so difficult to trust anyway?

I find that my outlook on life and actions I take are consistent with how much they align to my heart. Ever since I have adopted heart-mind coherence into my life, slowly but surely the ship called my life has recalibrated itself to the direction allowing me to be my most authentic self in my daily life. So, what I am saying is this. Each of us is special. We have a place in this life on this planet. This purpose is supposed to be how we live. For me, there has been a lot of trial and error. Nothing easy about the process of getting there. But once it became clearer that I was only blocking myself by over-thinking everything and subsequently moving my awareness into my heart…trust just became the basis of my experience.

Since part of the Way of The Emotional Warrior is to look at neuroscience, I wanted to see if the field had some answers about trust. According to Researcher Paul Zak, he found that trust, the simple process of at least 2 people being able to be vulnerable with each other, actually has a chemical foundation. His team isolate that chemical to be oxytocin. He set up experiments that proved that with more oxytocin, people were more like to trust a stranger. Also, they were less willing to take extreme gambling risks. He also found that oxytocin increases empathy.

I find...