This week on Amazon ™ podcasts.

I wonder when Amazon will own the world and bring us Amazon Meat ™. I don’t have anything else witty to say actually just figured that that would be a funny joke to make. Meat doesn’t even sound like a word any more but I’m sure if you think about something else for long enough it will be alright again. It’s Meat, written by Catherine Tregenna and aired on February 6, 2008.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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You heard it here first, English is dead.

Turns out Kiyan’s entire field of study is dead except for him. You might wonder if you’re stuck inside a strange YA novel, since that seems exactly the kind of thing that would be written into one of those plots. But let me assure you, this is a Shakespeare play, and it’s a tragedy. It’s To The Last Man, written by Helen Raynor and aired on January 30, 2008.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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It’s like five round rapid without the rapid.

I never did like rapids. People go on and on about how cute they are with their long ears and fluffy tails, but really they’re just rodents, right? Or maybe that was “rabbits.” Eh. Speaking of rodents, guess who “rode int”o town this week. It was the sleepers, their orders to take over finally having kicked in. It’s Sleeper, written by James Moran and aired on January 23, 2008.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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I’ll be over here committing tax fraud during the purge, don’t mind me.

Once upon a time I wanted to be a secret agent. But then I realized they probably wouldn’t like some sort of weird RSA expat who lives in the US. They might not trust that I’d be working in the best interest of the agency I work for. Interesting to ponder. It’s Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, written by Chris Chibnall and aired on January 16, 2008.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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Tune in soon as Kiyan gets yeeted into an active volcano live.

Volcanoes. They’re hard to nail down. On the one hand, they can wreak destruction on an unimaginably immense scale. On the other hand, they’re sources of life. On the other other hand (the Tenth Doctor’s hand obviously), they have nothing to do with this episode of Torchwood, so who cares? It’s End of Days, written by Chris Chibnall and aired on December 31, 2006.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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A whole new level of useless!

I’d like to be a captain. I think it’d be pretty cool to be Captain Dylan or Captain Kiyan. Imagine if we were both captains, and then it would be Captain Dylan and Captain Kiyan discuss Torchwood. Now wouldn’t that be absolutely wild? And then someone could steal our name and… It’s Captain Jack Harkness, written by Catherine Tregenna and aired on December 31, 2006.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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Gotta watch out for those Weevil fanatics

Trial by combat takes on a new form when instead of combating each other they combat Weevils. Julius Caesar would be proud of the changes we’ve made to the format. At least I would hope so, since it really is an improvement. Now we only need to put one life at risk at a time. It’s Combat, written by Noel Clarke and aired on December 24, 2006.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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I met a mathematician once, but he didn’t want to talk about memes.

Sometimes I forget to edit everything, and then I realize that I too am out of time. Just like everyone in this episode. Can you imagine if one day I was editing, and I paused to go to the store and just teleported a million years into the future? What if I found out our podcast had suddenly become a smash cult hit in that time, that’d be super weird. It’s Out of Time, written by Catherine Tregenna and aired on December 17, 2006.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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Zoom zoom look at my lawn mower.

There’s a notably small amount of discussion of Torchwood in this episode. I’m not really sure why. Maybe it’s because the episode was boring as hell. No really, it was really boring! And Eugene wasn’t really that sympathetic, he’s a stalker! Well anyway. It’s Random Shoes, written by Jacquetta May and aired on December 10, 2006.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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The more podcasts we do the more I think we should just do The Avengers.

So one day I was just walking along right, and then this girl just pops out of nowhere and stabs me! And then she uses this glove and brings me back and I’m like, what the heck. Well then I was gone again, but while I was gone she stabbed me. Again! And brought me back and so on and so forth anyway long story short I can’t die anymore. It’s They Keep Killing Suzie, written by Paul Tomlin and Dave McCulloch  and aired on December 3, 2006.

Torchwood © The BBC

Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

The Torchwood title music was originally composed by Murray Gold. The version used in this episode was arranged by Murray Gold.

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