Truth Talk with Wendi

[email protected]; Psalms 51:12, Isaiah 55:1, John 6:54, 2 Timothy 2:22, James 4:7 Brandon: It's one of those things where, you know, you're doing the wrong thing and you just feel like you can't help yourself and can't get out of that despair. That's the whole point. The start of the addictive cycle is despair. And despair can be lots of different things. Despair is not necessarily what you think, in the way of discouraged or depressed. Despair can be loneliness. Despair can be boredom. Despair can be guilt. There are so many different things that would fall under the category of despair, right? And then there's a trigger. Right? So, you get triggered from the despair. Then there's the fantasy. So, the trigger can be cleavage. The trigger can be a commercial. The trigger can be a magazine sitting on the rack as you go by, you know, and you're in this despair, you have this trigger. So then there's the fantasy and then there's the acting out. After the acting out, you despair. The guilt and white knuckling mindset of, I'm not going to do this anymore, and I'm going to white knuckle it until I get in that despair again, and then there's a trigger and, you know, so that was one of the things that helped me a lot with counseling, getting into counseling and understanding the addictive cycle. It was the Lord pursuing me. It was the Lord showing me these things. You have a bigger problem than looking at porn. Your bigger problem is you're not looking to me. So, just not looking at porn is not going to solve it. I mean there's Buddhists and Hindus and all these people that are so pure in their way of living and not contaminating their minds and being at peace or whatever. So, they're way more disciplined than most Christians and conquered their selfish desires and all these things, but they're not walking with Christ. They're not walking in the light. They're in the dark. So, the point is not to just not look at porn, right? The point is to be satisfied in Christ and so the Lord is like, okay, yeah, the triage, we're going to stop the bleeding and you know, your wife now knows and so she's going to help you and you're going to have some boundaries. I needed that time. I needed the understanding, the destruction of what this is doing, right. And obviously, I knew it was wrong, but all the things that we say to ourselves is that it's not hurting anybody. It's just between me and God and I know I'm sinning, but it's not hurting anybody else. Wendi: I'm extremely thankful that you have overcome the sex addiction and I'm thankful that you are willing to open up about it here and because I know there are so many people that watch us that have been, you know, affected by people who did not stop and get help. They made it to level three and four and and so you know, and there's so much damage and you know, and so thankfully that was something that you recognized and like you said, you know, the whole getting busted, was God's way of rescuing you from that pit that you were in. And so I know that that if there is anybody that is listening to this or struggling, and they need any kind of resources, you can definitely email us and we will get you in touch with Brandon who can get you some direction in that because I know in just watching you I've seen the change up close and personal and I know that you don't struggle like you did.

www.thrivingforwardblog.com; https://Facebook.com/groups/advocateswithattitude; "Predators" written by Anna Salter with trigger warning  https://www.amazon.com/Predators-Pedophiles-Rapists-Other-Offenders/dp/0465071732; www.recoveringgrace.org  Trigger Warning: Some listeners may find the content of this episode disturbing because of trauma or bad experiences in their lives. Some stories may trigger emotionally disturbing memories.  Andrew J. Bauman — porn recovery resources and support

Anne Blythe — betrayal trauma support

Sarah McDugal — support for momma’s surviving post-abuse

Sheila Gregiore — Biblical sex teaching

Gretchen Baskerville— Biblical divorce support

Emily:   It was pretty tumultuous. My parents’ marriage was never good. Not even from the beginning. And I would say as I approached about the age of eight, is when I started to spot my dad's narcissism and I started to realize even when he was playing with me, he was really more self-absorbed with himself and everything was really about him and I started to say things to my mom, like, “I really don’t think Dad loves me.” As an eight-year-old I could pick up on that stuff. And then life really started to fall apart when I was about 10.  My father had addictions going on, and I found pornography on his computer. One time, my mom and I watched him pick up prostitutes. While I was in my mom's car, we could see the road ahead, my father's vehicle and we would watch prostitutes get in his car.  He was engaged in quite a bit of behavior and the stress really started to affect me and then at about age 11 or 12, his sex addiction turned toward me and the abuse started. I was molested when I was 12. It didn't go beyond molestation, but I was definitely targeted and groomed for at least 10 years. All throughout my teenage years and into my early 20s, I always felt preyed upon, and I always knew that it was wrong even before I knew what sex was, and I know you've talked about this.  When you didn't even know what sex was and yet you knew something was wrong, and I was feeling used and violated. And like I said, preyed upon, and I knew it was wrong. Even though I didn't know all the words and the definitions of exactly what was going on, and I really didn't understand it. I was in my mid-20s and in counseling at that point, but yeah, that abuse started pretty early on. As a result, my little 10-year-old body didn't know what to do with all of this. I developed a severe, life-threatening autoimmune disease called Crohn's disease. And so, in the middle of all this abuse as a teenager, I was also living in and out of hospitals just barely staying alive. I think my lowest weight was 73 pounds when I was 16. You know, so I really looked like a holocaust victim. You could see every single bone in my body. I was just absolutely deathly ill. There was a brief separation that was mutually agreed upon for my sake, because the tension in the home was so severe, me and my mom knew that it was making me sicker. And so, there was an unusually made decision with a counselor that my father would temporarily be out of the home, which lasted less than a year and it would just be so they could continue counseling, and so I would be a little bit removed from that situation. But he finally just got to the point, had a couple of counselors fire him because they knew he wasn't willing to do any of the work. And others just flat out wouldn't take him because they would do one interview with him and they would tell my mom he's not going to take them on as a client because he's not willing. He's not willing to do anything. So, I guess after one year he finally just got fed up and came home one night and said, I have found an apartment and I'm leaving tomorrow. And that was it. He took a shower and went to bed, got up the next morning and he was gone, was not a fight. 

https://library.samford.edu/special/treasures/2005/mite.htmlJohn 4; Mark 12:42; Matthew 26:7; John 19 Welcome to another episode of Truth Talk with Wendi. I am so excited to come to you today and tell you about a life changing experience that I just had.  I'm sure you guys have noticed that I have not put an episode out in a while and I have been gone. I had the privilege of literally traveling across the world to the place where Jesus was born, raised, died and rose again and I literally walked in his steps. Yes, I went to Israel and I cannot find the words to explain to you the impact that this trip has had on me. Clearly, if any of you have watched for any length of time, you know that my mission in life has been to be an advocate for children and of childhood sexual abuse survivors and you know, to keep that from happening to other children.  I love what I do. I love that I've been able to implement stuff here at my own home and then also helped many  other families, youth groups and women's groups with the information that God has shown me in years and years of research. That research gets very dark as I'm assuming that you guys would know. But I have never complained about doing it or actually there's times that in doing my own research, it actually validates a lot of the feelings that I've had and the struggles that I've had because I know I'm not alone. I am excited that God opened this opportunity for me to go because it has absorbed my thinking in it. I cannot watch enough firsthand documentaries from people who tour over there and who have gone and just videoed what they're seeing and taught. I mean I'm obsessed with learning.  It's different to be there. It's so different to read the Bible. For instance,  let me tell you about Jacob's well  where Jesus talked to the woman of Samaria.   He told her about herself and she was so overwhelmed that he was a Jew talking to her and  he knew everything about her and he didn't condemn her. She went back to this town, Samaria, and told everybody she knew and they all wanted to come see him. So by the word of her testimony, and then after they heard from her by the blood of the Lamb, they all believed because this woman was overwhelmed. Well, he met her at Jacobs Well, Jacob like you know, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob like that Jacob. So this well is so old, like 1000s of years old, and we went to the well, stood by the well, and used the little bucket down in the water, which is like 120 or 40 feet down and the water came up, and we drank the water. From Jacobs Well, the same water that this woman came to draw that Jesus asked her for, I mean  I cannot wrap my brain around that and it is so convicting when you're standing there. What would Jesus have said to me, like the woman of Samaria? We want to go because he said to her, you know, go get your husband and she's like, Oh, I don't have a husband. He's says, you don't have a husband because you've 'had five husbands and the man you're living with now, he's not even your husband.   She'd been married and divorced five times. That's probably nothing compared to some of the things that we've done, but wouldn't like it broadcasted in a book where 2000 years later people are reading about it? Right? So it's just so humbling to stand there and think this is that place.

[email protected]; www.endabuse.com; Southspring.org; www.chrismlegg.com; www.alethiacounseling.com; https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0670785938/;  https://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+wounded+heart+dan+allender&gclid;  https://www.christianbook.com/wounded-adult-victims-childhood-sexual-abuse/dan-allender/9781600063077/; https://www.denisonforum.org/biblical-living/struggling-with-mental-illness-consider-these-7-ideas/; https://julieroys.com/john-macarthur-church-supported-convicted-abuser-pedophile/; https://julieroys.com/john-macarthur-covered-up-pastor-sexual-abuse-witnesses-say/;@BethMooreLPM; @reachjulieroys

Hey guys! Welcome to another episode of Truth Talk with Wendi. I cannot tell you how excited I am today to have our special guest. This is Chris Legg. He is not only my very good friend, he is my counselor, my sanity, the one who Jim sends me to when he's heard enough.  "Have you talked to Chris about this yet?" No, I'll put that on the list. It's been an interesting journey. But you have many many hats. These are the hats you play to me although you have played more hats than that. But I think it's very interesting because he is also the pastor at South Spring Baptist Church. which is a great church here and it used to be First Baptist South, which is when I first met you, and you and I talked,  when I got into ministry through No Hungry Children, and very supportive, very onboard.  You have had the same heart and I think God used that to bring us together.  But what was amazing for me was just in getting to know you. And the fact that you were a Baptist preacher, this is really not a Baptist preacher. Multiple times I said, you need to stop telling people that because even though it's the same denomination, you are a very, very different Baptist, and God has really used you to heal a big wound for me. I have been seeing you for many, many years as a counselor and you've been instrumental in the ministry that I've done. Chris Legg:  I think it's fascinating, by the way, I was thinking on the way here, I’d love to hear Ben Shapiro Co-host his therapist on his podcast, like, I want to get his counselor on their podcast.  Wendi: We're talking about triggers.  And there may be some triggers that they might hear in our conversation today.  And that's kind of what triggered this episode is what was recently in the news. There's been a lot of information that has come out in regards to John MacArthur and his alleged cover up of sexual abuse within his church. So the first the first story or article that I read, it was not triggering to me and I don't know why it did not trigger me the same, but the second one,  that's why I came and talk to you about it because I thought my head was gonna pop off and I felt so horrible that I reacted that way and was so down on myself because I thought I needed to be further along than this.

After church was over, we were talking to some people we knew, and my son struck up a conversation with someone, and the Lord really kind of laid on both of our hearts before we left to invite this person to go to lunch. So, that's what we did. This person is very interesting. I hesitate to even share this because I don't know how to talk about this without coming across as being offensive in some way. It will be because of ignorance. This is not a subject matter that I am familiar with, never had a reason to be familiar with it. There are so many preconceived notions of how this works, and especially how it relates to God. And today it just made me stop and think about it.   Will it change my mind? I don’t know, it's too early to say, but I want to share it because I cannot be the only person who is a Christian and who's trying to please the Lord and hear the Holy Spirit, who must feel this way. So that's why I wanted to share this.   This person is a man and he has a man's name.   He introduced himself as a man, but in the conversation, it was obvious by looking at him that he looked different than me, different than my son and my husband, different than a lot of people but you know, we're all different in our own odd, unique special ways. And so I usually don't let that deter me a lot.  I try to always get to the heart of somebody, not wanting the outside of them to force me to make a judgment, although that's easy to do just from society and who we are around normally. But you know, I wasn't going to do that.   I wanted to find out about him and his life and how it affects where he is today. He was 60 years old. So, I say all that to say that this conversation was very much about God, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus. He loves the Lord and from little, he was raised as a Christian.  If I was talking to him on the phone, it would never have, and in the conversation that would have never come up. I would have thought nothing, but I made a new friend today. But obviously, a difference between him and most men and he was well aware of it and wasn't shy about it.  He has been neglected, shunned, abandoned, and rejected by his own family members, and clearly a lot of society because of it. But yet, I'm having a conversation with him about God. I'm not having to convince him that there is a God, that Jesus loves him, that the Holy Spirit can live inside of him. I excused myself, I went to the bathroom and I was just praying  God can you show me what I'm supposed to do here? I don't know how to be in this debate. I don't know what to say here. I have no concept of what he's going through.  So, I think this debate and this subject matter are so front and center in our society right now. And I feel that we as Christians need to be very much more informed about what is really going on in their head. people who've been through trauma, people who have been rejected and abandoned as a child, there are many different results and roads that someone goes down to cope with or try to figure out and identify with the trauma that comes from that. I would really like some feedback from any Christian, a self-proclaimed Christian who believes, who has any kind of experience with this?

Imagine Heaven Link: https://imagineheaven.net/ John Burke Books: "No Perfect People Allowed", "Unshockable Love", Soul Revolution" JohnBurkeonline.com We're going to talk about “Imagine Heaven”, a book John Burke wrote about Near Death Experiences as he has talked to close to 1000 people and has 120 stories included in this book. People who have been to heaven and actually met God and they came back to earth and are telling about their experiences. Wendi asked, "How in the world did you first get interested in this topic?" Well, I was an agnostic and really didn’t know what I believed about God. I thought Jesus was probably just a good person and I had kind of rebelled against the church. But my dad was dying of cancer, and someone gave him the very first book on people who researched these near-death experiences where people clinically died. Their heart stops beating in the ER. They have a heart attack and no brainwaves. These were all documented by clinical medicine. They were resuscitated and they came back talking about how they were even more alive than they had ever been, in a place that was more real than this place. Many different commonalities that they shared. I read that book I saw on my dad's dresser. This is evidence that this stuff is real. I was curious. I became an engineer and so I am very analytical. I kept researching as well and during that time I was invited to a small Bible Study and because of that, I was open and so I came to understand the grace of God and I came to Christ. Years later I left engineering and actually went into ministry, a lot because of the picture I got from seeing what the Bible said and what these people were saying and it's not that these people were adding anything to scripture, but coloring in what was already there. It literally took me 35 years of research. When people leave their bodies, and they're looking down, they're watching the resuscitation. They've been able to tell what was going on and corroborate things that they couldn't have otherwise known. The Gallup poll found that millions of people have had these experiences. So this is not uncommon. And the commonalities or, and again, not everyone is exactly the same, right. But if I were to kind of summarize, a person leaves their body, you know, they have a heart attack or some other traumatic thing and as they leave their body... what they're very aware of is they feel more alive than they've ever felt before. They still are themselves. In fact, they're more themselves than they've ever been. They say it's a spiritual body. And so that's what these people say, is that you're more yourself. We have five senses, right? They say no, it's more like 50 senses. It's like, super alive like Superman or Superwoman. Scripture References: John 20:19-20, Acts 14, 2Corinthians 12:2, 1Corinthians 15, Revelation 21, Ecclesiastes 3:11, Daniel 12, Matthew 13, John 8:12, Mark 9:2-4, Romans 8:17, 2 Peter 3:8, Romans 8:1, Deuteronomy 6:5, Mark 12:33, Matthew 25, 1 Samuel 16:7, Hebrews 11:6, Ephesians 6:11, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Isaiah 63:9, Matthew 10:16, 1 Corinthians 13, John 15:7, Ephesians 1, Galatians 5, John 15, Matthew 28:20, John 16:13, Romans 8:1

Trigger Warning: Some listeners may find the content of this episode disturbing because of trauma or bad experiences in their lives. Some stories may trigger emotionally disturbing memories. www.Uncaged.org. 

Wendi interviews Kim Westfall who has answered the call of God to help women and girls who have been sex trafficked.  In 2018, After being haunted by a vision of children in cages, Kim launched Uncaged (uncaged.org), an anti-human trafficking nonprofit that exists to unlock the transformation of girls and young women rescued from the global sex trade. Uncaged is currently launching its first Sanctuary village in Romania, where survivors will live in peace and safety with access to trauma-informed therapies, spiritual care, medical attention, education, and vocational training. 

Wendi also interviews the Dadich Family who experienced the possible attack on their daughter, Samira, at the local mall.  It is unknown what their intentions were, but quite possibly to traffick her!  Thankfully she had a friend with her who sought medical attention for Samira.

https://www.amazon.com/Imagine-Heaven-JohnBurke/dp/1540901823 https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLySIpE6fwXSKzIZwEvfMS-9LGvAfabZgS https://christianaudio.com/homeScripture:  Galatians 2:16 Galatians 12:18 James 2:26 Matthew 20:19 6:33and 6:3 Mark 15 Romans 10:13 When we are taking our last breath on this earth, we are going to wake up in one of two places. There's heaven and then there's hell and hell is not a place you want to be. And when and if and I pray that it is when you start doing your own research on these near-death experiences, you will hear from people who have actually been there and back and not one or two people, many people, so this is not a joke. In fact, one of the things that I found overwhelming as there are so many things that I grew up with, on a checklist what you have to do to stay in God's good graces and they were ridiculous things:  I couldn't wear pants; I couldn't go to the movies; I couldn't swim with boys; I couldn't wear a shirt with writing on it, and  I could go on. Then there are people who have never heard the name of God or they've heard him and they were told that he's not real or that he was not somebody to believe. So these experiences that I've been researching and reading about, there were people that were literally surprised that they were in heaven. Okay, now that is very difficult for me to wrap my brain around because as a woman who has done everything that I know to do, and worn myself out trying to perform, I still struggle with, is it enough? No, it's not to earn my way to heaven. I am fully aware of what the Bible says that my salvation is a gift by faith, not by works. I totally get that. But there were so many things said to me as a child, that somewhere still in my subconscious, it's something I struggle with.  Am I really, really hearing from the Lord or is this just something I'm telling myself?  But what I'm telling you is, that's the complete opposite of everything that is in these research testimonies. The one thing that comes back over and over by people who have tried to be a Christian all their life, claimed to be a Christian all their life, or people that rejected Christianity because it was not in their culture, and they didn't know any different,  they said they just did what their parents told them and didn't believe in Jesus. But some of these same people showed up in heaven during these near-death experiences. And so, for me, it's like I don't understand how can they get to go to heaven and I'm working my rear end off literally here and you know,  none of this makes sense. So, what are the messages that every one of them is bringing back:  Two things they talk about consistently across the map: one is the light that they are experiencing and it's not just a bright light at the end of the tunnel, it is like God is the light.  He permeates everything there because he is so bright, yet you can look at him the way they explain it. He’s so much brighter than the sun, but you can look at him. It was just hard for them to even explain in words that we have here as humans because we don't have the words to explain something like that in heaven. So that's the first thing they talked about was light and the second thing and the most important thing is the love,  the unconditional love that they have never felt in their life. One man explained it as if I took every single amazing, loving relationship that I've had on the earth; He and his wife, every one, his kids, his parents, all of them and I put them all together in a big ball, it would be nothing compared to what I felt like and he was gone for nine minutes or something like that.   It literally changes these people's lives when they come back from it.

Romans 8:1, 1 Peter 3:3,4, Galatians 1:15,16, 1 Timothy 1:15, Ephesians 4:24, Philippians 4:8, Romans 12:19, Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, Deuteronomy 31:8  www.endabuse.com https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Fathers-Heart-Womans-Unconditional-ebook/dp/B07DB9WNPP

https://www.amazon.com/God-Made-All-Me-Children/dp/1942572301    TRIGGER WARNING: Some Listeners may find the content of this episode disturbing because of trauma or bad experiences in their lives.  Some stories may trigger some emotionally disturbing memories.

Well, it finally ended because my parents sat us down on December 30, 1983. It was a couple of months before I turned 14. We were told that we were moving to Texas to start another church. So that's what we thought initially. It wasn't very long after that, on our way out to Texas, that the truth came out.  Being the oldest, I'm the one who kind of figured it out of course. Because of the abuse that I had been going through for the last several years, I had matured way faster than I probably should have. I was more attuned to even looking for things because I was now starting to question things on my own. And so my dad and my mom, who had been married my whole life. There was also another couple in our church that had been married for however long and they had been in our church a couple of years. She was an elementary teacher in our school. He was my volleyball and softball coach and eighth-grade teacher.  They were married and they divorced at the same time, my parents divorced. And I was very close to these people and I would stay with them when my parents would travel. I was devastated. You know, we were moving and I wanted to live with them and stay with my friends. And of course, that was not an option. But what I found out quickly on the way to Texas was that they had all been swapping partners. And so my dad and mom got divorced, and he married the woman and my mom married her husband.  So, my stepmom and my stepdad had been married to each other. And so it was like, okay, hold on. Wait, what? Okay, I can't wear shirts with writing on them or swim with boys, but I've got stuff going on in my house that nobody knows about, and I'm keeping the secret that no one knows about and now you're getting divorced! That’s the Big " Word and was just, overwhelming. And, of course, I never was allowed to question anything. But you know, it was always, “because I said so”, was the answer to any question that was uncomfortable. And so it was very, very difficult for me because I could tell that these were not going to be easy conversations. So basically I just said to my dad, I really don't think that mom is going to be happy with how nice you're being to her, referring to this other woman. And that's when he said to me, Well, your mom is not going to care because she ran off with Mr. so and so. And I immediately knew that she must have found out about what was happening with my dad because that's what he told me would happen if she found out so now my biggest fear has come to light. He allowed me to believe that. He really allowed me to feel like this was my fault. So my mom left him and he's now the victim too. This woman who he's now bringing in, is coming in to save the day because now we don't have a mom. And so she's coming in to save the day and at 14, I didn't need anybody to save the day, I just needed some stability, and I just wanted to be with my dad.

Matthew 25:45 Romans 5:8 2 Corinthians 12:9, Proverbs 23:7 John 2:14-16 I do have a subject matter that is actually kind of shocking for me, which is saying a lot. I don't know how I have been involved in helping kids with sexual abuse and girls who've been sex trafficked for as long as I have and literally had never heard of this until the past several months. So I want to bring this information to you. When I asked my husband what it was, he referred to the obvious thing you think it is, which is the term map and I am not referring to what comes up on your GPS when you are trying to find a restaurant in a town you've never been or in my case, in a town you've lived in for almost 20 years and you still pull up your GPS to get everywhere. But now the term map stands for a minor-attracted person. Incognito for a pedophile, which clearly most people have heard. The argument is that pedophilia has a certain stigma to it, which in all honesty, it should have a stigma. It's like the word murderer, murderer should have a stigma, because it is not a good thing to be a murderer as it is not a good thing to be a pedophile. But instead of being able to call a pedophile, a pedophile or child molester, they now prefer for us to refer to them as minor-attracted persons or MAPS. So I just have so much to say on this, but quite honestly, I am still in the middle of quite a bit of research. Unfortunately, it's been around much longer than I have even had time to go back and research and I felt the urgency of letting people know because if I don't know, and this is an area of which I dig and dig and dig into research to be able to combat things that I went through during my childhood and fulfill the call on my life that I feel the Lord has me here for and I was unaware of it, it really made me feel as though most people probably have not heard of it. If they have, they're not very educated in it as well either. And let me just say, just right out of the gate here, I have a firm belief that sin that we commit ie., lying all the way to murder, including pedophilia, and whatever our sin is that disqualifies us from heaven. All sin is covered under the blood of Jesus. If we are going to condemn other people or think that those people are not forgivable, or their sin is so much worse than ours; that Jesus's blood is not strong enough to cover them; whatever our rationale is, then we should be more concerned about our heart than what they're doing. There is a YouTube show, I believe. It's probably on other stations too, but I know you can find it on YouTube called, "Gacha Life". Gacha Life actually has episodes about MAPS. Well, if I didn't know what that was, and I was simply scrolling through, you know kid shows, it's all animated. It looks harmless. When you're just looking at it. It looks like just a bunch of animated characters. So you would think it would be kid-friendly. And if you don't know what MAP is, then you might not think it's that big of a deal. So the reason I want people to understand and to know what this is and just be aware of the term so that if you see it, you know if it comes up in a conversation with your kids, that you know what it is that they may be referring to. Again, Jesus never condemned the person, he condemned their sin. He never tolerated their sin. What he did was he loved them.