Episode 421: Suck My Tongue

Welcome to The Michael Decon Program, where we bring you all the news that's fit to be laughed at. Tonight, we've got a doozy for you: the United States is wiring Ukraine with radiation sensors to detect dirty bombs and nuclear weapons. Because what could be more reassuring than knowing our government is spending billions on sensors, let's not forget about those earthquakes in Southern California that are shaking things up. Who needs stability, right? In the next 2 hours, we'll be exploring these absurd stories and wondering what in the world is going on. So buckle up, folks, because you're in for a wild ride on The Michael Decon Program.