The Big Four Oh: The Podcast About Turning 40

Turning 40 and Stop Making the Same Mistake


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Birgitta Visser kept making the same mistake over and over again in her romantic relationships. She had an acute case of what she called “doormat syndrome,” which meant she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but that meant she would compromise well beyond what was reasonable in her relationships. That left her “walking in her own shadow,” neglecting her own feelings and needs until she was the one who got hurt. The roots of this behavior lay in childhood experiences of abuse and loss and a lifelong lack of confidence in herself. It wasn’t until hitting rock bottom for the second time at 42 that she started to figure out how to love herself.

Guest Bio

Birgitta Visser is Soul Empowerment Coach, Divine Channel and Light Language Healer, Speaker and Author of the book BE-com-ing Authentically Me, delivering messages from the many Light BEings, and Master Teachers to the aid of humanity. Her life path has been anything but conventional, but Birgitta's story serves as a beacon of hope and inspiration to others.

She says, "There is nothing that cannot be overcome, for what we think, we create and thus manifest within our own lives. To heal ourselves, we must first learn to love ourselves. If we cannot love ourselves, how can we ever heal ourselves, embracing the wholesome, loving nature that represents our truest self? At any given moment, we have the power to change, to heal and to overcome.”

She hopes that people will awaken to what life is all about, and is simply here to offer her words as food for thought in unlocking their own potential to BE-com-ing authentically themselves.

Turning 40 and Stop Making the Same Mistake

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, host Stephanie McLaughlin interviews Birgitta Visser, a woman who has experienced a lifetime of trauma and transformation. Birgitta shares her story of abuse, loss, addiction, and healing, and how she has learned to cultivate joy and find happiness in her own life. From her early experiences in the modeling industry to her tumultuous romantic relationships, Birgitta faced many challenges but has come out stronger and more resilient. Through holistic healing modalities, Birgitta found a path to self-discovery and self-love. Despite the hardships she weathered, Birgitta remains optimistic and grateful for her experiences, recognizing that they have shaped her into the person she is today. 

Highlights from the episode include: 

  • Birgitta's experiences in the modeling industry and her struggles with confidence.
  • How the loss of her stepfather sent her spiraling into a period of drug use and bad decisions. 
  • Two separate rock bottom experiences, at 35 and 42, both the result of toxic romantic relationships. 
  • How she received a death threat from the Dutch version of The Crips gang.
  • Her journey of holistic healing and self-discovery, and her newfound sense of happiness and fulfillment. 

Birgitta's story serves as an inspiration for anyone who has faced trauma or hardship and is seeking a path to healing and personal growth. It’s a testament to the power of resilience and self-love in overcoming life's challenges. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating the podcast and sharing this episode with a friend! 

After listening to the episode, you might be wondering how can I learn to love myself?

Learning to love yourself can be daunting, especially if you have strong negative self-talk running in your head all the time. If you're constantly putting yourself down, it's hard to find yourself lovable. In one of my reflections episodes, I described an exercise for combatting negative self-talk.

Once you get a handle on that negative energy clouding your perception of yourself, you can begin the process of learning to love yourself. Justin Schenck described how he worked to achieve all the external markers of success, thinking that would make him love himself. But combatting limiting beliefs and focusing on his inner thoughts were the things that ultimately helped him learn how to love himself. 

Guest Resources

Birgitta’s YouTube channel 

Find Birgitta on Facebook 

Find Birgitta on Instagram 

BE-com-ing Authentically Me: Lighting the Spark of Inspiration Back into the Heart of your Luminous Soul BEing

Learn more: https://www.powersoulhealing.com/ 

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

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The Big Four Oh: The Podcast About Turning 40By Stephanie McLaughlin

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