The Big Four Oh: The Podcast About Turning 40

Turning 40 and Surviving an Abusive Marriage


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Dana Diaz was born to a teenage mother who didn’t want her and grew up with a stepfather who was verbally and physically abusive. She left home as soon as she was legally able to and swore that nobody would ever treat her like that again. When she was 19, Dana met a man she didn’t like very much but she was lonely and starved for attention - and he was from a Leave it to Beaver kind of family. She fell in love with his family and assumed that his behaviors were due to being young and immature. Within a month of their first date Dana had moved in; five years later they got married and two and a half years later they had a son. Dana was 27 and that’s when things really started getting bad.

Guest Bio 

Dana S. Diaz is a wife, mother, and author of the best-selling book GASPING FOR AIR: THE STRANGLEHOLD OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE. Dana has had life-long experience with narcissistic abuse, beginning in childhood. Her education in journalism and psychology at DePaul University in Chicago gave her the ability to accurately verbalize and express how narcissistic abuse creates confusion and conflict within victims, so that she can help other victims know they are not alone and better understand their own circumstances.

Today, Dana is a proud voice for fellow victims who are unable, afraid, or ashamed to share their experiences. She strives to create awareness and understanding to ensure victims are given the support they need to first understand their situation and then begin the healing process. Her first book, chronicling her own abusive marriage that lasted nearly three decades, started as a journal that she hid under the couch cushion in the basement.

Dana lives with her husband in Illinois and is in the process of publishing the prequel and sequel to GASPING FOR AIR.

Turning 40 and Surviving an Abusive Marriage

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie interviews Dana Diaz, the survivor of an abusive relationship. Dana shares her harrowing story of living with an abusive husband for 25 years and the toll it took on her physical and mental health. She discusses the financial, emotional, and physical abuse she endured and the isolation she experienced. Despite the challenges, Dana found the strength to leave her abusive marriage and rebuild her life. She talks about the importance of self-care and surrounding herself with positive influences. Dana also reflects on the impact the abuse had on her son and her hopes for his future. This powerful episode highlights the importance of recognizing and escaping abusive relationships and finding healing and happiness in midlife.

Highlights from the episode:

  • Dana's experience of financial, emotional, and physical abuse in her 25-year marriage.
  • The impact of her husband's controlling behavior and isolation on her mental health.
  • The role of self-care in Dana's healing process and finding her own happiness.
  • The concern for her son and the hope that he will break the cycle of abuse.
  • The importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences and supportive relationships.

In this powerful episode, Dana shares her journey from surviving abuse to finding healing and happiness. Her story serves as a reminder of the strength and resilience of survivors and the importance of breaking the cycle of abuse. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks Podcast.

Why are abusive relationships hard to leave?

Nobody sets out to enter an abusive relationship but once we realize how bad things have become it’s hard to find a way out. This is because abusive relationships are about power and control - the abuser wants all of it. Behaviors that may seem chivalrous or caring become controlling. Behaviors that start out seeming immature calcify and bloom into violence. By the time we realize how far things have gone, we feel shame about letting them get that far, as if it was our choice. Toby Myles was a grown woman, divorced with two kids when she started dating someone she thought was the polar opposite of her first husband. Rachel Isabela moved to South America with her husband and ended up isolated and dependent on him before things got bad. The bottom line is that it’s not your fault and there’s help available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7/365. Call them at 800-799-SAFE; chat online at The Hotline.org; or text START to 88788.

Guest Resources

Dana’s Book: Gasping for Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse

Find Dana on Facebook

Find Dana on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

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The Big Four Oh: The Podcast About Turning 40By Stephanie McLaughlin

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