Stop trying to control what is not your business to control, someone else, and fix what is not in your power to fix. What you're trying to control is much better off without your "help." What you're trying to fix in a partner can't be fixed by you anyway. The only that will happen is your relationship will get worse and worse. 

We cannot be our fearful patterns, our dysfunctional habits, our mind viruses, and expect to be in a loving and healthy relationship. It will not work. 

The price you pay for not taking responsibility for your own pain is the failure to realize that you can change the conditions of your relationship by changing your thoughts and actions.