Turtle War

The 2024 Presidential Election is long past. This episode of the Turtle War Podcast can't possibly be relevant to the current political environment. That's what some people are saying. Well Turtle Warriors after you here this episode you will know why those people are the biggest idiots ever. Because in this episode we cover the politics, the scandals and the conspiracies that drove one of the most important political events of our lifetime. But we don't stop there! We dive deep into the dark side of politics and human nature and answer questions you did not even know you were asking. It's time to get serious - This is the 2024 Presidential Election Episode!

Welcome to America Bitches! We like our cars fast, our internet faster and baby you better know we like our food the fastest! Health scares, yeah right! A nation plagued with morbid obesity, get out of my face! If you are looking for healthy baby food, jump across the pond and go crazy. If you are looking for a fast episode filled with delicious fast food then you are in the right place Turtle Warriors. It’s our fast food episode! 

Welcome to another exciting episode of the "Turtle War," your favorite podcast! This week, we're thrilled to plunge into the playful chaos of April Fools' Day, bringing you our highly anticipated second installment dedicated to April Fools' Day! Whether you're a prankster at heart or just along for the ride, get ready to discover how April Fools' Day can bring out both the clever strategist and the unsuspecting victim in all of us. So, settle in, and ready to have your minds blown again.

Its our second April Fools Day Episode!

In this bone-chilling episode, we dig up the sugary remains of the iconic 90s phenomenon: Mr. Bones. Unearth the sweet secrets of why these coffin-contained confections stirred up a skeletal frenzy across the world, sparking a craze that continues to haunt candy lovers to this day. Join us as we assemble the pieces of history, savor the nostalgia, and explore the obsession that keeps Mr. Bones marching in our hearts—and tastebuds.

Its the Mr Bones Episode!

I WANT TO BELIEVE! 

BIG FOOT!!! The Loch Ness Monster! War of the Worlds! How to charge an iPod with an onion! #baldforbieber!!! That’s right faithful listeners, this episode the Turtle War Crew tackles one of the biggest, most dangerous forms of psychological crime in history, Hoaxes! We expose every hoax for what they are so that you can sleep at night. And you will sleep at night because this is no Hoax. This is the Turtle War Podcast! A name you can trust, a source you can believe in.

Wait a minute that all sounds familiar. Why does this feel like something we did 58 episodes ago? Oh... BECAUSE IT IS! This is our second visit into the world of lies, pranks and mysteries that make up the lifestyle of the fiends and charlatans that keep this world going.

It's our second Hoaxes Episode!

It happened again. You get in a fight with someone, you are both yelling, the lights start flashing and you wake up the next morning in the other person's body. How did this happen? How do you fix it? What is going on? Well Turtle Warriors you are in luck because your boys at the Turtle War Podcast have the answers to all of your questions. This is not the time to panic, its time for our Freaky Friday Episode!

Its that time of year again, time to celebrate the birth of our lord and the life of our Santa. Get comfortable and pop open the sparkling Cider. Its the happiest time of the year in 2024 on the Turtle War Podcast. Its our Christmas Episode.

"The Blair Witch Project" is a 1999 independent horror film directed by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez. It follows a group of three film students—Heather, Mike, and Josh—who venture into the woods of Maryland to document the local legend of the Blair Witch. The film is presented as a found footage documentary, showcasing the students' terrifying experiences as they become increasingly lost and encounter supernatural phenomena. Its innovative filmmaking style and chilling narrative helped redefine the horror genre, making it a cult classic and influencing countless subsequent films.

And now this film is finally getting the recognition it deserves as your boys at the Turtle War Podcast break it down and breathe new life into the legend. Everyone said it was a ground breaking film. Well now it actually is. Welcome to the big leagues Witch, this is the Blair Witch episode!

We all love wresting, that is a fact. Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bam Bam Bigelow, these guys are the lifeblood of our entire civilization. Everyone in the world starts their day by looking in the mirror and saying "I wish I could be more like Sergeant Slaughter."

But what would happen if the heroes of our lives all of a sudden became the villains? What would it mean to the human race if our reason for living became the reason we were dying? These are the questions we are going to answer in this terrifying episode of the Turtlewar. You have been warned Turtle Warriors, this story does not have a happy ending. This is not your grandpa's Apocalypse. This is as real as it gets. This is the Wrestleocalypse!