This is the Bee Weekly for 3/12/21.

Kyle and Ethan are joined by CEO Seth Dillon and Managing Editor Joel Berry. They discuss the eccentric Elon Musk tweeting at The Bee while roasting The Onion, all those who have been  recently cancelled in the culture wars, and Alabama kangaroos. Talk turns to Big Tech censorship in the subscriber-exclusive lounge with The Babylon Bee’s CEO and, of course, there’s plenty of weird news and glorious hate mail.

Intro

Seth and Joel arrive in beautiful Southern California and everyone announces their preferred pronouns. They want to know what Trump’s breath smells like.

Subscriber Dare

We’ll do anything to get you to subscribe. In today’s edition of a segment some call “Dance Monkey Dance” we all wish Knox a very happy 11th birthday!

Weird News

From NTB: "Pro-Life Evangelicals for Biden" group says they feel "used and betrayed" by his radical abortion platform

In one of history's biggest "I told ya so" moments, the group called Pro-Life Evangelicals for Biden has written a letter to the president saying they feel "used and betrayed" for the Democrats' exclusion of the Hyde Amendment from the recent stimulus bill

The Hyde Amendment is a bill renewed each year since 1976 that makes it so that federal tax dollars can't go toward abortion. There's a whole money laundering scheme Lefties have created with Planned Parenthood and others to give them support in other ways, but it remains illegal for my tax money to be used for the bloody evisceration of unborn babies.

Wolf enclosure at Chinese zoo contains only a domesticated dog

A Chinese zoo's wolf enclosure is gaining attention online after a visitor captured video of a domesticated dog in the enclosure labeled for its wild canine cousins.

The filmer said a zoo employee told him there used to be a wolf in the cage, but it died of old age.

An official with Forestry Bureau Office of Xianning City said the zoo told authorities the dog was being temporarily housed in the wolf enclosure to prevent people from trying to sneak into the zoo by scaling the wall into the habitat.

TWO CATS in different states reunited with families after four years

Story 1: North Carolina family reunited with lost cat after four years

Story 2: Missing New Jersey cat turns up four years later in Pittsburgh

What’s up with all these cats disappearing for four years? Theories?

Turkey crashes through window into California dentist's office

"It clawed up multiple walls to where we're gonna have to repaint in there. Some of the glass that came in cut the dental chairs ... and we'll need some deep cleaning," McDonald told the Sacramento Bee.

Animal control referred McDonald to Gold Country Wildlife Rescue, which sent someone to the scene to evict the turkey.

"There was no wrangling this bird as an amateur. The wildlife lady kind of struggled with it," McDonald said.

Escaped kangaroo captured after two days on the loose in Alabama

The kangaroo was supposed to spend a few days at a farm in Winfield before continuing on to the home of a buyer in Tennessee, but the marsupial slipped loose from one of its handlers Monday and fled.

What did the Kangaroo do during it’s two days loose in Alabama?

15th century Chinese bowl bought for $35 at Connecticut yard sale

 A small bowl bought for $35 at a Connecticut yard sale was identified as a 600-year-old Chinese antique and is expected to sell for up to $500,000 at auction.

Sotheby's auction house in New York said the seller, a man who is not being identified, purchased a floral bowl for $35 at a yard sale in New Haven in 2020 and sent photos of the object to auction specialists to see if it was a genuine antique.

The porcelain bowl was identified as a "lotus bowl" from the court of the Yongle Emperor, who ruled from 1403 until 1424. Only six other lotus bowls from the same period are known to still exist.

The auction house said the bowl is expected to fetch a high bid of $300,000 to $500,000 -- up to 14,300 times the amount of money it sold for at the yard sale.

From NTB: Woke madness: 6th grade teacher divides her students into "privileged groups" and "targeted groups" to teach about "oppression"

A Minnesota middle school teacher taught a lesson on "different types of oppression" and then had her students separate into "Privileged Groups" and "Targeted Groups" based on their group identities — race, sex, religion, sexual orientation, and place of birth.

The lesson taught by Odelis Anderson, choir teacher (yes a choir teacher did this) at Sunrise Park Middle School in White Bear Lake, MN

For Kyle:

Teenager spends 36 hours on swing to break Guinness record

A 17-year-old New Zealand boy broke a Guinness World Record when he spent 36 consecutive hours swinging on a playground swing set.

Patrick Cooper, 17, of Hawke's Bay, began swinging at a park in Taradale at 10:23 a.m. Saturday and completed his attempt at 10:23 p.m. Sunday.

The teenager said he was supposed to start at 9 a.m., but the attempt was delayed when he slept through his alarm.

Elon Musk Tweeting The Bee

The Bee has taken on some strange bedfellows. You know like the previous president and the richest man on earth.

Elon Musk just trolled The Onion by replying to them on Twitter with a plug for The Babylon Bee 😍😂😭 Gone but not forgotten: remembering the cancel culture icons we’ve lost Hate Mail

Sometimes Seth will personally respond to your hate mail. A dramatic re-enactment.

Subscriber Portion Cancel Culture/Big Tech Censorship with Managing Editor Joel Berry and/or CEO Seth Dillon, what The Babylon Bee is seeing right now in the war on free speech The Ten Questions for The Babylon Bee’s CEO and Managing Editor! Bonus Hate Mail

Abigail calls us racists over our recent coverage of the former royals: Harry and Megan.

Subscriber Headlines of the Week Got any cool stories?