Twice as Bright, Half as Long

Ian and Dave watch the final two episodes of Wonderfalls. In "Totem Mole," Jaye and Sharon find themselves involved in the politics of a local Native American community via an old rival of Sharon, and Jaye tries not to become their new spiritual leader thanks to a totem pole. In "Caged Bird," planned celebrations for Darren and Karen's anniversary are interrupted when a bank robber takes the staff of Wonderfalls and Sharon hostage. They talk about the show and pick their MVPs, Dave gets annoyed by terrible TV first aid and overused TV plots, and Statistician Ian is summoned from the netherworld to let you know what show will be covered next.

Dave and Ian welcome you to their penultimate podcast on Wonderfalls. In "Safety Canary," Jaye and Eric go on their first date, but the animals have other plans for Jaye that involve her helping a zookeeper to steal two macaws for breeding purposes. In "Lying Pig," Eric's wife, Heidi, returns to win him back, and the animals seem to want Jaye to help her. Meanwhile, Mahandra is panicking about having spent the night with Aaron, and Karen is asked to dinner by another doctor at the hospital where Darren works. And in "Cocktail Bunny," Jaye is told by the animals that she needs to "save him from her," so she concludes that Heidi is going to try and kill Eric. Dave start a feature called "Falconry Corner," Ian does an impression of a macaw, and they marvel at the ever-changing internal architecture of The Barrel, Niagra's only bar apparently.

Dave is joined by former Doctor Who writer Andrew Smith to discuss his work writing and script editing the return of Star Cops for Big Finish. They chat about Andrew's history with the show, how his experience in the police informed his work, how Linda Newton was nearly not involved, writing for Devis, and how you tackle having no sound in space on an audio production.

Ian and Dave begin a new era of TABHAL now that Dave has moved to the North. They also watch three more episodes of Wonderfallls. In "Muffin Buffalo," Jaye is less than happy that she is getting a reputation as someone who helps people, but then finds herself trying to help one of her neighbors while the animals tell her not to help another. In "Barrel Bear," Mahandra and Jaye find themselves at odds over the legendary Millie Marcus who might or might not be first woman to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel and live. And in "Lovesick Ass," Jaye and Eric find themselves helping a Russian woman who has come to America to marry her true love only to discover that it is a 13 year old boy. Dave explains how Chicken Boo influenced his taste in comedy, they appoint an official TABAHL fashion correspondent, and Ian is reunited with one of HAA's greatest nemesis: Spencer Breslin.

Dave and Ian have a fine old time watching another three episodes of Wonderfalls. In "Karma Chameleon," Jaye meets a shy woman called Bianca who has a stutter. The animals tell her to "get her words out," but it turns out that Bianca is not all that she appears to be and that Jaye's instructions turn out to have an altogether different meaning. In "Wound Up Penguin," Jaye and Eric find themselves helping a cheese-loving nun who has lost her faith, and a penguin tells Jaye to "bring her home to him." Eric finds himself having to confront his unhappy past, and Jaye's instructions turn out to have an altogether different meaning. And in "Crime Dog," Jaye and Aaron find themselves in trouble with the law after their housekeeper is deported to Canada. A cow creamer tells Jaye to "bring her home," so Jaye, Aaron, and the cow creamer go to get Yvette back. Sharon has a showdown with her siblings at the boarder, and it turns out that Jaye's instructions have an altogether different meaning. Ian is overjoyed at Aaron finally getting screen time, Dave struggles to recap a scene where everyone's name rhymes, and they find out what Lee Pace's middle name is.

Ian and Dave start the new year with a new show: Brian Fuller's Wonderfalls. In "Wax Lion," Jaye Tyler is just a normal person living in a trailer and working in a Niagara Falls gift shop. Then one day a malformed wax lion starts to talk to her, and soon multiple inanimate animals start speaking and urging her to get involved in the lives of strangers. This leads her to learn something new about her sister Sharon. In "Pink Flamingos," Jaye has no intention of running her father over with a car or attending her high school reunion. The animals have different ideas, however, so her father ends up in hospital and high school queen bee Gretchen Speck asks her to help organize the reunion. Dave has trouble pronouncing names, Ian identifies the two minutes of the show he has seen previously, and they reward one listener's loyalty entirely by accident.

Dave and Ian invite you to join them for a vaguely seasonal episode as the watch the somewhat notorious Doctor Who spinoff attempt K9 and Company. Sarah Jane Smith is set to spend time at her aunt's country home but when she arrives she finds her aunt has left in suspicious circumstances, she has to look after her aunt's ward who is back from boarding school, and a crate that has been waiting for her for three years contains a gift from The Doctor in the shape of K9 Mark III. If all that wasn't enough, it seems that there is a pagan cult at work in the village of Morton Harwood that could have dire consequences for Aunt Lavina's market garden business. Sarah Jane and K9 must solve the mystery and rescue Brendan from a sacrificial alter. They also discuss what connects this to Hellraiser, how the BBC viewed anywhere west of Reading, and who are the ringleaders of the Morton Harwood swinger set.

Ian and Dave conclude their look at The Persuaders with three more episodes. In "The Morning After," Brett wakes with a sore head to discover that he is married, while Danny's investigations lead him to Brett being used to derail international peace talks. In "A Death in the Family," someone is killing off Brett's relatives one by one and suspicion falls on other members of his family. And in "To the Death, Baby," Danny and Brett decide to step in when a known con man attempts to inveigle his way into the affections of a young heiress, but things are not what they seem. They also discuss the number of guest stars who have been in Doctor Who, marvel at Roger Moore as a master of disguise, and stumble across an odd IMDB biography. Statistician Ian also returns to inform them what they will be covering for the next episode.

Dave and Ian cover three episodes of The Persuaders as voted for by listeners. In "The Old, the New and the Deadly," Danny finds himself targeted by evil Nazi Patrick Troughton due to a case of mistaken identity. In "That's Me Over There," Brett's investigation into businessman Thaddeus Krane leads him to being kidnapped, and Danny must impersonate Brett in order to get vital information. And in "The Man in the Middle," Brett doing a favor for Judge Fulton leads to a case of mistaken identity as they try to uncover a mole in British intelligence. Danny and Brett's third cousin, Terry-Thomas, must stage a rescue. They also discuss Roger Moore's superhero alter ego, Brettman; characters regularly reaming unnamed on screen for most of the episodes; bring down the imagined legal wrath of the Association of Tennis Professionals; and are delighted to be reunited with two actors from Blake's 7.

With Ian in the process of moving into his new house and Dave about to go on holiday, they decide to take a break from their regular schedule and look back at all the shows that they have covered up to this point. What was the show they enjoyed the most? Which show was the most contentious? Which show contains one of Ian's favorite pieces of TV dialogue ever? Is Dave a contradiction for hating Crime Traveller yet owning to copies of the box set and the only piece of bootleg merchandise known to exist? All these questions and more will be answered.