Twig's SE Reflections

Play Episode 84 Here

When we're stressed we think less. That's true for everyone but it's an especially vexing fact for our distressed clients – many of whom desperately need to make more helpful and healthful decisions on behalf of their well-being.

Milton Erickson, the famous psychiatrist and hypnotherapist, knew this too. That's why he maintained a list to reference when his body got racked by pain due to his history with polio.

I often tell clients about Milton's list (and my own) and why it may be a good idea for them to create something similar for times when they're "freaking."

Episode Mentions:

Milton Ericsson - WikipediaMilton H. Erickson M.D.: An American Healer - Amazon - non-affiliated linkKathy Kain - Somatic Experiencing® FacultyStephen Gilligan - Trance Camp

When I'm introducing this idea of "Milton's List" to clients I'm first trying to get it across that:

We think less when we're stressed so it's a good idea to have an aid to help us re-direct our attention toward more helpful ends.Other people have needed similar lists and have been willing to use them (such as Milton Erickson and Twig).Repetitive distress is rarely productive and usually deliterious. Working on our behalf to minimize it's consequences is a smart thing to do.Each of us has a pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that we do when we're "freaking out." Our goal is to name some of those steps so that when we see them coming we can turn our attention toward the list.No single aide or activity is going to be the answer every time.

When I'm helping clients create their list I try to:

Find resources or activities they've already discovered on their own that they know are helpful in calming things down. As in Kathy Kain's question: "When these things have happened before, what have you found that helps the most?"Help them think creatively about about other "resources" they have in their lives that they could lean on to help them minimize their repetitive activation.Increase the amount of social contact or "outside of me" attention that can be engaged.Encourage the use of somatic and physiologically informed activities that can be anticipated to help calm things down such as:

* Orientation – Engage the world around you rather than reference "in you" too much. 

* Simulated Pendulation – Probably in the 3x3 pattern of "Naming 3 things you can see around you, name 3 things you can feel inside, name 3 other things you can see." Repeat.

* The Hook – Brain Gym move where you tangle your hands, arms and legs across the midline of the body and press the tongue to the roof of the mouth.

* Sometimes breathing excercises, though rarely do I include this.

* Grounding excercises in rounds – Like standing in a doorway with the outside of the feet and hands pressing out to the doorjam.

* Squeezing things in rounds – Like plastic water bottles or towels.

* Ripping up Newspaper in rounds – The sound is so so satisfying.

* And so on...

Setting up easy access to this list can be necessary:

Sometimes just talking about the idea of such a list is enough to give people something to lean on rather than focus all their attention on recurring anguish.Other times it's enough to actually make a list on a single piece of paper.For some, making copies of the list and posting it around the house, in the car and at the office is a better idea.The homescreen of a smartphone can be another handy place to have this list available for quick review.

The more we can "let that be itself" – the better. Helping to find the amount of possible allowance and being satisfied with that, is a key to successful integration.

Play Episode 83 Here

There's a classic moment in SE sessions when a client is successfully moving through the activation cycle only to balk at allowing the discharge or deactivation phase because it "feels too weird" and indeed often times this phase includes truly odd, unsettling or even frightening sensations. It's important to get adept at gauging how much allowance of this "wierd" experience can be tolerated and to work toward trying to limit the attention to the "strangeness" in a way that your client can be successful at allowing this very "new" impression to be felt and integrated in their somatic experience - as much as possible.

This episode looks around at the timing, considerations and some lines of trying to help these unique experiences be felt and "move on through."

Play Episode 82 Here

An unrestrained reverie episode considering the mythical, idealized and probably impossible Perfect Therapeutic Island. Includes a look at when it would be necessary to go there, what would make it ideal, and words of encouragement on what we SEP's can do when holding the tension between the reality of what is possible and what we wish for.

Play Episode 81 Here

Practically speaking, when every knew sensation is a threat there are things that SE Practitioners need to do in order to enable success rather than recapitulate the feeling of pain, failure, or the impossibility for change. Episode 81 looks at some of the step by step nature of bringing pain laden movement sequences into small successes and "back out again." It's all in the name of success in getting to do something new, rather than the same old thing that calls up the pain and thus reinforces it.

Play Episode 80 Here

Sometimes pain is the overriding signal in a client's experience. Try as we might there's simply not much ease or goodness to be found. In this episode I start to look into what we can do about such a scene in order to get some traction to help things change. Funny enough, this episode gets cut short due to local conditions so the next one will tackle the more practical elements while this recording covers some of the basic concerns for the practitioner and client when working with chronic or overwhelming pain.

Play Episode 79 Here

Challenged sleep is a psycho-historical phenomenon of the times in which we live. It's also a very real and personal experience for many of our clients. Being able to think and talk about sleep from multiple different levels is a requirement of our work.

This episode looks at self-care tactics, some broader notions about sleep and reiterates my conviction that enhanced self-regulation accessed through completion of self-protective responses is a golden key to help us close our eyes at night and find out what are dreams are going to be about.

Play Episode 78 Here

One paradox in our SE work is the need to engage the "problem state" or "Red/Trauma Vortex" material and at the same time avoid it becoming too much of itself. Some of us get quite good at helping clients feel calmer and even generally "better" simply by helping them avoid reinforcing their attention toward disquiet and turmoil.

Still and all, eventually we need to address the problem, the challenge, the task at hand. This episode simply names that out and makes an encouragement to not avoid (fear) the text.

Play Episode 77 Here

Our SE sessions are made up of dozens, if not hundreds, of elements of experience encountered in the moment. Part of our task as SE Practitioners is to help clients thread their attention through these elements in a way that maximizes the sense of success while minimizing the sense of failure - ala the "I Can Principle."

Judging what is going to become an "I Can" moment and what will lead to reinforcing "I Can't" requires time, experience and attention. This critical weighing of what is going to work and what isn't will be greatly aided by realizing that you're constantly updating this assessment and that you''re better off working in relationship to ideals of "what should be happening" rather than continually frustrating a person's success by either asking for or being unhelpful in minimizing when things will not be successful.

In short, we need to be able to perceive what our client's "can do" and help them achieve that while doing our best to minimize what they "can't do." Here's a reflection on some elements that go into this assessment.

As SE practitioner we often either accompany or prepare our clients for stressful events. Things like surgeries, court battles, conflicted meetings with family or employers and so on. These inherently stressful events can be hard on anyone and are especially challenged for people who already experience themselves in regular distress. They're also the kind of events that we shouldn't "do alone" if at all possible. And whenever possible, hopefully we'll have an advocate on our side.

Advocates can focus on all kinds of different responsibilities. In this episode I consider the advocate whose role is to help modulate the stress response during a challenging event. This is only a first look at a broader subject that I'll return to more specifically around preparing for surgery and medical procedures.

Preparing for Surgery Primer

In this episode I mention a Preparing for Surgery primer/guide that I created years back. This piece still needs an update but the original document still stands up and by signing up to download it below I'll know how to tell you when the updated version is available.

Play Episode 75 Here

Along the path of learning something as dynamic as Somatic Experiencing is extended time repeating and mimicking other peoples words, voice, rhythm and presentation. This "copy cat time" is probably necessary. There are so many patterns in our work that require our extensive practice before they become our own. Once they do become our own, once we hear our own voice and expression coming in to guide our sessions...we should give a cheer and turn that way. Even if it includes quirks of our own personality that may be unique to us. Ultimately finding our own voice reflects our at-ease-ness in the room, which transmits through our tone and posture to signal a stronger sense of safety "I'm okay to be here. And so are you." Here's some encouragement for going through the process of finding your own SE voice.