In their most ✨sparkling✨ episode yet, Adam, Liz, and Maggie visit Forks, Washington, where a sullen vampire and his mortal paramour stare at each other a lot while having excellent hair.

Listen in for our takes on Team Edward vs. Team Jacob, a read of Twilight through "I can fix him" discourse, shots fired at Tuck Everlasting fans in the cold open, and whether a grown man seeing Twilight for the first time can appreciate all the teenage yearning. And also Bella's hair, did we mention the hair?

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