Owen is lonely, bullied, ignored at home, and desperate for someone who actually understands him.

Then Abby moves in next door.

She’s his age. She only comes out at night. She walks barefoot through the snow. She can solve a Rubik’s Cube suspiciously fast. And there’s the small matter of her needing human blood to survive.

This week on Two Cents We See Scary Movies, Talon and Christopher wrap up Who’s Kids Are These?! Month with Let Me In, Matt Reeves’ 2010 vampire horror film starring Kodi Smit-McPhee, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Richard Jenkins.

We’re talking Owen’s relentless bullies, Thomas’s increasingly disastrous attempts at blood delivery, Abby’s extremely aggressive approach to conflict resolution, classic vampire rules, and the public swimming pool that becomes the site of perhaps the most effective anti-bullying campaign ever put on film.

But the bigger question is what exactly Abby wants from Owen.

Is this really a strange, sad little vampire love story between two lonely kids? Or has a centuries-old vampire found a vulnerable 12-year-old and begun interviewing him for the position Thomas has held his entire life?

Talon and Christopher do not agree on this movie. At all.

One of us found the melancholy, slow-burn relationship surprisingly effective. The other found two hours of sad children talking to each other significantly less enchanting.

Either way, dating is complicated enough without discovering that your new girlfriend sleeps in a bathtub and may eventually need you to start collecting blood for her.

Listen now and tell us: was Abby really in love with Owen, or was he always meant to become Thomas’s replacement?

Two Cents We See Scary Movies

Horror movie reviews, horror comedy, vampire movies, scary movies, cult horror, horror podcast, movie reviews and questionable decisions made by people who should absolutely know better.

#LetMeIn #LetMeIn2010 #VampireMovies #HorrorMovies #HorrorPodcast #MovieReview #ScaryMovies #ChloeGraceMoretz #KodiSmitMcPhee #MattReeves #VampireHorror #TwoCentsWeSeeScaryMovies

Something is definitely wrong with the children.

For our Who’s Kids Are These?! theme, Talon and Christopher take on There’s Something Wrong with the Children, the 2023 Blumhouse supernatural horror film directed by Roxanne Benjamin and starring Alisha Wainwright, Zach Gilford, Amanda Crew, and Carlos Santos.

A weekend getaway between longtime friends takes a seriously disturbing turn after two children disappear into the woods overnight and return behaving very differently. Ben becomes convinced something supernatural happened to them, but getting everyone else to believe him turns out to be almost as difficult as surviving whatever came back from the woods.

We’re getting into the glowing pit, creepy kids, insect imagery, questionable survival decisions, one police response that sends Christopher over the edge, and a mythology that gives us just enough information to leave us asking what the hell is actually going on.

Did the movie’s lack of answers make it creepier, or did we need a whole lot more explanation about what was living in that pit?

Full spoilers ahead.

Two Cents: We See Scary Movies — horror movie reviews, plot breakdowns, reactions, theories, bad decisions, and the occasional argument over what any sane person would actually do in a horror movie.

#TheresSomethingWrongWithTheChildren #HorrorMovieReview #BlumhouseHorror #EvilKidsHorror #SupernaturalHorror #HorrorPodcast #ScaryMovies #TwoCentsWeSeeScaryMovies

This week on Two Cents We See Scary Movies, we wrap up our Wired to Kill theme with Deadly Friend, Wes Craven’s 1986 sci-fi horror movie about a teenage genius, his homemade robot BB, the girl next door, and one of the worst grief decisions ever committed to film.

Paul Conway may be smart enough to build a robot, study artificial intelligence, and somehow get his own university lab before he can legally rent a car, but common sense is not exactly leading the team here. After BB is destroyed and Samantha is left brain-dead, Paul decides the obvious solution is to combine his robot bestie with his dead crush and hope nothing terrible happens.

Spoiler: terrible things happen.

We get killer robot logic, teenage Frankenstein energy, questionable hospital security, a deeply hostile old lady with a shotgun, a biker gang with regrettable timing, and one basketball scene that earns its place in horror history.

If you want to add Deadly Friend to your own collection, the Collector’s Edition is available on Gruv, and we have an affiliate link here:

https://gruv.com/products/deadly-friend-collectors-edition-blu-ray-_1000806360

Using the link helps support the show. Just maybe keep it away from your Roomba.

Welcome to Park Plaza Mall, where the security robots are fully armed, extremely polite, and absolutely terrible at de-escalation.

This week, Talon and Christopher kick off Wired to Kill with Chopping Mall, the 1986 horror-comedy featuring an after-hours party, three malfunctioning robots, questionable survival decisions, and remarkably little chopping. Thank you. Have a nice day.

Next up is Wes Craven’s Deadly Friend. Get ready with the Collector’s Edition Blu-ray from Gruv:

https://gruv.com/products/deadly-friend-collectors-edition-blu-ray-_1000806360

Affiliate disclosure: We may earn a commission from purchases made through this link, at no additional cost to you.

#ChoppingMall #WiredToKill #KillerRobots #HorrorComedy #CultHorror #TwoCentsWeSeeScaryMovies

Welcome to Gatlin, Nebraska: population children, occupation murder, religion complicated.

This week on Two Cents We See Scary Movies, Talon and Christopher revisit Children of the Corn, the 1984 horror classic based on Stephen King’s short story. When Burt and Vicky accidentally stumble into a seemingly abandoned farming town, they discover that Gatlin’s children have formed a deadly religious cult led by the unnervingly intense Isaac and his power-hungry enforcer, Malachai.

We break down poisoned coffee, suspiciously casual vehicular manslaughter, a dead child rolling around in a trunk like a set of golf bags, Vicky’s complete lack of urgency, the terrifyingly effective child cast, and the arrival of Christopher’s greatest contribution to religious mythology: the Maiziah.

Talon also looks back on how frightening Children of the Corn seemed when she watched it as a child compared with seeing it again at 51, while Christopher explains why this entire corn-covered catastrophe falls firmly under “not my problem.”

Does this Stephen King adaptation remain a creepy small-town horror classic, or have its supernatural effects withered in the field? Join us as we close out Red, White & Screwed with murderous children, farm tools, questionable adult decisions, and He Who Walks Behind the Rows.

Next month, the machines are taking over with our new theme, Wired to Kill. We’re kicking things off with Chopping Mall, the 1986 horror comedy in which a group of mall employees learns that an after-hours party and malfunctioning security robots are a deadly combination.

Watch Chopping Mall free on Plex:
https://www.kqzyfj.com/click-101633208-15734677

Chopping Mall is also currently available on Tubi, The Roku Channel, The CW, Pluto TV, Shout! Factory TV, Prime Video, AMC+, Shudder, Philo, fuboTV, Screambox, and additional ad-supported services.

#ChildrenOfTheCorn #StephenKingHorror #HorrorMoviePodcast #TwoCentsWeSeeScaryMovies #1980sHorror #CultHorror #WiredToKill #ChoppingMall

We’re kicking off our Red, White, and Screwed theme with Summer of ’84, a slow-burn suburban horror mystery full of bike rides, neighborhood stakeouts, questionable adult supervision, and one very suspicious cop next door.

This one gave us a lot to talk about, from Davey’s full-time teenage surveillance operation to the movie’s heavy 80s nostalgia and whether a slow burn can still work when one host is getting impatient. Talon connected with the curiosity and investigation side of the story, while Christopher had a much harder time with the pacing and the kid-centered setup.

Is Summer of ’84 a creepy small-town thriller that earns its ending, or does it take too long to get there? Grab your walkie-talkie, don’t trust the friendly neighbor too fast, and join us as we break it down.

#SummerOf84 #HorrorPodcast #MovieReview #SmallTownHorror #80sHorror #SlowBurnHorror #TrueCrimeHorror #RedWhiteAndScrewed #TwoCentsWeSeeScaryMovies

This week on Two Cents: We See Scary Movies, we wrap up Grave Humor Month with Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, a movie where two perfectly decent hillbillies buy a murder cabin, try to fix it up, and accidentally become the prime suspects in the dumbest college massacre ever committed by the victims themselves.

Talon and Christopher head into the woods for a horror comedy full of bad assumptions, worse communication, aggressive stupidity, chainsaws, bees, bowling fingers, and one deeply committed Chad who sees two awkward country boys and immediately decides he is living inside a slasher movie.

Tucker and Dale just wanted a vacation home.

The college kids brought trauma, judgment, and the cardio capacity of people sprinting directly into natural selection.

#TuckerAndDaleVsEvil #HorrorComedy #HorrorPodcast #MovieReview #ScaryMovies #TwoCentsWeSeeScaryMovies

This week on Two Cents We See Scary Movies, Talon and Christopher kick off Grave Humor Month with The Babysitter (2017), a Netflix horror comedy that asks the important question: what if Home Alone had more blood, more Satan, and a babysitter who was somehow both amazing and absolutely the worst person to leave alone with your child?

Cole thinks he is just sneaking downstairs to see what his cool babysitter Bee does after bedtime. Unfortunately, what she does after bedtime is host a satanic blood ritual with her very attractive, very unstable friend group. From fire pokers through eyeballs to homemade bug spray flamethrowers, this movie takes one anxious twelve-year-old and turns him into a tiny suburban John McClane with trauma.

Let’s just say… this is one night of babysitting that goes completely off the rails.

The Babysitter is currently available to stream on Netflix.

#TheBabysitter #TheBabysitter2017 #NetflixHorror #HorrorComedy #GraveHumor #TwoCentsWeSeeScaryMovies #HorrorPodcast #MovieReviewPodcast #ScaryMovies #CultHorror #SamaraWeaving #JudahLewis #DarkComedy #HorrorFans #PodcastEpisode

Spring Break, Broken Bodies continues, and we're trading prehistoric fish for something arguably worse — plants with a personal vendetta. This week, Christopher leads us through The Ruins (2008): a group of Americans on vacation in Mexico who follow a German stranger they just met into an unmarked jungle to find some ancient ruins, because sure, why not. What follows is killer vines, at least one surgical scene nobody asked for, and an ending that's significantly better on DVD than it was in theaters. Different ecosystem than last week. Same catastrophic decision-making.

#TheRuins #HorrorPodcast #BadDecisions #SurvivalHorror #ScaryMovies #MovieBreakdown #HorrorFans #FilmTalk

In this episode of Two Cents: We See Scary Movies, Talon and Christopher review Piranha 3D (2010), the wild spring break horror movie packed with killer fish, nonstop gore, disaster-movie chaos, and one of the most ridiculous creature-feature setups of the 2010s.

This horror movie podcast episode breaks down the Jaws-style opening, the underwater dance sequence, the massive piranha attack, the practical gore effects, the bizarre 3D moments, and the stacked cast that somehow includes Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Richard Dreyfuss, Jerry O’Connell, and Adam Scott.

This is also Christopher’s first official episode as the new co-host of Two Cents, and the first episode in the show’s new video format. The result is a funny, sarcastic, and brutally honest horror movie review of a film that is equal parts bloody, stupid, entertaining, and unforgettable.

If you like horror movie reviews, creature features, shark-adjacent terror, spring break horror, campy horror movies, practical gore, and funny movie podcasts, this episode is for you.

Next up in the Spring Break Broken Bodies theme: The Ruins.

#Piranha3D #HorrorMovieReview #CreatureFeature #SpringBreakHorror #HorrorPodcast #CampyHorror #MovieReview #PiranhaMovie #2010Horror #ScaryMoviePodcast