That's all I'm saying. Chuck in all the firm veg you want - cabbage, carrot, maybe a little chilli, ginger, garlic, it's all optional - and add two per cent salt, by weight. At least. If you're nervous, go three per cent. And scrunch it in well and pack it tight into the jar. Leave it out of your fridge for a few days, depending on how warm your kitchen is, then move them to the fridge. And burp the jars. For god's sake. No-one needs cabbagey shrapnel. 
Anyway. We explored some mildly fraught stuff in the podcast today - that's on me - and I hope you're ok with it. Door's always open: nottoday@swanburst.com xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Two Per Cent Salt

A once-daily-now-occasional podcast featuring Jake Yapp, as seen and heard on Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe, Radio 4 and 6Music. Twitter: @NotTodayPod. Text and voice message Whatsapp: 07862032654  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

News & Politics

Comedy

In which I finally actually figure out a format for the Unread Book Club... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Meet the Professor

A post-festive catchup on stuff, and the launch of two new fun talking points. Also some music I've been doing lately and er. Well. There's no skirting round it. A Quick Chat - can we have a Quick Chat? - about Gregg Wallace... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Febrezing Your Dad

Today! Never heard before* Dora Dale from 2007! Movie trailers courtesy of listener Pat! Music with a Very Slow Crescendo! Berlusconi's Art! Also, can we have a quick show of hands... Are you a Fast Eater or a Slow Eater? Email jakeyappmusic at gmail dot com xxx
*Apart from about 60% of the jokes which were repurposed, and not for the first time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bloodthirsty Picnic

Srsly. The music. And definitely the jokes. What I WILL say, is that if you buy a bed, it should, like, actually function as a bed. You shouldn't have to go back and buy an extra bit, separately, without being told, without which the bed will not function as a bed. You don't go and buy a car, only to be told ohhh if you needed the chassis, that'll be an extra twenty quid. It feels like a shakedown. And another thing, ladies and gentlemen, what about them new ten pees? I made a video of the music part, which I'll put on my new  musicky youtube at some point. If you want to stay in the loop on that, honk onto @jake.yapp.music on instabangs isn't it. Ok hugs x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's All Gone A Bit Seventies

...And that's a PITY. So do tell. The new email address is jakeyappmusic at gmail dot com. I don't know why I'm typing that address all CRYPTIC, like. I'd welcome spam at this point. Oh! I meant to tell you on the podcast, I did a really lovely radio show with Bibi Lynch, in front of an audience. If you want to listen, it's the second half of this: https://www.totallyradio.com/shows/bibi-does-brighton/episodes/bibi-does-brighton-05-oct-23  Anyway. DO get in touch. Any requests? I need a brief. x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Two Per Cent Salt

Download our free app to listen on your phone