It's the semis and all flags are flying at half mast given the loss of a certain Irish short king last week. Your loyal hosts aren't sure what pâtisserie is so please stop asking them. There's a huge upset in the showstopper challenge and frankly the bit of drama was much-needed. Who's going to win? Find out next week by watching the actual show, then listening to the final episode of this average but charming podcast x

Huge week for TSB (Two Soggy Bottoms, not tenderstem broccoli) as we have our very first SPECIAL GUESTS in the "studio". We've managed to wrangle two of Prue's stylists for a quick chat about their careers and lack of sight or experience. Otherwise, the episode was as divisive as ever for the two hosts whose tastes in sweet treats do not align once again. Gripping stuff, get stuck in x

Well now, aren't we having fun? This week, the bakers had to effectively just whazz together some eggs and sugar. Everything else was pageantry. We had a genuinely very meaningful throwback to a Bake Off incident in the days of yore which meant a lot to us losers who've watched the show for far too long. Oh also sorry about the clicking pen noise, we are but human and flawed. Love ya x

We've officially climbed over the halfway point of this year's series and the standard is higher than Prue after a bit of plonk. As expected, Paul spent the entirety of pastry week extremely On One, and the bakers did their best to woo him and his flower-stuffed-into-postbox-looking fellow judge. Enjoy Ciara and Ciarán's whimsical and deranged debrief of the episode x

We're at the halfway point of the series, but your hosts are understandably in a sombre mood given the breaking news that dropped mere hours before the episode aired. Ever the professionals, Ciara and Ciarán rally to deliver sharp performance analysis filled with delusional nightclub promotions, Prue outfit draggings and the bravery to call out chocolate fondue for what it is: a nonsense. Enjoy the episode, freaks x

In the latest instalment of 'what an absolute reach of a concept', the bakers had to bake things very Britishly related to school. It was a strange episode but Ciara and Ciarán still had their fun. This caption comes live from the departures lounge of Stansted Airport where Ciara can overhear a gaggle of cabin crew giving out about some pervy pilot. Get his ass, girlies. Anyway listen enjoy the episode. Does anyone read these captions? Comment 'ass' if you do.

This is it, the week where Paul Hollywood gains his most sentient form and adds another layer of self-righteousness. Our little bakers did their best, but they are collectively no match for the judging prowess of that mahogany Fox's glacier mint of a man. We laughed, we cried, we had a bit of plonk. It's a good episode - have a listen x

Another absolutely huge week for gingerbread, and be sure to send your congratulations to the PR team behind it. The bakers really took the biscuit this week - most notably Pui Man from Nataliia when she ran out. It was a good episode, there was a Hollywood Handshake and we found out that someone is a quinoa swimmer. What does that mean? You'll have to listen to find out, silly.

Surprise, we're back. After a year-long hiatus to tend to important matters (investigating the Bermuda Triangle, raising a Labubu and simply going toilet), Ciara and Ciarán have returned to save the very niche market of GBBO podcasting. First up, it's cake week, and these bakers sure know how to make one. But whomst is putting adult braces on the map? Whose dog needs a paternity test? Which podcast host's drag king name is the funniest? Tune in to find out.

(To the tune of Finally by CeCe Peniston) Finally it is Bake Off's last week they all made tiered cake and this podcast describes it. (End of singing to the tune of Finally by CeCe Peniston) Three bakers, three rounds, one winner... If you don't know who it was Ciara and Ciarán will tell you, and if you do know sure listen anyway for a couple of lols and comments from friends of the show. Also if you're reading this following the prompt at the end of the episode and are wondering what secret thing we're working on we can't talk about... it's nothing. So if you have secret thing you want us to work on let us know! Thanks for listening you are our raison d'être. Kisses.