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TWOU EP 23 - We've Stopped Playing (And It's Killing Us)
If you have to schedule fun, are you actually playing?
We thought play was something kids did and adults outgrew. Turns out it's a survival circuit, wired into the same deep part of the brain as grief & fear. And we've spent decades suppressing it in the name of productivity.
This conversation cracked something open for us. The four-part definition of real play that finally let us off the hook. Why "I'll play with the kids for five minutes" leaves everyone feeling worse. The research linking zero childhood play to seriously dysregulated adults. And the eight play types, so you can stop trying to be the parent who loves imaginary mouse games when that's not your thing.
In this episode:
🎙 0:20 — Why play matters for adults, not just kids
🎙 0:56 — Redefining play beyond childhood
🎙 1:49 — How society quietly killed our ability to play
🎙 3:24 — The real definition of play (and why most of what we do isn't it)
🎙 4:20 — What other cultures still know that we've forgotten
🎙 5:20 — The Gottman finding: play predicts marriage success more than communication
🎙 8:26 — The seven subcortical circuits and why play is one
🎙 10:30 — Play dropped 25% in a single generation
🎙 16:16 — How play activates the default mode network and makes you smarter
🎙 20:31 — Why ball pits at work actually increase productivity
🎙 22:01 — Play as nervous system regulation (real mode change, not just calming)
🎙 29:18 — The eight play types: Joker, Kinesthetic, Explorer, Competitor, Director, Collector, Creator, Storyteller
🎙 36:42 — How to start playing again as an adult
🎙 40:25 — Your homework + takeaways
What did you love doing between 8 and 12? It might be time to go back there…
✨ Listen to the Full Podcast
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6YFuoKTYMYQBkoBqDU6RWX
🍎 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-whole-of-us/id1852384590
🎙️ Podcast page: https://thewholeofus.riverside.com/
❤️ Follow Along
https://instagram.com/thewholeofus
https://facebook.com/we.are.the.whole.of.us
https://www.tiktok.com/@thewholeofus
🌿 Our Website + Stories
🔗 https://thewholeofus.com/
View all episodes
By Kelsey & Tom WauchopeIf you have to schedule fun, are you actually playing?
We thought play was something kids did and adults outgrew. Turns out it's a survival circuit, wired into the same deep part of the brain as grief & fear. And we've spent decades suppressing it in the name of productivity.
This conversation cracked something open for us. The four-part definition of real play that finally let us off the hook. Why "I'll play with the kids for five minutes" leaves everyone feeling worse. The research linking zero childhood play to seriously dysregulated adults. And the eight play types, so you can stop trying to be the parent who loves imaginary mouse games when that's not your thing.
In this episode:
🎙 0:20 — Why play matters for adults, not just kids
🎙 0:56 — Redefining play beyond childhood
🎙 1:49 — How society quietly killed our ability to play
🎙 3:24 — The real definition of play (and why most of what we do isn't it)
🎙 4:20 — What other cultures still know that we've forgotten
🎙 5:20 — The Gottman finding: play predicts marriage success more than communication
🎙 8:26 — The seven subcortical circuits and why play is one
🎙 10:30 — Play dropped 25% in a single generation
🎙 16:16 — How play activates the default mode network and makes you smarter
🎙 20:31 — Why ball pits at work actually increase productivity
🎙 22:01 — Play as nervous system regulation (real mode change, not just calming)
🎙 29:18 — The eight play types: Joker, Kinesthetic, Explorer, Competitor, Director, Collector, Creator, Storyteller
🎙 36:42 — How to start playing again as an adult
🎙 40:25 — Your homework + takeaways
What did you love doing between 8 and 12? It might be time to go back there…
✨ Listen to the Full Podcast
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6YFuoKTYMYQBkoBqDU6RWX
🍎 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-whole-of-us/id1852384590
🎙️ Podcast page: https://thewholeofus.riverside.com/
❤️ Follow Along
https://instagram.com/thewholeofus
https://facebook.com/we.are.the.whole.of.us
https://www.tiktok.com/@thewholeofus
🌿 Our Website + Stories
🔗 https://thewholeofus.com/