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Types of Conflict in Marriage Ep.2
Understanding the Roots of Relationship Conflict
In this episode of the Relationstitch podcast, licensed marriage and family therapist Clyde Fraley and his wife Stephanie dive into the inevitable reality of conflict in relationships. Rather than viewing fighting as a sign of failure, they argue that conflict is a normal part of merging two individual lives and can actually be a catalyst for growth if understood correctly.
The hosts break down several distinct sources of disagreement that couples face:
- Right vs. Wrong (Perspective): Often, arguments aren't about facts but about different points of view. Both partners may hold a "piece of the truth," and the goal is to combine those perspectives rather than prove the other wrong.
- Cultural Differences: Our family upbringings dictate our expectations for everything from how to cook fried chicken to how to celebrate Christmas. These deep-seated traditions can clash when partners try to recreate their own childhood experiences.
- "I" Definitions: We all have personal definitions for big concepts like "love" based on our past. If someone experienced abuse disguised as love growing up, their reaction to the phrase "I love you" might be fear rather than comfort, leading to confusion in the relationship.
- Morals and Values: Conflicts over core beliefs—such as religion or politics—are the most difficult to resolve. The hosts suggest that while these differences are hard to compromise on, they require deep respect and commitment to navigate.
- Personal Preferences vs. Personality: Many fights are simply about style—Android vs. iPhone, or an artistic mind vs. an analytical one. Learning to distinguish between a moral issue and a simple preference (like when the trash gets taken out) can save a lot of unnecessary tension.
The Takeaway: Conflict isn't the enemy; it's an opportunity to learn more about your partner. By identifying the root cause of an argument—whether it's a clash of values or just a difference in upbringing—couples can move from defensiveness to understanding.
Watch the full discussion here on YouTube: https://youtu.be/NGhcu_1DUy4?si=xmL_IYFjub5N6S2j
Click below to watch the full episode on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu_wRb72Oq6Htdb7EFHkzF1EyAApKfP7D
For relationship courses and free downloadable resources visit www.relationstitch.com
To schedule a therapy session visit www.clydefraley.com
View all episodes
By Clyde Fraley, M.A., LMFT, NCCUnderstanding the Roots of Relationship Conflict
In this episode of the Relationstitch podcast, licensed marriage and family therapist Clyde Fraley and his wife Stephanie dive into the inevitable reality of conflict in relationships. Rather than viewing fighting as a sign of failure, they argue that conflict is a normal part of merging two individual lives and can actually be a catalyst for growth if understood correctly.
The hosts break down several distinct sources of disagreement that couples face:
- Right vs. Wrong (Perspective): Often, arguments aren't about facts but about different points of view. Both partners may hold a "piece of the truth," and the goal is to combine those perspectives rather than prove the other wrong.
- Cultural Differences: Our family upbringings dictate our expectations for everything from how to cook fried chicken to how to celebrate Christmas. These deep-seated traditions can clash when partners try to recreate their own childhood experiences.
- "I" Definitions: We all have personal definitions for big concepts like "love" based on our past. If someone experienced abuse disguised as love growing up, their reaction to the phrase "I love you" might be fear rather than comfort, leading to confusion in the relationship.
- Morals and Values: Conflicts over core beliefs—such as religion or politics—are the most difficult to resolve. The hosts suggest that while these differences are hard to compromise on, they require deep respect and commitment to navigate.
- Personal Preferences vs. Personality: Many fights are simply about style—Android vs. iPhone, or an artistic mind vs. an analytical one. Learning to distinguish between a moral issue and a simple preference (like when the trash gets taken out) can save a lot of unnecessary tension.
The Takeaway: Conflict isn't the enemy; it's an opportunity to learn more about your partner. By identifying the root cause of an argument—whether it's a clash of values or just a difference in upbringing—couples can move from defensiveness to understanding.
Watch the full discussion here on YouTube: https://youtu.be/NGhcu_1DUy4?si=xmL_IYFjub5N6S2j
Click below to watch the full episode on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu_wRb72Oq6Htdb7EFHkzF1EyAApKfP7D
For relationship courses and free downloadable resources visit www.relationstitch.com
To schedule a therapy session visit www.clydefraley.com