On today’s daily comedy show, we bravely tackle one of society’s most sensitive topics: not every baby is cute. There, we said it. Inspired by the newly announced Gerber “Behind the Baby” photo search (yes, it’s back and yes, parents now get included), the gang debates the real question — do “ugly” babies actually grow up hotter? Is there a cosmic trade-off system? And should Gerber lean all the way in and create an “Ugly Baby Line” just for the laughs? We’re asking the real parenting questions here.

The 2026 Gerber Baby contest is officially open, offering $50,000 for ages 0–3 and $10,000 for ages 3–5. You just need one photo and a 200-word story about your kid’s “everyday victories.” Simple. Unless your baby peaked at three weeks old and now looks like a tiny angry accountant. Then what? We break down the new twist, the stage-parent energy, and why shaped heads apparently matter more than anything.

Then it’s time for Simpleton Trivia — aka 45 seconds of public humiliation. Listeners can either answer 10 rapid-fire questions themselves or gamble on Moon, King Scott, or Jamie pulling it off without spiraling into chaos. Spoiler: thermostats are not thermometers. Chloroform is not what plants breathe. And Madonna being called the “Queen of Pop” caused way more tension than expected.

We run through baseball questions, St. Louis pride, rock trivia, Harry Potter, sports, and enough pop culture curveballs to make everyone sweat. Some callers bet for the guys. Some bet against. Some sound like they’re about to cry on live radio. It’s beautiful.

We also celebrate a buffet of random March 3rd holidays — National Cold Cuts Day, National Canadian Bacon Day (which Canadians insist is just ham), Soup It Forward Day, and the deeply terrifying “What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day.” Because nothing says a responsible daily comedy show like imagining your dog opening cabinets.

And of course, we wrap by debating the greatest TV show of all time (Breaking Bad? The Wire? Fight about it in the comments) before pivoting into which U.S. state is the fittest — because we like to emotionally damage multiple demographics per episode.

It’s celebrity gossip, weird news energy, trivia chaos, Saint Louis pride, and pure Rizz Show nonsense — exactly what you expect from a daily comedy show that refuses to take itself too seriously.

Laugh with us. Roast us. Bet against us. Just don’t submit your baby unless you’re emotionally prepared.

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