Kody mispronounces words and thinks he would've been a better polygamist if he just told his wives sit down and shut up, Meri reveals that she's been legally asked to sit down and shut up, and I don't really get what David and Christine are doing in this episode tbh

Meri "randomly" "stumbles on" a letter from Kody she "forgot" he wrote 30 years ago, Robyn calls Kody a stripper, and Christine discusses why Paedon can only communicate in movie quotes

Robyn makes a gross reference to ovulation, Kody doesn't remember what the B&B looks like, and Christine wants Kody and David to be besties

Kody forgets he's the father to Christine's kids, Janelle thinks a janky tree propped up against the side of Maddie's house is a symbol for her future and Robyn gives a tearful goodbye to The Haunted Mansion

Mykelti almost get sucked up into a twister, Kody gets himself a new delicious dining room, and Meri has a painting party with a bunch of horndogs

David makes me legit LOL, Meri claims to be hilarious, and Robyn pretends she doesn't want to move into a mega-mansion. Plus, another terrible Special Forces recap!

Our favorite lunatics are back! Meri gets ready for speed dating, Janelle wears the label of Witch proudly, and Kody and Robyn make us all squirm with discomfort as they make sex jokes. Plus I do a terrible job of recapping Kody's first episode of Special Forces!

I explain my unexpected and unannounced summer hiatus and then regale you with the tale of meeting Christine

The Browns have some rules for the kids and their associates, Maddie calls Robyn out for her promiscuity, and Robyn refuses to get a job, even when one is literally handed to her

Kody announces the big news, Christine is afraid of leading the children to the sharks, and Robyn's got concerns about their neurodevelopment