Becoming your authentic self, especially when your authentic desires conflict with the values in your family of origin, can be an incredibly difficult process. Today, Lupin identifies as a queer man, exploring polyamory and porn work. This wasn’t always this way and we talk with him as a beautiful moment of transition in his life, as he continues figuring out his new relationship to these identities and communities. 

Growing up in a conservative environment in Virginia, Lupin didn’t have many connections to queer or non-monogamous people. He faced racial discrimination as a Black man and bullying from other kids, the combination of which made it even harder to come out. 

After moving across the country to a more progressive environment, Lupin began to find queer, non-monogamous and more sexually open-minded communities. Nonetheless, the values of his family and community of origin continued to influence his way of being in these spaces. For example, the first time he filmed group porn scenes with Cliff Media, he was uniquely thoughtful about respect for performers’ enthusiastic consent, a value and habit he attributes to his mother. 

What Lupin refers to as “unburying yourself” to find the life that makes you feel most free and authentic can be a challenging, multi-layered journey, especially when different perspectives and identities in life complicate the process. But to this point, Lupin describes his new life as “the happiest he’s ever been” and invites you into the shared experience of discovering the freedom to be yourself. 

@Vanessacliff2