Take a longer shower (see below for more details) Bonus Episode! Whether you're studying, working, reading, sleeping, or unwinding after a long day, this immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No talking, no interruptions—just shower. Ignore the world.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show.

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Okay, so this is a bonus episode—⁠I am elongating Episode 2⁠, as it’s one of my most-played episodes. I got some requests to make it longer.

However, I’m afraid of replacing the longer shower file with the shorter episode (after some reading indicated that a change might tweak Spotify’s algorithm, which is out of my depth—or could annoy listeners by changing their favorite episode, which... not on my watch—"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

I’m playing it safe.

Before I go, I have to say—DMX has the greatest track named "Intro" of any genre. Bring me every album in existence that includes a track called "Intro," and DMX’s It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot will decimate it. That **** hits harder than "Get at Me Dawg."

And that’s all! We’ll see you back here on Saturday.

Sink back into ten hours of uninterrupted lo-fi ambience featuring summer sounds, drifting melodies, soft textures, and nostalgic vinyl pops. Whether you're studying, working, reading, sleeping, or unwinding after a long day, this immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No talking, no interruptions—just pure lo-fi relaxation. Ignore the world.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show

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OK, so this week we are packaging unheard summer sounds (mostly recorded on Martha’s Vineyard) into a lo-fi, crackly reframe. But I wouldn’t call the sounds leftovers—and this isn’t a podcast equivalent of a clip show. I’d prefer thinking of this episode as a new contextualization of unused summer elements.

While it may be fall (ish), there are no iconic fall sounds occurring outside yet—it’s still hot AF in the Mid-Atlantic.

There’s another reason; this is the time of year (in the 90s) when I would engorge on new hiphop. 

Wait, what—

Lace up your acceptable amount of beat-up Air Force Ones and let’s walk back through the 90s. Back on a college campus, eating junk food and shooting the **** with friends. One lady kicked me in the face with some Air Max 96s… wonderful times the 90s.

Anyway, early fall was when I swapped summertime DJ mixtapes with friends. So, a Clue Summertime Shootout for a Premiere Crooklyn Cuts, an Air Alert for a Kool Kirk, DJ EV/ Stretch Armstrong for Ron G, et al.

These mixtapes were flush with new tracks—sometimes weeks before they blew up on hiphop radio (which we didn't have in Vermont anyway). Often our favorite artists (Method Man, Busta Rhymes...) would be included, giving DJ shoutouts—or better yet, exclusive freestyles.

Swifties, imagine grabbing a tape from a laundry spot or streetwear place—let’s say it is Country Master Flex’s new mixtape. And that tape has new and exclusive Swift material scratched and chopped and sold on a TDK cassette. That sounds fire, right?

Mixtape DJs sprinkled their cassettes with turntable skill, iconic shouting, and particular charms. DJ Premier was scratch-heavy (deftly so) and often historical in his framing, one mix included the first recorded emcee battle—Kool Moe Dee v. Busy Bee (the link is for Primos portion of 5 Deadly Venoms a mixtape that is absolutely worthy of its hype).

Other DJs had their thing—Tony Touch was the exclusive freestyles guy, DJ Clue had charisma and the hottest new tracks.

And at the start of a college semester: fresh Wu-Wear tee and Fubu jeans, flush with that new summer hiphop in a fall reality... I felt like a fresh collegiate Aristotle (only stupid).

Finally, i would like to apologize to the DJs who spun on 90.9 FM WCDB Friday nights in the late 90s. I hated on y'all at times.

To me y'all could get too excited about the "Chikka-chikka"—making an absolute meal out of every verse. Sometimes microscopic scratch-rewinds highlighting bare syllables.

Example: There was a track by Frankie Cutlass featuring Keith Murray where Murray spits, “from the Secaucus Mountains to the African Sea, not near ************ want to **** with me.” And one WCDB DJ played with that line forever. It was Secaucus Mountains for three solid minutes. Sometimes letting the song wander in a minute, then a splashy backspin would deposit us back at “the Secaucus Mountains.” My gawd man! Play the track!

I tried to look up the Secaucus Mountains in an encyclopedia (book, it was the 90s, no Google) just so I could cast some damnation at what I thought were actual New Jersey mountains... Is it a New Jersey inside joke? (I did not plan to slander Jersey two weeks in a row)—

...and I would listen to the **** out of a 1990s WCDB DJ now. If anyone knows of any old WCDB DJs who recorded their sets, please send links. I was wrong!

We're giving Roscoff, France a microphone on a summer afternoon. Enjoy French traffic, French talking! French birds! Whether you're studying, working, reading, sleeping, or unwinding after a long day, this immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No commercials, no interruptions—just Rue Amiral Réveillère. Ignore the World.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show

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You will hear local birds, traffic, voices, and other sounds from Mid-Afternoon Rue Amiral Réveillère (the primary central street in the old port district of Roscoff, France). Thanks to my twin for recording during a recent research trip to the Brittany region of France. She stayed at an inn a short walk from Roscoff’s port and, while out, left a microphone in the window.

Because my twin was a short walk from the Vieux Port de Roscoff, which serves Île de Batz, you will hear extra activity affected by ferry schedules. As an aside—to grab the ferry you have to take a long footbridge that leads directly into the Atlantic, no platform, just a ramp that deposits you directly into the ocean.

What to do for Episode description this week? Like I could try to retell the entire Roscoff history or write something silly. 

And so I looked at a map—my eyes immediately darted east to Jersey (the British Crown Dependency Island off the coast of NW France).

I salivated over the easy writing assignment of taking shots at something with "Jersey" in its title. Because of course Jersey, we talked about Jersey in the White Castle episode (NEW Jersey). North Atlantic (USA) mockery of New Jersey is low-hanging fruit and I enjoy an easy time tapping out a banal missive. So I searched online like: "hey, did anything strange happen on that island called Jersey?"—OMGWTFNVM—

Let's talk Roscoff—There’s a famous French onion, Oignon de Roscoff—an onion that purportedly arrived to the region by way of a traveling Capuchin monk named Brother Cyril. He was returning from Lisbon and probably had the seed in his pocket—I’m positive monks had pockets in 1647.

Ok, I looked it up, there is evidence of a handmade fanny pack 6000 years ago—being worn by some prehistoric guy named “The Iceman.” (To be a known person of history that lived over half a decamillennium ago and still get the moniker “The Iceman...” So cool. You know some men and women live forever in infamy—this pre-Austrian gentleman had a fanny pack and is known as “The Iceman.”)

Pouches started being woven into clothing more recently (within a few centuries) because fanny packs were noticeable targets for thieves. I’m imagining Peaky Blinders versus the ****** Iceman. The Iceman had a bone awl in his fanny pack—think of an icepick carved from animal bone. “You want my dried tinder fungus you weird (but stylish) hat mother*******?! Talk to bone awl!!!” Ba-BLOW

And voilà, Brother Cyril could have had a pocket with an onion seed ultimately leading to the culinarily significant Oignon de Roscoff.  (Maybe he had a suitcase... When were suitcases invented?)

And that is where I will stop trying to parse agricultural history—I am unequipped for onion significances. I did find a blog of a lady who shouts “bonjour” at Roscoff residents to get candid photos (and has an Oignon de Roscoff recipe that looks delicious) — she speaks highly of Roscoff onions.

My best onion take is that red onions are vastly overrated. Like you’re not getting points with me because you’re usually in every hoagie I love and you’re the sexiest element in an Olive Garden salad.

Night-time insects of late summer with some added texture and sporadic notes. Spend the night in the backyard! Whether you're studying, working, reading, sleeping, or unwinding after a long day, this immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No talking, no interruptions—just late summer bug chatter. Ignore the World.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show

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It’s our third installment of late summer sounds from my backyard. The main audio was recorded over the last weekend in August. As this episode is the third installment of “A Dying Summer’s Suburban slumber,” I’ve gone rogue and added some texture and other elements. I’ve got a bunch of naked night bug episodes—as in no sound (this is a family show).

To me the bugs are always more fun when the temperatures get lower and affect the frequency over the night. With the weather as warm as it has been, the bugs are naked and loud.

Speaking of naked, I have been thinking of Lee Iacocca—look, I probably needed two more paragraphs to segue between nude insects and the former businessman (and Snoop Dogg commercial co-host—**** that could have been my segue).

What would Lee Iacocca make of our current world? No, kidding WGAS—sing out loud “Lee Iacocca… made some cars” to the tune of “Jeremy” by Pearl Jam and now you have the same tic as me!

“Jay-EE-AR Tolkien, wrote some books” also works.

Gawd, I had to read Lee Iacocca in high school… I skimmed about as much as I could stand, and bull****ed my way through the report. Iacocca’s book cover (swagger) was presented to empty Chick-O-Stick wrappers and the other gunk at the bottom of my book bag most of the time it was in my possession.

And to continue the household brand name theme— I don’t give a **** about transitioning properly! Let me tell you about one of the first internet fandom-fueled movements I remember.

It was late 1996 and I was a college dip****. Sophomore year, Redman’s Muddy Waters forever in my cassette player. Slothing around a snowy Vermont campus in baggy jeans, XXL Pure Playaz t-shirts. It was almost time to return home for Christmas—my dad cryptically mentions over the phone that he would be sending me back after the holiday with enough breakfast for the final semester.

“What?”

Dad explained he was in possession of a multitude of Unfrosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts value packs. And I would be inheriting most of them. “Awesome.”

My father fluctuated between bemused and proud of my sister's advocacy—while lording over a stockpile of breakfast sweets. Apparently, my younger sister had been part of SOS, a group of online Sailor Moon fans not happy with Sailor Moon syndication time slots in the United States. The distributor planned to shutter production (adaptation and dubbing for American audiences) because the show wasn’t performing well.

And the SOS decided rather than boycott something to save their new favorite show, SOS would stage a procott on a day in December 1996 to display their purchasing power. They chose Unfrosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts and the campaign made waves. 

I don’t know the ramifications of what SOS accomplished overall, but Sailor Moon is still in the zeitgeist and I got a lot of Pop-Tarts.

PS: Homage cover art this week inspired by Iron Nest, a video game that gives you the keys to an early 1900s Metal Gear with Myst vibes and a fantastic liminal space to inhabit. Plus, their cover art rocks—not an ad, just fanboy ****. PPS: It is a game about a fictional war, and while war runs counter to the philosophy of this podcast... I haven’t felt like I was back in Myst since Riven, and I stunk at Riven.

A liminal breakfast adventure, a happy smiling bacon morning. This week is all about the sizzle, morning birds and a dash of drift. Whether you're studying, working, reading, sleeping, or unwinding after a long day, this immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No talking, no interruptions—just jolly breakfast vibes. Ignore the World.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show

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And the bacon doesn’t need to be pork. It could be turkey, tofu—do they make chicken bacon? Whatever, it’s your pan frying for ten hours. Actually, let’s not think about fire hazards. Let’s think of a magic space where cooking times are extended and you are presumably not hoping to eat anytime soon. A place that hovers with promise and good vibes. It’s a happy smiling bacon morning.

And that’s all I got! Oh—you will no doubt remember that over the last month I made the decision to call myself “Mr. Ambience” and changed my creator name to “Mr. Ambience.” Then, a few days later, I checked online to see if anyone else had staked out that name. To think of all the words I typed about longing for “Mr. Ambience” when I could have done a cursory search. Like when you squeeze an avocado and it just feels right. “Mr. Ambience” felt ripe…

I feel like I should punish myself by taking a cold shower or signing up for a local Glass Clinkers public speaking event. I forget that group’s name—actually, if it’s a cult, never mind my bringing it up.

Look, when you squeeze a metaphorical avocado and the metaphorical avocado is like: “Mr. Ambience, is peak.” That’s a phrase, right? I feel like I heard my kid say that about avocados in salads.

So I quickly shifted to something else I know: military school. I was a lieutenant in charge of the laundry room at my military school (because I was unsat and my parents spent a lot of money at that school). Lieutenant Ambience. It’s not a full avocado squeeze or anything… yet it might be something Forest Gump would say before pitching himself off a boat.

Then I asked myself, do I really want to be the private of the officer class? I might not be a “General Ambience,” but I’m sure as **** at least a colonel of ambience. So I spent a day as “Colonel Ambience.”

A buddy messaged me, “the name is silly, for sure. And I doubt anyone would claim an ambience channel was stealing valor.” And so “Kernel Ambience” it is! It gives my creator name a sheen of authority while not being authoritative… Which… is still hinting at possibly stealing valor (with popcorn). I could probably fight it out over Lieutenant Ambience—they gave me a sword! I commanded a laundry room!

What about Doctor? I am not a doctor—closest I came to medicine doer was when I tried to use a chisel without a hammer. Don’t use a chisel with just your weight, and don’t have your other hand in the path your trying to make…

But I could still be Dr. Ambience, right? I mean, don’t tell me you forgot about Dre?

PS: Quick housekeeping—next week we will have our annual “Dying Summer Suburban Slumber” episode, featuring an evening/night suburban backyard recording that includes the denizens of late-summer critter noise. Last year, we were in Central Ohio.

I extended the basketball episode (2024). It is one of my favorite episodes for sleep. However, the issue was that I would fall asleep, and due to episode length, I would wake up in a thunderstorm episode.

If y’all have any other shorter episodes you’d like to see extended, let me know.

Mars Rover adventure! Take a long-distance journey over a smooth-ish Martian terrain with a lovable Mars Rover. This week’s episode uses some real Martian Rover sounds (and some simulated) with wind, static, and interplanetary drift. Whether you're studying, working, reading, sleeping, or unwinding after a long day, this immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No talking, no interruptions—just red planet vibes. Ignore the World.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show

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For this week’s episode, we will (fictionally) tap into the microphones of a Mars Rover and listen in as it takes a long journey across the surface of the planet named after the Roman god of war. And I can tell by that wind-up that this episode description is going to get daff. Save yourselves.

Ooph, before I continue, I know I have been going on and on about renaming myself Mr. Ambience the last two weeks—I did rename myself Mr. Ambience, much to my wife’s chagrin. Then I did a search for “Mr. Ambience,” and some person has already staked out that name… Which will make my wife laugh because she thought the name was ridiculous.

I thought maybe I could try “Not Mr. Ambience,” but that reads agro to my ears. Dr. Ambience would be great… unfortunately, I am not a doctor. I did assist a professor once by helping them move into a new apartment—does Assistant Professor Ambience sound feasible? I should workshop this offline—

Because the fabulously windy and otherworldly red surface calls to us. So we must rove. It’ll be the great American road movie, just not a film and not in America or on the planet.

Look, I (conveniently) chose fictionalized Mars Rover movements. This allows me to play with sounds that would be inaudible on the surface of Mars (at least distant sounds, more below) and add boops and beeps (because people love that ****). It also allows me to do something more fun with the metal wheels. You can hear them in the Perseverance Rover driving highlights from NASA (imagine rocks rolling in lobster pots).

I included the actual Mars Rover sounds (NASA/JPL-Caltech/LANL/CNES/CNRS/ISAE-SUPAERO) in this ambient construction, but they are mostly dialed back.

I want to mention that sound works differently on Mars because of a range of factors. And you shouldn’t trust me to be right about that; I was a communication major.

Ambient audio on Mars behaves differently because of the planet's extremely thin, cold atmosphere and its composition. Lower frequencies travel farther, while high frequencies dissipate more quickly.

I point this out so you know I held this reality while designing this week’s episode, and (thoughtfully) breached the ****. I don’t know why I feel like Carl Sagan would want to get me for being wrong. Honestly, whenever I’m talking about space with my kids, in the back of my mind Carl Sagan is disapproving. Look at me mentioning Carl Sagan more in this week’s episode than our episode about the Golden Records (shout out to Carl Sagan).

…And so, to deflect from my uncomfortability with trying to explain science in the first place—I am now definitively saying that low frequency is KING on Mars. For the Elysium Planitia music festival I’m planning [airhorn], there will be no Captain & Tennille or Jeffrey Osborne (bc no one would hear anything).

So... introducing the 2027 Elysium Bass Festival (we’ll be using influencers but not Ja Rule): 95 South, the Quad City DJs, and DJ Magic Mike is the headliner.

Episode cover includes an image from NASA.

Sit in an enclosed bathroom for ten hours. It’s just you in a tiny room with a bath, the fan, and some drift. Whether you're studying, working, reading, sleeping, or unwinding after a long day, this immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No talking, no interruptions—just pure bath in its own tiny bathroom vibe. Ignore the world.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show

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So, for my wife’s birthday, I took her to a boutique hotel with a small, fancy room with a bath inside of the overall bathroom so she could read and enjoy the quiet. I did not record during that time. We went downstairs to the restaurant, and that is when I set up the mic in the fancy little bathroom inside the bigger bathroom. (Also, I don’t want to ruin any illusion in regards to this episode—but no water was wasted.)

Speaking of my wife—I told her that in last week’s episode description I jokingly referred to myself as “Mr. Ambience.” And she was like, “That’s stupid.”

It started as a throwaway line and meandered into my heart.

Oh, while we’re on last week’s episode, which is awesome and you should pop over here. But we were talking about Pat Conroy, and I got to thinking: in another universe, Pat Conroy could have wound up in the NBA. He was a talented baller (and even once shared the court with Mr. NBA Logo Silhouette, Jerry West) if he hadn’t been moved around so much as a kid (see his also very good book My Losing Season).

Mr. Ambience. I like it. Makes me feel like I have a walking cane and a monocle—that I’m some kind of dapper son of a *****. That is Mr. Ambience. I bet if I were strolling the boutique hotel, swinging around a walking stick like I didn’t need it, focusing my monocle on railroad stocks and chatting aloud about my cottage on Lake Conemaugh, the staff would call me Mr. Ambience.

Oh, I (Mr. Ambience) have a quandary this week. I know I can’t be the only person who, sans any floss, got a piece of fingernail stuck between their teeth because, yeah, no dental floss. And you go from uncomfortable with food particle pressure and wedge a ****** fingernail in there too.

POP OFF ten hours of uninterrupted bubbles and assorted popping. Chill vinyl pops, soda pops, popcorn, bubbles, and a dash of drift. Whether you're studying, working, reading, sleeping, or unwinding after a long day, this immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No talking, no interruptions—just pure poppin' vibes. Ignore the World.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show

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As I was working on the title for this week’s episode, I kept thinking of a comedic moment from media that I couldn't place... maybe cartoons? Where a doofus character keeps obnoxiously shouting “POP OFF!”

Oh, where are my manners? Welcome back to the section no one pays attention to. The uncommon ambience episode description! I am Mr. Ambience.

What? Do you want me to write up some immersive episode description? I have assembled a collection of popping sounds for ten hours—I don’t think anyone wants to read an old doofus' poetic affectation. "You are in a null space and in front of you is a soda bottle, if you drink it you will float..."

I would rather be inane in here. When I turned 23, I decided my ultimate mission on earth was to achieve the pinnacle of dumb. Not stupid, I like dumb. Dumb is low stakes—simultaneously funny and unfunny. The Tao of Dumb—thats what I wanted and still strive for. And that’s not to say I like that 23-year-old me. I’ve seen postings on LinkedIn, “I wish I had a Time Machine to go back and tell my younger self, you're ok…” Like that might work for virtuous people—if I had access to my younger self, I would slap the **** out of me. It’d be Looper without murder or hovering motorcycles.

“POP OFF!” What cartoon or movie was that from? And then it came to me—like seeing someone pushing an expensive stroller, and you peek in for the cuteness and there’s a ****** dog. Or a plastic baby.

I’m thinking of Pat Conroy’s The Lords of Discipline.

“POP OFF” was what the cadre shouted at freshmen when they wanted freshmen to speak... while hazing them at the Carolina Military Institute.

If you want to read a visceral horror novel masked as a not particularly compelling mystery (Conroy tells us about the guy who would have evidence on “the ten” early in the book and only a betrayal would force the main character to seek it, mystery solved)—read The Lords of Discipline. And I don’t want to undersell the mystery aspect of the book, because it isn't the star. The institution is the star (and i suspect a trauma dump from the author).

If Anton Chigurh was an institution of higher learning...

The Carolina Military Institute lashes out at those who question it. In the story, the protagonist recalls approaching his dorm during his freshman year, where his orientation leaders are waiting for him at a table. He’s a new student and has some questions about what to do after checking in—and is punched for asking.

It’s a horror novel. Imagine enrolling in a 1970s-era South Carolina military college (that’s just getting around to integration) and the ruthless hazing that awaits. This is old school military school terror.

Conroy is a favorite author of mine. He gives such a lush rendering to his scenes. The spaces he describes are immersive, making it all the more jarring when transitioning from the opulence and architectural beauty of South of Broad to the engulfing ick of hazing in a scalding-hot shower room.

We’re heading into spooky season, so if you want to be traumatized this fall, pick up The Lords of Discipline. (A better title would have been, Don't Tell Mom the Institute Murdered Me).

PS: If you’re looking for a tenuous 90’s hiphop connection to this week’s episode (that’s fun and won’t traumatize you) check out Bubblin’ by CRU.

7/28 Thunder! Pack your umbrella for ten hours of uninterrupted severe weather (with drift and drums). So if you dig rain, percussion, thunder, a little bit of vinyl hiss paired with wind, this episode is for you. Whether you're studying, working, reading, sleeping, or unwinding after a long day, this immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No talking, no interruptions—just pure summer storm energy. Ignore the World.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show

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And just FYI, this one starts quiet and builds to the deluge. I toned down the thunder, so it's all rumbles—no jump-scare stuff. This Mid-Atlantic thunderstorm was recorded on 7/28 in my thunderstorm recording studio (my dreadful, much-repeated dad term for "shed").

As with many people, I have a personal relationship with severe weather. Gawd, what a terrible sentence. Why does everything need a setup? I mean, we do this: "Hark, I have poetry in my setup, and now I may list my bonafides." Can't just start listing a bunch of named storms and then, "I was there, man."

I have some experience with Mother Nature's power. Hurricane Hugo in Camden, SC (1989), Hurricane Bob in Edgartown (1991), and Snowmageddon on a D.C.-area highway. Snowmageddon, for me, was eight hours to get from Rosslyn to Ashburn, and around the halfway point I got out on the toll road and took a pee in front of everyone.

Hell, I was even in a derecho, and WTOP retweeted a few of my photos (so exciting). I like severe weather.

Actually, I like the moments leading up to severe weather. It's like the lift hill of a roller coaster—it builds excitement (and is my favorite part because it's slow).

When I got a weather alert on my phone telling me to take shelter... I didn't do that. I ran to the shed with a microphone.

Then I came back into the house and took a shower.

No, I'm kidding. Yeesh, now that I look it up on Reddit... taking a shower during a thunderstorm could be a bad idea. Apparently some dude was zapped unconscious while showering in a golf clubhouse.

Quint's lament. This week we have ten hours of uninterrupted waves from Menemsha (recorded here), with Jaws vibes. I imagined the fictional Amity fishing community coming to grips with the unfortunate events of 51 years ago (and how that would audibly work out as a soundscape). So: mild melancholy and chill thrills.

This immersive ambient soundscape provides the perfect background soundtrack. No talking, no interruptions—just pure Menemsha waves, familiar note combinations, and drift. Ignore the world.

Enjoying the sounds? Tap the 5-star rating button on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help support this independent show

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I spotted candy corns for sale at my local grocer. I’m calling it—summer is over. I said something to that effect to my wife on a recent trip to the supermarket. Her look was incredulous, with a hint of middle finger. “It’s July.”

“Sure… late July,” I corrected. “Very late.” (I left unsaid, "Eggnog will be on sale soon.")

My wife was wearing her Quint-themed baseball T-shirt we picked up last year while watching the MV Sharks versus the North Shore Navigators. It was the Jaws 50th Anniversary game—the teams had been renamed for the promotion: the Amity Sharks versus the Quint Navigators. And, as with the film, the Quint Navigators went down swinging (they lost).

Look—I’m trying to explain how I decided to use my Menemsha beach recording from this year. I had my 3 a.m. waves a few weeks back, but folks didn’t seem too jazzed on just waves. So I got the idea in the supermarket pasta aisle to add some Jaws homage to the composition. After all, I have recordings from Quint’s base of operations.

Menemsha is a real fishing village and looks so convincingly fisherman that all the movie needed to do was aim a camera at it to establish Quint’s fisherman bona fides.

My wife loves Quint; her "movie character" crush. And I get it, the character is Charles Bronson of the ocean.

If the Gorton’s Fisherman was Matlock, Quint would be Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (if Ace Ventura had survived a horrific shark attack in the Pacific).

PS: I wrote this after a very long day... And this is our second Jaws themed episode. Also the Gorton’s Fisherman can go hard AF.