Early morning (3-6am) bird chatter ambience — So I live in a metropolitan area within a town next to a highway… 

Actually let me start a different way; what we perceive individually as silence, is nowhere near reality. I’ve learned this having stupidly rushed to interesting natural sound-makers like brooks and falls, only to realize later these sound-maker’s proximity to vehicular traffic, tarnished my recordings.

When I recorded in the Mad River Valley (Vt) last year I found a few stunning waterfalls cascading delightfully. The bustling fall leaves and their aromas filling the air, the gushing of clean water moving naturally. I would embarrass myself on a naked and alone program, but I can still appreciate spaces like this. 

I recorded it all with my microphone. And when I listened later I was downcast, I never perceived the cars rushing by twenty feet away. RVs and motorcycles, and small trucks — they were loud as ******* hell. ****** us as a species--

All of this to say that I would love to hand you something that might have been recorded on the Sound of Music mountain with my Mid-Atlantic bird buddies, and only that. Alas, there will be some far off vehicular stuff joining our feathery friends (it’s not too bad I just wish this was more Jack London than Jack ****** Handey).

Speaking of Jack London, I’m not entirely sure what birds we are hearing. In recent days I have seen a red bird and then shouted “OMG, we have a Cardinal!” and days later saw a blue bird and “OMG, we have Blue Jays!” I saw a Robin too but didn’t shout “hey, everyone, the ubiquitous bird!”

Sound off in the comments if you are an ornithologist (Throw your hands in the sky!)! What are these birds? Have you ever set up a 50-foot-net? Do you make bank?  

Original Photo used in episode cover by Physical Pixel

Waterfall, pink noise, ambience. Go ahead and chase waterfalls for eight hours, you may feel better. You may feel better if — is irregardless a legit word? I had beans for breakfast.

Godfather 3 stormy kitchen ambience — “Just When I Thought I Was Out, They Pull Me Back In!” We’re back at the movies and in a kitchen after a bloody helicopter attack. It’s stormy, and dinner is happening, and everything feels tense because everyone almost just died (this scene).

I am a Godfather 3 apologist. Aside from how awesome the sound design is in this and the other trilogy films, I love the exploration of a man who tries to emancipate himself from his own cruel and ruthless past. Especially when we are talking about a man who is one the of scariest characters in film.

Yes, Godfather Part III feels like the Godfather movie Brian De Palma secretly made… Yes it is a tremendous jump from the cold and cunning Michael to suburbanite-ish Michael. 

These movies are horror films, they invite us into some pretty grim places. A missteps here could lead to a grisly end. You might go for a fishing trip in the fading sunlight when a gun appears from off screen. Beautifully wrapped pastries are dangerous. Somehow toll booths can become more sinister. Someone in the trilogy winds up sleeping with a disembodied horse head.

Who do you even root for in the Altobello v. Connie v. cannoli?

Psh—why am I even getting apologist? I love Godfather Part III and not just because of that Mobb Deep banger.

This week I had my own “they’re pulling me back in” moment after having a copy/ paste issue between Premiere and After Effects (CC2025). Having long ago worked in tech support for non-linear editing compositors, I suddenly found myself back trying to diagnose my own issue. Because Adobe does not give a ****.

Adobe has created a bubble for themselves, they can make drastic changes in program behaviors, and unless you have some special tiered support package you will have no way of contacting these ******** but for a Lord of the Flies reddit wannabe where users answer questions for digital badges. I’m mixing my movie metaphors—Adobe Community… let the fans sort it out for themselves like Mary and Vincent? Actually strike that too. ZAAAAAASAAAAAA

Rain on a pot ambience — Ok so it got cloudy out and I checked my weather app — and that **** said rain and I wanted to try another pot in the yard experiment... So I put a microphone under a lobster pot and ran (because it was raining). So if you walked by my house the other day, that is why there was an upside-down lobster pot on the sidewalk.

The resulting sounds are pretty interesting, so much so that Spotify initially thought I was trying to sneak music onto their podcast app and smacked it with a violation. Fortunately after appeal we are back. (Also -- Spotify's customer service is astronomically better than adobe's — had to go through both this week)

“What’s this?!” She gestured widely to the sink stacked with most of our pots and pans.

“Oh, yeah…” I had awoken late having disabled my alarm for a laissez faire, let the Earth (or my bladder) wake me, morning. I hadn’t left a note and I can see now that I had inadvertently breached the dishes-need-to-be-done-now sink coverage.

“No wonder your daughter has been hiding in her room all morning,” she said, apparently realizing the same thing.  

“It was just an experiment, they’re not, too dirty.”

“An experiment? Then why didn’t you put them all back in the cabinet?”

“Well…” I obviously couldn’t tell the truth. There wasn’t a “sorry” powerful enough to follow explaining how all of her Williams-Sonoma were positioned in the mud and grass so I could set up my microphone to record the rain pattering all over them. “…just an experiment.”

“Were you cooking… pasta?” 

“No.”

“Then why is my new sauce pan dirty?”

“It’s…”

“When did we buy a wok?” 

With apologies to Ann Peebles and fellow Virginian Missy Elliot; I can stand the rain against my window, it does not haunt me. Get on my window oh moderate rain for eight hours.

Star Trek: The Original Series — we’re on TV this week and on our way to Sector Z-6 to breach the neutral zone and travel into the Romulan Star empire. But first we cruise… As we try not to think about someone possibly taking a dump on the other side of the view screen. (Whaaaat?)

So as I was doing research for building the TOS Enterprise bridge (Photoshop and After Effects) — I ran across a blog that ponders whether the bridge itself is rotated 36 degrees. So the folks on the bridge face 36 degrees port. What, why? 

The blog includes a blueprint of the Enterprise bridge that shows not only is the bridge looking to the port side of the Enterprise, there is a toilet just to the right of the view screen. If you’re sitting on the toilet you will be the only person facing the front of the ship.

Just process that, presumably someone was relieving themselves as the Enterprise initiated first visual contact with the Romulans. And that dude or lady was seated facing the actual front of the ship. Presumably when the Enterprise fights General Chang in the Battle of Khitomer, someone could have been relieving themselves as the ship was pummeled with torpedoes and Shakespeare. As the crew looked for signs of a cloaked ship in the view screen, someone just to the right could have been dropping off a ****. Amazing.

And I know the later example is a new Enterprise and maybe the powder room isn’t in the same spot. Let me have this. CRYHAVOOOOC

Theater projection booth ambience — the feature film is Five Minutes to Live from 1961 and starring Johnny Cash and Ron Howard. This episode also includes just about everything else I loved of that era in theater and film. There will be the pre-movie sirens call for Lobby refreshment and money back guarantees for those who have gotten too much suspense from Hitchcock’s Homicidal. And some Gregory Peck greats as we’re treated to trailers for Guns of Navarone and On the Beach (which still feels pretty fresh for our turbulent world, unfortunately).

Take a mental break in the projection booth… Just don’t forget to look out for the cue dots.

This episode’s cover uses an original photo by Diego Ramirez.

New washing machine, normal wash setting. And hey, this is a sequel of sorts to the ⁠infinity dryer episode a couple episodes ago.⁠ Our old washer/ dryer had to be replaced after a belt snapped. Our washer dry was so old it could remember when McDonald’s tried Pizza. There were only three Star Wars movies when our washer/ dryer were working on socks and sheets. 

I think I mentioned most of this in the last details. I’m really just typing until this episode description looks long enough to appear thoughtful. Your mind will just see these well fed paragraphs and be like this doofus is probably insightful but I’m not going to double check by reading anything. 

And what would there be to say aside from I stuck a microphone up to the washing machine window and pressed record? 

Oh! I do like the font, Capitana used on the episode cover, it has a really fun 80s feel that is really showcased in how it handles numerals — only other thing I have going on is the visual ambience channel on youtube (give us a subscribe)!

Watery whirring faucet machine — This week’s episode revolves around a mystery, but I promise it’s not made out of people. It’s just a whirring watery wonder.