Are You Protecting the Vibe? (Part 2)

On this episode of Unconsciously Competent, hosts Kash and Tahoe dive into a real and necessary conversation about intimacy, energy, and what it actually takes to maintain connection in relationships as life evolves.
What starts as a simple question, “Are you protecting the vibe?” unfolds into a deeper discussion around low libido, hormonal shifts, and the many factors that impact desire over time. From menstrual cycle phases and stress to the ways our bodies naturally change, Kash brings her expertise as a clinical sexologist to break down how biology, environment, and emotional dynamics all play a role in how we show up in intimacy.

Together, Kash and Tahoe challenge common assumptions and open up the conversation around something many people silently struggle with:
Is it hormonal… or is it relational?

This episode explores how awareness, communication, and understanding your partner’s evolving needs are key to sustaining connection, not just chemistry.
Because protecting the vibe isn’t about perfection…
it’s about intention, timing, and learning how to stay in sync even when things shift.

🎧 Stream the full episode at StayCompetent dot com
📺 Follow @UnconsciouslyCompetentPod
💭 Where Ignorance Meets Its Match


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/unconsciously-competent--6846281/support.

Are You Protecting the Vibe? (Part 1)
On this episode of Unconsciously Competent, hosts Kash and Tahoe dive into a real and necessary conversation about intimacy, energy, and what it actually takes to maintain connection in relationships as life evolves.

What starts as a simple question, “Are you protecting the vibe?” unfolds into a deeper discussion around low libido, hormonal shifts, and the many factors that impact desire over time. From menstrual cycle phases and stress to the ways our bodies naturally change, Kash brings her expertise as a clinical sexologist to break down how biology, environment, and emotional dynamics all play a role in how we show up in intimacy.

Together, Kash and Tahoe challenge common assumptions and open up the conversation around something many people silently struggle with:
Is it hormonal… or is it relational?

This episode explores how awareness, communication, and understanding your partner’s evolving needs are key to sustaining connection, not just chemistry.
Because protecting the vibe isn’t about perfection…
it’s about intention, timing, and learning how to stay in sync even when things shift.

🎧 Stream the full episode at StayCompetent.com
📺 Follow @UnconsciouslyCompetentPod
💭 Where Ignorance Meets Its Match


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/unconsciously-competent--6846281/support.

🎙️ Unconsciously Competent Podcast – Episode 7

Title: The Table Has Changed

On this episode of Unconsciously Competent, permanent hosts Kash and Tahoe are joined by guest co-host Chris for a timely and necessary conversation about the financial reality of relationships and households in 2026.

Using recent employment trends, cost of living pressures, and lived experiences as context, the discussion explores whether the traditional expectation of a single provider is still realistic for today’s average household. From shifting gender roles and economic instability to emotional labor and partnership dynamics, the conversation challenges long-standing beliefs about what it truly means to “bring something to the table.”

Rather than framing the topic as men versus women, Kash and Tahoe guide a collaborative dialogue around adaptability, accountability, and redefining teamwork in modern relationships. What does survival look like for low- and middle-income families right now? How are couples renegotiating responsibilities? And what happens when outdated expectations collide with present-day realities?

Through perspective shifts, real debate, and the signature Pick We segment, this episode pushes listeners to reconsider not just who should provide, but what the table actually requires for everyone to thrive.

Because growth sometimes starts when we stop arguing roles… and start responding to reality.

🎧 Stream the full episode at StayCompetent dot com
📺 Follow @UnconsciouslyCompetentPod
💭 Where Ignorance Meets Its Match

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/unconsciously-competent--6846281/support.

On this episode of Unconsciously Competent, the conversation shifts from theory to real-life love fast… and somewhere along the way, Kash starts cooking. We dive into love languages, not just what they are, but how they actually function in real relationships. Loving someone isn’t about memorizing categories, it’s about learning how to love in the ways you’re capable while stretching toward the ways your partner needs.

We talk effort. We talk intentionality. We talk about people saying “don’t give certain benefits before marriage,” and challenge that idea by asking a real question: If marriage is forever, shouldn’t you feel confident before you say “I do”? Life will test your relationship long before the altar does. Then the Pick We segment turns up: Valentine’s Day. Should men expect gifts and experiences too? Or is it a day reserved for women to be wined and dined? Tahoe argues for the women. Kash argues for the men. And the debate gets real about reciprocity, tradition, and evolving expectations.

This episode is about loving intentionally, communicating clearly, and entering commitment with confidence instead of hope. Tap in! StayCompetent.com

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/unconsciously-competent--6846281/support.

On this episode of Unconsciously Competent, the conversation shifts from theory to real-life love fast… and somewhere along the way, Kash starts cooking. We dive into love languages, not just what they are, but how they actually function in real relationships. Loving someone isn’t about memorizing categories, it’s about learning how to love in the ways you’re capable while stretching toward the ways your partner needs.

We talk effort. We talk intentionality. We talk about people saying “don’t give certain benefits before marriage,” and challenge that idea by asking a real question: If marriage is forever, shouldn’t you feel confident before you say “I do”? Life will test your relationship long before the altar does.

Then the Pick We segment turns up: Valentine’s Day. Should men expect gifts and experiences too? Or is it a day reserved for women to be wined and dined? Tahoe argues for the women. Kash argues for the men. And the debate gets real about reciprocity, tradition, and evolving expectations. This episode is about loving intentionally, communicating clearly, and entering commitment with confidence instead of hope.

Tap in! StayCompetent.com

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/unconsciously-competent--6846281/support.

In this episode of Unconsciously Competent, Kash, Tahoe, and Chris explore how tone, delivery, and emotional dismissiveness can undermine even the most valid messages. Using real panel clips as a case study, they break down the difference between intention and impact, and why people shut down when feedback feels harsh, threatening, or dismissive.

The conversation dives into the psychology and brain science behind communication, explaining how tone affects perception, how the brain processes threat versus learning, and why accountability, empathy, and awareness must work together for growth to happen. They also unpack why advice is often rejected, how identity plays a role in defensiveness, and what makes feedback land without losing honesty.

The episode features Pick We, the show’s signature segment, where perspectives are intentionally flipped. Hosts debate from opposing viewpoints to challenge binary thinking and help listeners understand how the other side experiences the same situation. If you’ve ever felt unheard, misunderstood, or frustrated trying to communicate something important, this episode offers clarity, insight, and tools to do it better.

🎧 New episode live now. 🔗 Visit StayCompetent.com for all platforms.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/unconsciously-competent--6846281/support.

Are we actually listening to each other, or just waiting for our turn to speak? In this episode of Unconsciously Competent, Kash and Tahoe dive into one of the most misunderstood parts of connection: the difference between hearing someone and truly understanding how a situation affects them. From relationships and accountability to co-parenting and emotional expression, this conversation breaks down why good intentions aren’t always enough.

This episode features a powerful Pick We segment where Kash and Tahoe reverse roles to debate a co-parenting scenario. Tahoe argues from the perspective of the primary parent and mother, while Kash takes on the father’s role. What starts as a conversation about whether a dad is “showing up” quickly reveals the deeper issue: two people who care deeply, but are speaking from completely different lenses. The real work isn’t about who’s right, it’s about how communication can miss the mark even when love and effort are present. They also explore how accountability isn’t just about saying “put it on me,” but about understanding impact, context, and what the other person has already processed before a conversation even begins.

 The episode touches on why men often simplify problems while women scan for surrounding context, and how those differences can either create distance or deeper understanding depending on how we respond. This is a conversation about growth, emotional intelligence, and learning how to listen without defensiveness or assumption. It’s honest, sometimes uncomfortable, often relatable, and designed to help you recognize where you are in your own learning process. Unconsciously Competent is the podcast where ignorance meets its match.

Watch, listen, and connect with us on all platforms at StayCompetent.com









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In this honest, hilarious, and heartfelt episode, Kash, Tahoe, and special guest Billy get into the complexities of identity, sexuality, and self-expression with humor leading the way. Billy shares what it means to call himself a “homophobic gay man,” using comedy to navigate his connection to the LGBTQ+ community while also critiquing its extremes. He shared his childhood experience of being SA’d that he feels gave him no option to be straight. 

Together, the trio explores topics like love bombing, attachment styles, discernment, and the lasting effects of childhood trauma, including Billy’s own experiences of sexual abuse and how they shaped his identity. They also unpack accountability styles, the fine line between sexuality and appropriation, and how public expressions of queerness and masculinity are perceived through different lenses.

From confronting double standards in gender and attraction to reclaiming pleasure and emotional clarity, this episode holds space for nuance, laughter, and liberation—with a surprise game of This or That and an empathy-filled Pick We debate you won’t want to miss.
 
Tap in, reflect, and laugh your way through a masterclass on owning your truth… even if it makes people uncomfortable.

Socials
Kasha
@Au_Natural38 on Instagram

Tahoe
@Tahoe_TV on Instgaram

Billy
@Billy.TheBadGuy on Instagram


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Welcome to the true birth of Unconsciously Competent Podcast! In this pilot episode, Kash and Tahoe unpack accountability, dating transitions, vulnerability in men, discernment in relationships, and the patience required to grow something real, whether that’s love, self-mastery, or a goal you refuse to quit on. The topics may feel familiar at times but the perspectives we share will shift you! 

Our pilot births our signature segment “Pick We”. One topic, two opposing arguments, and one rule that matters most… you can’t argue your own position. It’s about learning how the other side thinks, not proving you’re right.

When we sat down you wouldn’t believe it but we didn’t even have a name. After being held back long enough, we did the only thing that mattered. We sat down and talked. And began shaping the vision. 
You will get to hear the exact moment the name Unconsciously Competent was born, mid-conversation, proving that sometimes clarity comes after you start.

This episode was recorded in July 2023. Yes 2023! It’s January 2026 now… and somehow, it still arrived right on time. Along the road… Life lifed. Hard. Between parenting special-needs kids, running multiple platforms, navigating ADHD, grief, growth, and responsibility, consistency wasn’t always possible, but commitment never left the room. However Competence Collective, Unconsciously Competent didn’t launch late, it launched when we were ready. So while some references reflect the time it was recorded know that the true wisdom is timeless.

Ready to let your ignorance meet its match? Stay and grow with us! 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/unconsciously-competent--6846281/support.