In Jungian psychology, the dynamic between the victim complex and the saviour complex can be understood through the concept of psychological projection and the interplay of archetypes within the psyche.
Two wounded lovers are often going to find themselves unconsciously producing a relationship of co-dependency whereby they fall in love with the projection of their own shadows.
One common union we are likely to find that emerges from co-dependency is that of the victim and saviour complex relationship.
This is where the relationship is created and maintained on the basis of the projection of their own unintegrated shadow content.
Someone with a saviour complex is actively embodying and projecting outwards the shadow or the inversion of their own internal hero archetype. For this reason (and this is mostly in men towards the romantic projection of a woman) they believe they have to rescue the “damsel in distress”, they have to “save” her in some way or another leading themselves to be attracted towards the person who is embodying the victim complex through projection.
It is also the same the other way round for women. The individual who has a victim complex will be attracted towards the person who they see can rescue them rather than them rescuing themselves.
Ultimately, this is all coming from a place of internal lack, people projecting their own unmet needs onto other people without accountability which leads into the development of a mutually co-dependent, toxic relationship rather than a healthy interdependent relationship that has boundaries.
The difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship is the difference between co-dependence and interdependence.
You might be thinking as to why and how this all occurs?
The glue that binds this form of relationship is through what we can call projective resonance.
This is when two forms of projection merge together from two individuals who are seeking external desires that they believe the other individual can fulfil but cannot find fulfilment from oneself.
This ultimately forms the resonance or glue that binds the toxicity together through mutual fantasy.
Therefore, the personal insecurities that feel relinquished which maintain the relationship, which could be:
Fear of rejection, need for validation, desire for recognition, avoidance of conflict.
All masquerade as the binding glue for the “true love” they have fallen for which ultimately feeds the fantasy they are both in.
It isn’t that they are actually in love, but that they are instead using each other to try and heal their own personal insecurities which they both lack accountability for.
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