The Empowered Adoptee Podcast

Understanding Self-Sabotaging Behavior As Adoptees


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In this vulnerable episode, Laurie and Claire dive deep into the complex topic of self-sabotage, particularly among adoptees. We explore the subconscious strategies that lead us to undermine our own relationships and goals, often driven by fear and core wounds. Join us as we uncover the common triggers, patterns of behavior, and the beliefs that perpetuate self-sabotaging actions. More importantly, we discuss practical steps to change these behavior patterns and foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships.


What you will learn about self-sabotage:

  • Understanding the subconscious strategies we use to address unmet needs, which can ultimately harm our relationships.
  • Identifying feelings of abandonment, rejection, and core wounds linked to adoption experiences.
  • Recognizing fears of intimacy and vulnerability that lead to avoidance of deep connections.
  • Learning how to spot recurring negative behaviors and their origins in past experiences.
  • Examining core beliefs about self-worth and unfulfilled needs and how they fuel self-sabotaging behaviors.


Steps to Change Self-Sabotaging Behaviors:

  • The importance of self-reflection and mindfulness in recognizing triggers and patterns.
  • Developing skills to identify and process emotions, rather than avoiding them.
  • Strategies for learning that art of open communication about our needs, boundaries, trust, and vulnerability with others.
  • The value of joining support groups or adoptee led spaces which hold space for our adoption-related issues.
  • Practicing kindness towards oneself and celebrating progress in the journey toward change.



By understanding and addressing self-sabotaging behaviors, adoptees can pave the way for healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life. This episode offers both insights and actionable steps for listeners eager to transform their relational patterns and enhance their emotional well-being.


If you found this episode helpful, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving a comment on The Empowered Adoptee Podcast. Share this episode with others who may benefit from understanding and overcoming self-sabotage in their relationships! We love you and appreciate all of your support <3



If you would like to connect with us, you can find us here:

Website: https://www.theempoweredadoptee.com/
Facebook: The Empowered Adoptee 
Instagram: the.empowered.adoptee
Email: [email protected]




We would love to connect with you and hear from you! Please send us a text and share your story 💜

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The Empowered Adoptee PodcastBy Claire Magenheimer and Laurie Vogler

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