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'Know Thyself', this ancient saying encourages us to go in search of a deeper level of self-understanding - In today's episode we explore why knowing yourself matters in the context of relationships. Couples are often surprised that their partner 'changed' over time. One or two years down the line you may think that your partner is not the person you thought they would be. You may notice that they are not as patient, cuddly, understanding or present as you want them to be. The ideal partner from the honeymoon days seems to have disappeared. The disappointment with the partner frequently results in a mutual blame game. What many couples fail to acknowledge is their own perspective and their own expectations. It helps to know your own starting point. What are your thoughts about relationships? What do you expect from your partner? And how do you respond to disappointments?Your ideas about relationships have been formed over a long period of time, starting in your childhood. You would have learned how relationships work (or don't work) and you would have developed all sorts of ideas about other people and the world in general. There would have been some disappointments along the way and an unconscious desire to find the one person who can make everything alright for you. For example, if you struggle with low confidence you may wish for a partner who reassures you and makes you feel good about yourself. If you partner struggles to do this all the time, you may feel disappointed and over a long period of time you may get very frustrated.We often choose our partners (unconsciously) to heal old wounds from the past. We have expectations of our partner that may be realistic or may be completely impossible to meet. Bringing our wishes and expectations into our awareness can help us to articulate what it is that we need and enables us to review our expectations. Can your partner really over everything to you? Are there some expectations that may need reviewing?So, ask yourself, what you want and need from a relationship? How would you know that you are in the relationship that you need?

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