There are two Guardian teams in town, and no one is saying but one of them may be a fairly wealthy roller derby team. Yasiel Puig settled a civil suit to make sexual assault go away, dropped Rachel Luba, earned Defender of the Year in LMB, and wants back into MLB. We are thrilled that MLB teams will now provide housing for minor league players. Check that box and move on to fair pay. Clint Frazier is DFA’d which allows us to explain making room on the 40 man roster. The Mets gain a GM but lose an ace.

The annual Girls Breakthrough Series featured Bianca Smith, Veronica Alvarez, and maybe a path to college ball. Franmil Reyes won’t be playing with Pujols in LIDOM after all, but there’s still plenty of familiar faces. In the LVBP, recently DFA’d Willians Astudillo sucker-punches a pitcher, the Panda goes back to where it all began, and Ildemaro Vargas’ 4 RBI game lets Pottymouth teach us remolcadas as this week’s vocabulary word. (The other option is a little too racy for prom). The CPBL brings us Lion Elephant Battles. We say Political Opinions Above Replacement, tofurky, and Bob Dole.

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