note to self: don't drink, and hop on a YouTube live

idk though, sometimes I feel like AFTER a couple drinks: it's actually easier to say what I truly mean. we've heard this, but sometimes we still judge drinking....

so let me do my best to explain.

after a few drinks, I let go of some of my conditioning. Which obviously can be good and bad, but it allows me to jump straight to a thought (without always worrying about how it might sound, or how others might feel). Again this can be good, and bad.

If we're more open, though, and less strict (judgmental) with one another, I genuinely think the quality of thought and dialogue IMPROVES. It's when we want to be right, or feel like we HAVE to make "a point," that shit gets weird. In my experience.

Why can't some conversations have no point?

Why can't we do some things: purely for the "love of the game"

If a woman is cleaning, for example, and able to envision her ideal evening taking place... that's MOTIVATION. That's real.

We put a lot of pressure on the modern woman, to uphold traditional values WHILE keeping up with society (earning a degree, proving we can do all things ourselves, and don't need a man, etc.)

All I'm saying is it's sort of exhausting. And I think it can be TRUE that it feels better to work hard if you know what you're working TOWARD.

I think it's natural to feel discouraged and confused (despondent) if the path feels unclear, but I do think it helps to alleviate any assumption or pressure we might put on ourselves (or receive from society) that says our lives HAVE to look any particular way...

because the truth is: they don't

the truth is: how your life looks to another person... listen it's a faulty premise, it's an impossible notion

if another person has decided to be judgmental toward you, that's on them.

There isn't anything you can DO to shift this sort of an attitude once someone is determined to view you in a particular way. And let me tell you: most of the time people criticize, and speak poorly about you, there's probably something really true, and pure about you. There's probably a way that you exist, naturally, that intimidates or confuses that other person-- forces them to CONFRONT THEIR OWN LIMITS, because consciously or not: they wonder why they can't, or don't, move like you do

so this is why I love this law (God's) if it's true:

it isn't our job to judge one another.

Not only does it INSTANTLY solve about 9,000,000 problems, between people, it also saves us A TON OF TIME.

So: give yourself that grace.

Allow yourself the FREEDOM to admit what you don't know, so you can focus on what you DO know.

And "I want to feel happy, I want to experience peace" is a great place to start. If that's all you "know," honor that. Stop letting others convince you that pain, trauma, suffering and ABUSE are normal.

It will take time and effort to heal these patterns, but simply being aware that IF there is pain: there must also be peace,

joy

abundance

satisfaction--

you are worthy of all of these things.

love,

Winslow