Unfiltered with Roxy

🎙️ Unfiltered with Roxy – Episode 24:

Adult Friendships: Layers of Connection at a Big Age

Welcome to Unfiltered with Roxy!

Friendship isn’t just about fun nights out or sharing laughs, it’s about who shows up for you in the heavy, unglamorous moments. In this episode of Unfiltered with Roxy, I dive into what it means to build, keep, and grow friendships as adults, and why they matter so deeply for our well-being.

Episode Summary

Adult friendship can feel complicated. Between busy schedules, past wounds, and life transitions, many of us wonder why friendship feels harder now than it did when we were kids.

I share my own friendship journey, from situational friends as a young mom to the deep family and work friendships that carried me through grief and growth. I reflect on how watching my kids navigate friendships has taught me about loyalty, forgiveness, and resilience. And I highlight why making space for your own needs is the foundation of truly being there for others.

I also share personal stories, from reconnecting with old friends to how my morning self-care routine helps me show up better in relationships.

Lessons & Themes

• Friendship comes in many forms: neighbors, hobby buddies, family friends, coworkers, and lifelong confidants.

• True friends show up in both the joyful and the hard moments.

• Making space for your own healing and needs is essential for healthy friendships.

• Distance doesn’t have to end friendships, it just takes intention and effort.

• Growth means forgiving ourselves for past mistakes and choosing to show up better now.
  

Quote of the Day

“Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said ‘I’m here,’ and proved it.”

✨ Join me on the road to 1,000 subscribers on YouTube! ✨

I’m building a community of healing, growth, and unfiltered conversations. By subscribing, you’re not just helping me reach a milestone, you’re helping spread the message that real change starts with inner change. Hit subscribe and be part of the journey!

🎁 All subscribers are automatically entered into my monthly self-care giveaways as a thank-you for being part of this community (winners announced in the Community tab).

🌟 And when we hit 1,000 subscribers, one lucky subscriber will win the major giveaway: your choice of a 1:1 self-care coaching session OR a self-care basket.

Resources

• Lisa Whelchel – Friendship for Grown-Ups

• Shasta Nelson – Frientimacy

• Aminatou Sow & Ann Friedman – Big Friendship

• Dr. Rangan Chatterjee – Feel Better, Live More podcast, Ep. 177 + bite-sized episodes

• Unprocessed Podcast – “Should Our Friends Re-Mother Us?”

• Friend Forward Podcast – Danielle Bayard Jackson

• The Black Mother Wound Podcast – Episode #057

Connect with Me

• Podcast: Unfiltered with Roxy on Spotify
  

  
  

  
  

🎙️ Unfiltered with Roxy – Episode 23

Self-Compassion: The Freedom to Forgive Yourself and Grow

Welcome to Unfiltered with Roxy!

In this episode, we’re exploring the practice of self-compassion—why it’s more than self-care, why it’s not weakness, and how it can free us from shame, harsh self-talk, and the weight of unforgiveness.

🌈 Episode Summary

After a week of setbacks, from taxes and financial stress to perimenopause struggles, I realized what I needed wasn’t more grit or positivity—it was self-compassion. In this episode, I share my own story of procrastination, shame, and starting from zero, and how friends, faith, and research reminded me that the world is full of helpers and that kindness toward myself was the key to moving forward.

Together, we’ll explore five ways to practice self-compassion—rooted in psychology, spirituality, and lived experience—and why forgiving not only ourselves and others but even broken systems can release us into peace and growth.

✨ Key Lessons & Themes

• Be Kind to Yourself: Replace harsh self-talk with gentleness.

• We’re All Human: Sharing your story dissolves shame and builds connection.

• Feelings Are Signals, Not Definitions: Anger, sadness, and frustration don’t define you.

• Encouraging Self-Talk: Look at yourself through rose-colored glasses, not harsh lenses.

• Mind, Body & Spirit: Compassion is holistic—pray, rest, forgive, and nurture your whole self.

💬 Quote of the Day

“Self-compassion is the foundation of freedom. When we forgive ourselves, others, and systems, we make space for joy, love, and peace. In that space, we open the way to greatness and create the opportunity for exponential growth.” — Roxana Feenster

🎁 Road to 1K YouTube Challenge

I’m on the journey to 1,000 subscribers and 4,000 watch hours—but this is about more than numbers. It’s about:

• Changing our inner dialogue first,

• Then shifting how we show up in our circles,

• And ultimately transforming the world around us.

When we heal ourselves, we create ripples of healing everywhere we go.

🎉 To celebrate this milestone, I’m giving away a Self-Care Basket or a 1:1 Self-Care Plan Session.
👉 To enter: Subscribe, like, and share the podcast on Unfiltered with Roxy YouTube.

📚 Mentioned Resources

• Sanjana Gupta, Verywell Mind (2024): 5 Self-Compassion Exercises to Practice Daily (reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD; with insights from Stephanie Strauss).

• Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, Making Change That Lasts

• Unfiltered with Roxy_Self-Compassion Daily Practice Guide

🎙️ YouTube: Unfiltered with Roxy

📝 Blog: Unfiltered with Roxy on Substack

📸 Instagram: @RoxyUnfiltered

🎙️ Unfiltered with Roxy – Episode 22:

Unpacking the “Good Vibes Only” Myth: When Positivity Turns Toxic

Welcome to Unfiltered with Roxy!
In this episode, we’re diving into the world of toxic positivity—those shiny phrases like “good vibes only” and “just stay positive” that sound helpful, but can actually silence real emotions and keep us from healing.

🌈 Episode Summary

We’ll unpack why “good vibes only” isn’t always good, how suppressing emotions can backfire, and why embracing the full spectrum of feelings—sadness, anger, grief, even jealousy—leads to deeper growth and resilience.

I’ll also share my personal journey with loss and faith, explore how toxic positivity shows up on social media and in our everyday lives, and highlight expert insights from The Verywell Mind Podcast with therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, and Paralympic gold medalist Mallory Weggemann.

✨ Key Lessons & Themes

• • The Shiny Trap of Positivity: Why “good vibes only” exploded during COVID-19 and the hidden pressure behind it.
  • The Cost of Avoidance: Suppressed emotions always resurface—sometimes in meltdowns, sometimes in rage.

• Why Every Emotion Matters: Sadness, anger, and grief each serve a purpose in healing and transformation.

• Words That Heal: Swap dismissive clichés for validating language:

  • “Just stay positive” → “I’m listening.”

  • “Good vibes only” → “I’m here no matter what.”

  • “It could be worse” → “That must be really hard.”

  • “Happiness is a choice” → “Your feelings are valid.”

• Real Resilience: Healthy optimism says, “This is hard, but I trust I can get through it.” Toxic positivity says, “This isn’t hard at all, and you’re wrong for feeling it is.”

Quote of the Day

“Feeling sad doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human.”

🎁 Road to 1K YouTube ChallengeI’m on the journey to 1,000 subscribers and 4,000 watch hours—but this is about more than numbers. It’s about:

• Changing our inner dialogue first,

• Then shifting how we show up in our circles,

• And ultimately transforming the world around us.

When we heal ourselves, we create ripples of healing everywhere we go.

🎉 To celebrate this milestone, I’m giving away a Self-Care Basket or a 1:1 Self-Care Plan Session.
👉 To enter: Subscribe, like, and share the podcast on Unfiltered with Roxy YouTube.

• Verywell Mind: What Is Toxic Positivity?

• The Verywell Mind Podcast with Amy Morin & Mallory Weggemann

• Journaling practices (morning pages + prompts)

• Breathwork & grounding techniques

• 🎙️ YouTube: Unfiltered with Roxy

• 📝 Blog: Unfiltered with Roxy on Substack

• 📸 Instagram: @RoxyUnfiltered

#UnfilteredWithRoxy #ToxicPositivity #GoodVibesOnlyMyth #AllVibesWelcome #AuthenticLiving #EmotionalIntelligence #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay #MindfulnessMeetsPracticality

🎙️ Unfiltered with Roxy - Episode 21:

The Pivot: Why It’s Hard… But Necessary

Turning life’s unexpected detours into fuel for your dreams

Welcome to Unfiltered with Roxy!
In this episode, we’re diving into one of life’s most challenging realities — the pivot. Whether it’s a sudden job loss, a health crisis, or a relationship ending, pivots can feel like they shake your whole world. I’m sharing my own stories — from losing what I thought was my dream job to navigating my mom’s cancer diagnosis — and how these experiences taught me the value of dream time, self-care, and staying agile when life changes direction.

Episode Summary

From basketball “suicides” in high school to life’s own sprints and stops, this episode unpacks what it means to pivot with grace, faith, and purpose. I share why self-care is about more than bubble baths, how planning for your dreams keeps resentment at bay, and the hard truth that sometimes God ends a chapter before we’re ready.

Key Lessons & Themes:

• The Pivot is Inevitable: Change is coming whether you want it or not — your response determines your outcome.

• Dream Time Matters: Having big, audacious goals gives you something to work toward when disappointment hits.

• Self-Care as Preparation: Build a life that can bend without breaking — spiritually, emotionally, and practically.

• • Friendship & Relationship Shifts: Not every connection is meant to last forever, and that’s okay.
  • When God Closes the Door: Sometimes the grace for a situation runs out, and He’s moving you into something better.

  
  

• The Dream Time check List:

1. Write down 3 big dreams (keep them to yourself at first).

2. Break each into small, doable steps.

3. Put the first step on your calendar this week.

4. Set a small savings goal toward one dream.

Quote of the Day

“The pivot isn’t the end of the dream — it’s just the turn toward the next one.”

Mentioned Resources:

• My blog post on The Pivot

• Andrea’s wisdom on “dream time”

• Personal lessons from therapy on the inner child and self-worth

  
  

Let's Keep This Conversation Going:

If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share on YouTube to be entered into a giveaway for either a Self-Care Basket or a 1:1 Personalized Self-Care Plan.

🚀 Road to 1K + Giveaway

I’m on the road to 1,000 YouTube subscribers, and I’d love your support!
✅ Like
✅ Subscribe
✅ Share with a friend who needs this message today

💡 Giveaway Alert — When you subscribe, you’ll be entered to win:

• A 1:1 chat with me where I’ll create a personalized self-care outline for you
  OR

• A curated Self-Care Basket shipped right to your door

Let’s grow together — and keep pushing toward those big dreams.

🎙️ Unfiltered with Roxy - Episode 20: Beautiful Boundaries: Choosing Peace Over Chaos

Welcome to Unfiltered with Roxy! In this deeply personal episode, turning 48 has me in a super growth reflection mode. I’m sharing my journey of setting boundaries, reclaiming peace, and letting go—whether it’s with friendships, family, or my own habits.

Episode Summary

From navigating toxic friendships in my 30s and 40s to addressing misunderstandings with my adult children, this episode dives deep into what it takes to protect your joy and live authentically. I open up about why I’m no longer bending over backwards for relationships that drain me, the importance of honoring my time, and how I’m learning to release the guilt around putting my peace first.

Key Lessons & Themes

• Value Your Time: Your time is the one resource you can’t get back—protect it fiercely.

• Boundaries with Adult Children: Stop enabling drama, address temper tantrums with firm expectations, and refuse to be their emotional dumping ground.

• Mindful Living: Enjoy your meal, finish your work, or savor your outing before responding to interruptions.

• Healthy Space in Relationships: Forced togetherness doesn’t always foster closeness; small, intentional moments often do more.

• The Black Mother Wound podcast by Jennifer Arnise
• The Gift of Rejection by Nona Jones
• Dr. Caroline Leaf’s talk on Why Waiting for an Apology is Keeping You Stuck

Let’s Keep This Conversation Going

If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share on YouTube to be entered into a giveaway for either a Self-Care Basket or a 1:1 Personalized Self-Care Plan. I’m on the road to 1K followers—your support means the world! Share this with a friend or family member who could use some encouragement today, and don’t forget to leave a review.

🎙️ Unfiltered with Roxy – Episode 19:

Summer Mindfulness: Routines, Rituals & Growth

Welcome back to Unfiltered with Roxy! I’m your host, Roxana Feenster—and today we’re talking about how summer is the perfect season to reset, grow, and lean into the routines and rituals that support your best self. From early morning starts to connecting with nature, this episode is your reminder to soak up the sunshine—inside and out.

🎧 Episode Summary:This episode blends summer vibes with mindful living. I share my own routines, reflections, and favorite warm-weather self-care practices—from yard work and gardening to decluttering, breathwork, and stretching. We’ll talk about why perfection isn’t the goal, how to prioritize your peace, and the importance of showing up for your body, your community, and even the earth.

✨ In this episode, I talk about:

• The 5 a.m. club and why summer is a great time to try it

• Building routines when school schedules aren’t in the way

• The mood-boosting power of sunshine and outdoor movement

• Gardening, yard work, and decluttering as self-care

• Investing in yourself and your comfort—yes, buy the clothes!

• Why “I’m going to die anyway” is the worst excuse for neglecting your health

• Showing up for the planet with mindful, sustainable choices

• Summer as a season of exponential growth—for plants and people

• Rituals that keep you centered: breathwork, yoga, meditation, hydration

• Finding balance and staying consistent in your self-care practices

💬 Roxy’s Quote of the Day:

“Summer is exponential growth—plants, people, and peace. Stay consistent with what feeds you.”

🎁 Subscriber Love:

Thank you to everyone helping me on my road to 1K YouTube views! 💕 Your likes, comments, and shares keep me going.
✨ Like, subscribe, and share this episode to enter for a chance at a 1:1 Self-Care Chat or a Self-Care Gift Basket.

📌 Mentioned in this episode:

• Summer Mindfulness Blog on Substack

📸 IG: @RoxyUnfiltered
💌 Blog: Unfiltered with Roxy on Substack
🎧 Podcast: Unfiltered with Roxy on Spotify, Apple, YouTube & more

#UnfilteredWithRoxy, #SummerSelfCare, #MindfulLiving, #MorningRoutine, #RitualsThatHeal, #SeasonOfGrowth, #HealingInRealTime, #SelfCareJourney, #LifeInBalance, #PodcastLife

48 life lessons to live by 💫 Watch now & read the blog: https://roxanafeenster.substack.com

🎙️ Unfiltered with Roxy – Episode 18:

48ish Life Lessons at 48 - Part 3

Welcome back to Unfiltered with Roxy! I’m your host, Roxana Feenster—and in this final installment of my “48ish Life Lessons at 48,” I’m wrapping up the wisdom, reflections, and ah-ha moments I’ve collected over nearly five decades of life. If you missed Part 1 or Part 2, you can go back anytime—but today’s episode can stand beautifully on its own.

🎧 Episode Summary:

This episode is a deep, unfiltered walk through the final lessons of my 48th year—on love, growth, inner healing, faith, self-care, and the courage to keep showing up. From reparenting your inner child to dressing like you love yourself right now, we go there. If you're in a reflective season or looking for motivation to live with more intention, this is your sign to lean:

• Loving your body—all of it, even the soft parts

• Drinking your water (your brain, skin, and spirit will thank you)

• The power of kindness, journaling, and capturing breakthrough ideas

• Daily movement as a mood and mindset reset

• Letting your spiritual connection live beyond the church walls

• Loving your children at every stage (and enjoying your adult kids too!)

• Affirming your intelligence and bravery—yes, you’re wise!

• Grounding in nature and using the beach as healing medicine

• Making a list of what you want and what you won’t accept anymore

• Reconnecting with your inner child and celebrating them

• Taking radical responsibility: You are your own rescue team

• Understanding that challenges lead to growth

• Validating your feelings—yes, sometimes cussing helps 😅

• Protecting your energy and walking away from what's draining you

• Trusting yourself—you’re already great

• Facing death with peace and giving people their flowers now

• Honoring parent relationships—with love or graceful release

• Taking photos (don’t duck the camera—you’re part of the story)

• Letting music and frequency help you heal

• Rediscovering childhood passions and play

• Dressing like you love yourself—no more “someday clothes”

• Knowing you deserve nice things—stop waiting

• Treating self-care as sacred, not optional

• Giving yourself grace to make mistakes (just don’t repeat them)

• Recognizing red flags and walking away the first time

• Building real friendships with your neighbors—proximity matters

• Continuing to learn long after school is done

• Quitting jobs or relationships that no longer serve you

• Remembering why you started when the journey feels long

• Knowing you are deeply loved—even on the hard days

• Walking in the legacy of your ancestors

• Embracing rest as sacred, not earned

• Letting every lesson build you toward your next level

• Choosing how you show up—every single day

• Forgiving and letting go—because freedom is better

• Finding a mentor, coach, and friend (and knowing they’re not the same)

• Reclaiming your story and sharing your truth to break generational cycles

💬 Roxy’s Quote of the Day: “Everything is a lesson—pay attention so you can pass the test. You don’t want to repeat it.”

🎁 Subscriber Love:Special thanks to everyone who's been rocking with me through this series—your messages and shares mean everything! 💕✨ Want to win a 1:1 Self-Care Chat or a Self-Care Gift Basket? Just like, subscribe, and share this podcast with someone who needs it, not just anyone. Tag me so I know you entered!

Mentioned in this episode:

• Blog versions of all 48ish Life Lessons on Substack

• Part 1 and Part 2 of this series are available on Spotify, YouTube, and all podcast platforms

📝 Connect with Me:📸 IG: @RoxyUnfiltered
💌 Blog: Unfiltered with Roxy on Substack
🎧 Listen: Unfiltered with Roxy on Spotify, Apple, YouTube & more

#UnfilteredWithRoxy, #48LifeLessons, #LifeAt48, #SelfCareJourney, #HealingInRealTime, #GiveThemTheirFlowers, #ReparentYourself, #NatureHeals, #FaithAndHealing, #AuthenticLiving, #MindBodySoul, #MotivationalPodcast

Unfiltered with Roxy – Episode 17:

48ish Life Lessons at 48 (Part 2)

Welcome back to Unfiltered with Roxy! In Part 2 of my “48ish Life Lessons at 48,” I’m continuing to unpack what I’ve learned, loved, and lived—lessons that are still unfolding with each passing day.

Episode Summary:

This episode is all about pouring from a full cup, loving your body through the aches, and giving people their flowers while they're still here. Whether you're on a healing journey, balancing family life, or just trying to get the dishes done—there’s something in this episode for you. 💛

✨ In this episode, I talk about:

• Why you can’t pour from an empty cup

• How doing the things you love—like gardening or laughing at funny animal videos—can refill your spirit

• The reminder that "these are the good old days" even if they don’t feel like it

• The importance of showing up for people—your presence matters more than your paycheck

• Following your dreams so you don’t live in a cycle of “shoulda, coulda, woulda”

• Reading and learning from others’ stories so you don’t have to relearn the hard way

• Giving people their flowers while they’re alive (a tender moment honoring my mom)

• Why it's worth it to clean the dishes at night (you’ll thank yourself in the morning!)

• The power of making sure everything in your house has a home

• Learning to love your body for carrying you this far, even through pain and healing

💬 “Don’t live in shoulda, coulda, woulda. Try the thing, buy the skates, see what lights you up. If it’s not for you—resell it. But don’t hold back.”

🎁 Special shout-out to my first 19 subscribers—I see you and appreciate you! 💌 As a thank you, I’m giving away a free 1:1 Self-Care Chat and a Self-Care Starter Kit filled with goodies to help you reset. Just tag me in the comments and share this podcast with someone who’s ready to receive it. 💕

📌 Want to catch up on Part 1?
Listen now on Spotify, YouTube, or read the blog recap on Substack.

📝 Connect with me:
📸 IG: @RoxyUnfiltered
💌 Blog: Unfiltered with Roxy on Substack
🎧 Podcast: Unfiltered with Roxy on your favorite platform

#48LifeLessons #UnfilteredWithRoxy #SelfCareJourney #LifeAt48 #PourFromAFullCup #GiveThemTheirFlowers #NotVanilla #HealingInRealTime

Unfiltered with Roxy - Episode 16:

48-ish Life Lessons at 48 - Part 1

Happy Birthday to me… and hello wisdom!
📩 Read the full blog: roxanafeenster.substack.com

Welcome back to Unfiltered with Roxy 💛

I just turned 48 🥳 and whew—life has been a whole journey. I decided to celebrate the only way I know how: reflecting, storytelling, and hopefully dropping a few gems along the way.

✨ Episode Summary:

In this birthday episode, I’m sharing some of my 48-ish life lessons—things I’ve learned through blood, sweat, tears, joy, and glow-ups. These aren’t just quotes or tips… they’re real, lived truths that have shaped me. And the best part? I know some of them will land for you too 💫

🔑 What We’re Talking About:

Here are a few of the lessons I dive into in this episode:

1. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you
   💪 That BodyPump mantra stuck with me for life. Growth happens after the hard part.

2. No is a complete sentence
   🛑 No explanation needed. Protect your energy at all costs.

3. You are your own rescue team
   🆘 Stop waiting for the perfect fix. It’s you, sis. It’s always been you.

4. Don’t procrastinate
   📆 Pay the tolls. Have the convo. Send the email. Do the thing today.

5. You are your ancestors’ wildest dream
   🌿 They planted seeds so you could bloom. And you are blooming.

6. Enjoy your food
   🍽️ Especially when someone you love makes it with their whole heart. Eat the potato salad.

7. Dress like you love yourself
   👗 That means investing in the clothes that make you feel amazing—gym or boardroom.

8. Rest is sacred
   💤 You’re not lazy. You’re a whole human. And you deserve real rest.

9. Don’t disappear from your own story
   📸 Take the picture. Be seen. You matter—and we need you in the frame.

💬 Roxy-isms to Sit With:

“You are a rose. Even when the weeds try to choke you out, you still bloom.” 🌹
“Rest isn’t for babies—it’s for anyone who wants to show up strong and sane.”
“Don’t let your old habits talk you out of your healing.”

📖 Want More?

This episode was inspired by my birthday reflection blog:
📝 Read the full 48-ish Life Lessons list

🎥 Come Walk With Me:

You can also catch me sharing more of these lessons (and a few hot takes from my daily walks) over on YouTube:
📺 YouTube.com/@UnfilteredWithRoxy

🗣️ I Want to Hear from YOU:

What’s a life lesson you’ve had to learn the hard way—or the soft way? DM me, email me, or better yet, join me on the pod 💌Whether you’re 28 or 78, I believe your voice matters.

🙏 Thank You:

To my first 19 YouTube followers—thank you for being here.

Thank you for letting me be me. I’m praying that something in this episode reminds you that you’re strong, worthy, and wildly loved.

Let’s keep showing up… unfiltered and unapologetic 💛

And remember:

If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

—

With love and lessons,
Roxy

IG: @RoxyUnfiltered
Blog: roxanafeenster.substack.com
YouTube: youtube.com/@UnfilteredWithRoxy