But no matter how intensely I feel something, I’m always left with this sensation that there is a trapdoor the feeling didn’t make it through.

a forbidden place that is trying to protect the deepest parts of me…

I could cry at a leaf on the fucking ground if I think about it enough.

But I cannot escape this feeling that I am not feeling enough.

A sensation of some sort of weird disconnect-

A severed pathway that abruptly stops feelings before they get to some sort of elusive satisfying place that I’ll never know.

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