I am taking an online DEI/management course, and throughout the course, we are often asked to reflect, and be honest. I think reflection and honesty might be the two biggest, most important things any of us can do, at any time, to grow and become better versions of ourselves.

Many times we avoid reflecting, and being honest, because almost always, when you do it, you’ll notice something in you that has to change. When it comes to DEI and management, it’s so important for each individual to reflect on their biases, and be honest about their beliefs and willingness to do what must be done to create an inclusive work environment. It is important that, when people tell you their experience, you believe them, and accept that you may have played a part in creating that experience. So many times in doing this work, we run up against individuals who do not want to even look at their biases, never mind accept the reality of them and do what is necessary to change them.

I think there are many reasons for this. For example, if someone shares their bad experience, and we played a role in creating that experience, this means we must accept that we, in some way, hurt them. I believe we are all good people, and we cannot bear the thought of hurting others. So, our knee jerk is to deny it. “No way! I’m a good person! I didn’t do that to you!” But what if we could be good people AND still be humans who make mistakes and have room to grow? That’s the hard work of honesty and reflection. We are good, but goodness is a lifelong journey, not a destination, that requires us to actively participate in it every single day.

What does all this have to do with our creative project? Always reflect and remind yourself why you are doing this creative project. It is so easy to fall off track, judge it, get depressed about it, or start altering the trajectory of your life because you wrote ten pages of a novel (I’m gonna a be a star!). Next thing you know, you’re not working on your project anymore. You’ve either given up, gone back to school to start a new career, or are dreaming about million dollar multi-book deals. Trust me, I’ve done it all. But when you reflect on why you create, and are honest about that, and focus on that, your project will fill up your cups, inspire you, and give you something tangible back—a finished book, or a finished chair, or a finished song, or a finished painting. An accomplishment that you will feel very proud of.

And now, for my final. Name. That. Mood! This is my favorite one from the month. To me it means summertime. That’s all I got. Summertime, and whatever happy, lazy, sun soaked, chilled-out thing you’re doing. What do you think?

Happy end of NaNoWriMo everyone, and thanks for listening.

—MBF

Today’s is short, sweet, and to the point: you don’t need to do anything to earn the right to sit down and take time to be creative, or work on your creative project. Getting to work on the thing you want to work on is not something you have to earn.

Certainly, there are other responsibilities that require your attention, but don’t get into the habit of believing that ALL of those responsibilities need to be cleaned off your plate in order for you to deserve time to sit with your creative project. Just ask yourself: do I NEED to wash the dishes right now, or can I do it later? Do I NEED to get to the grocery store right now or can I do it later? Do I HAVE to work beyond my scheduled hours right now, or can I shut the computer down? Be honest, and be brave. Because the other side of the coin is, being so afraid to sit down and work on your project that you fill up your schedule with tasks so that there is no time left to create! Just give yourself a little bit of time and a little bit of space and trust that, like anything new or difficult or strange, once you get into it, you are really going to enjoy it.

And now: Name. That. Mood! Anyone that knows me knows I’m raising my shoulders up and down, along with my eyebrows, and, with full jazz hands, am creepy-smiling around the apartment. What do you think?

—MBF

Some days I feel particularly judgey of my writing before I even actually write anything. I’m in the shower, thinking about what I want to write (lots of good thinking happens in the shower). I get out, get ready for the day, sit at my desk, open the little notebook and…

Nope. That’s dumb, I think. So boring. Why bother. What is this even about. I’m the worst writer, I’m the worst human. I don’t deserve…and on and on. It’s on days like that when I believe exaggeration can come in very handy. First of all, you’re already exaggerating. NOTHING that you ever write is all that bad that you become this terrible person. No. Sure, it may not be a New York Times bestseller, and maybe it isn’t coming out the way you thought it should—but it is yours, your work, and if it’s not a gem itself, then it’s helping to get you somewhere. Trust that.

I know I know. When you are in it, pep talks don’t work. So, here’s a writing tip: don’t take yourself so seriously and exaggerate your way out of whatever thing you are writing that you hate so much. Tell lies. Make yourself laugh. And free that right brain from the greedy, controlling hands of the left for just a minute.

I was the saddest I’ve ever been. So sad that I was reduced to a puddle of tears that my cat had cried because I was too sad to get up and feed her.

I could do better. Ok.

I was on a rollercoaster, and not one of those old rickety kinds, but a rollercoaster so high that by the time I reached the top of the hill, I was not only in the sky, I was the sky; the heavens surrounded me and I could just see the glorious greens and blues of the Earth’s own curvature against endless space; and then, I plummeted. For a high that high would inevitably get you a low that low, lower, even then Dante’s innermost circle, where, if I had been Dante, I would have placed the inventor of price tags and SKU stickers on pieces of fruit.

Have a very, very good creating day, friends.

And now for everyone’s favorite time of day: Name. That. Mood! This one always makes me feel like I’m listening to NPR when they have a couple extra seconds of dead air time between shows, so they just roll some filler music. What do you think?

—MBF

I think a lot about motivation, reasons, purpose. I’m not talking about revving yourself up to get a bunch of tasks done or power through a hard thing. We all do this on some level every day, just trying to make it. What I’m talking about when I say motivation, reason, and purpose, is: why do we do the things we do? Why do we make the choices we make?

We live in a world where we make decisions and choices constantly. A lot of them on auto-pilot, and when the outcome is good, many of us attribute it to God or luck (hashtag blessed, anyone?). But when the outcome’s not so good, like when you kept doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Or when you looked up from your endless list of tasks and thought, I’m still here? Who do you give credit to then? I don’t know about you, but my knee jerk is toward regret at these moments, and then kicking myself, and then hating myself.

Strong words, but they feel true in these moments. But, instead of doing that, what if you just ask yourself what was motivating you to go that way…and not this way? To make that choice and not this, or this one? What purpose were you serving when you did that thing that you may now wish you had never done? For what reason did you not listen to your intuition? Giving yourself the chance to reflect and understand your reasons opens the door to acceptance of whatever it was you did, and brings you more awareness of your purpose, and the person you want to be, moving forward.

How does this all relate to creativity? Well, that project that you started and abandoned…eighteen times. Or that project you finished, and never let anyone see, never mind even know that you had done it. Or that project you’ve been thinking about doing forever…and never actually do. Ask yourself why? Why don’t you start it? Why don’t you finish it? Why do you hide it? Honest answers to these questions can give you precious insights into what you believe about yourself, and your purpose, and what motivates you—and why. And then you can decide if these things are still serving your best self, or if it’s time make some revisions.

And now for, Name. That. Mood! I’m feeling determined, a little scary. Like that part in the movie where the victim will no longer be a victim, and instead is in a montage of planning and preparing for their escape…with a little marching band duel vibe on it. What do you think?

—MBF

I’m going to share a little poem I wrote a long time ago. It’s technically a sonnet, but that’s not what matters most to me about it. What matters most to me about it is this one line:

Don’t already know what you’re going to say.

Have you ever been in a conversation where it seems like the other person isn’t really listening? Of course, we all have; but what I mean is: they are engaged, and talking to you, but it seems like what they are saying isn’t exactly in response to what you are saying, and is more like, just what they WANT to say, what they had already planned to say? I am sure this has happened to you—it happens to me all the time, on both sides. I’ll know what I want to say. I’ll patiently wait for the other person to finish what they are saying, and then I will say what I had planned to say in the first place—no matter what they just said. Unfortunately, that’s not being in conversation, or relating to that other person. That’s just two people talking at each other.

The same thing can happen with your creative project if you don’t actively listen to what it is telling you. You can sit down with a plan (great!) and then you get started, and well, plans change. If you keep trying to strong arm what’s actually happening into what you had planned to happen, you are probably going to end up with a frustrating result. So, as you do your creative project, let it be what it wants to be. A plan is always good, but allow yourself to respond to what’s actually happening. You may end up with something even better than you had planned.

The same goes the next time you are in a conversation: actually be in it. Don’t already know what you are going to say. Listen, and respond. So, on that note, here’s that poem. It’s called “Open Me”

This day will never come again. Listen

And now, Name. That. Mood! This song is a cross-section of my brain after a long day of multitasking: Word to Excel, back to Word, into Google Sheets, login to the funder portal, copy and paste, someone’s texting me, spam call, decline, doorbell rings, back to excel…Calgon take me away!!!! What do you think?

—MBF

Set aside the time. The thing about any creative project is, if you don’t set aside the time, if you don’t treat that time as important, then you can’t get your project done.

A lot of times we let other forces exert themselves upon our creative time. Like errands, or work, or other things that we believe to be non-negotiable. We say “I’ll take 30 minutes tomorrow morning!” Then the alarm goes off, the day starts getting away from you and it’s noon before you realize you never took those 30 minutes. Today I encourage you to think about your creative time as non-negotiable. Don’t let it be the thing that always gets bumped for other things. Reserve it—and preserve it—because honestly, that creative time, that time for yourself, is a gift that keeps on giving. You may feel like you “have no time for it” but once you take the time despite that feeling, and then take it again, and again, you begin to feel time opening up to you. There seems to be more of it. Your days get more spacious. This is the phenomenon of self care—and yes, engaging our creativity is 100% self care. When you take it, when you care for your Self, you become bigger. Taking time to nurture your creativity doesn’t just refill your cups, as they say. Over time, if you keep doing it, your cups will get even bigger.

And now, for Name. That. Mood! I could be bored. Watching paint dry. Or, maybe waiting for something, like, the seasons to change. Or I could just be on hold with T-Mobile. What do you think?

—MBF

I advocate for the reading of books. I also advocate for the reading of long articles, like in papers or magazines. And, while I care deeply about what actual books or long articles you read, honestly, it’s just more important that you do it.

Why? Because setting time aside to read NOT on a screen makes a huge difference to your brain. If you don’t believe me, here’s some cursory online evidence. But even more than these points, I think reading longer works, and allowing yourself to disappear into them—meaning, literally lose your Self—can cultivate empathy and broaden your perspectives. Some say this is true about travel. So if you are looking for some travel vibes but can’t go anywhere, just read my good friend Alex Robertson Textor’s beautiful travel magazine, Fields & Stations, which offers longer, more thoughtful articles on travel to the point that, reading the articles alone makes you feel like you’ve gone on the world’s most amazing trip.

Some also say that reading can help you feel more humility, and gratitude for the little things. If you’re looking for something to read in that vicinity, you can pre-order a paper copy of my good friend Amy Jamrog’s Confetti Moments: 52 Vignettes to Spark Conversation, Connect Deeply & Celebrate the Ordinary.

But, whatever you choose to read, don’t fear the quiet. Take a book into it with you, and work hard to get over the hump of your phone and to-do lists and what-have-yous pulling at you. I promise if you can make it past the first 25 pages, you’re gonna feel pretty good.

And now: Name. That. Mood! Honestly this one kind of sounds like I swallowed Herbie Hancock and prevented him from finishing his musical thought. What do you think?

—MBF

Since we’re all busy making stuff, and we’re already well into the week, I wanted to remind us all (myself included) that sometimes it’s hard to find the time to do our little creative projects.

Our lives are big. Filled with many things, likely not least of which is work, but also: exercise, cooking and eating, enjoying friends, family/kids, watching TV, travel, playing on our phones. It’s hard to consistently carve out time to do all the things, all the time. So, don’t. Don’t do all the things all the time. Do all the things at different times. You can get to everything, you just probably can’t get to everything EVERY DAY. So don’t. Just be committed to giving yourself the space to doing your creative projects when you can, and don’t get discouraged if life gets in the way sometimes. Just make a deal with yourself—and stick to it!—to get to it later. I find setting aside real time by putting it in my calendar to be a lot more helpful than you’d think.

And now: Name. That. Mood! Clearly this ditty is a Get Up and Dance It Out, My Friends. Sometimes we need a mid-day, mid-week, mid-month, or mid-life motivator. So I made this one for us. What do you think?

—MBF

Whatever you think the creative process is, you’re probably wrong. Or, maybe not wrong exactly, but there’s a high likelihood that your concept of creativity is incomplete, or limited.

We often learn from a young age that what we’re making isn’t any good, for whatever reason. But good and bad have nothing to do with creativity. Those are judgements, like, I’d buy that (or never buy that), or I could sell that (or, you could never sell that). I’ll only ask you one question: is that why we make stuff? Or do we make stuff (like fancy dinners, or crafts to hang on holidays, or paintings or songs or videos or stories) because it feels good to do it—and even share it?

Today, we’re doing it because it’s fun (and, funny). On that note: welcome to…Name. That. Mood! At the end of today’s podcast, I share a little piece of music with you, and invite you to consider what the heck mood I might have been in when I made it. To me today’s feels a little like it’s creeping around the edges of the dance floor, a little despondently. What do you think?

—MBF

Just so you know, this podcast was recorded in a very loud apartment, inside a fort made of couch cushions and every soft thing I own.

—MBF

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