UnicornPrn

Ever thought lending a little money to friends, buying a flashy house, or investing in your buddy’s “next unicorn” was harmless?

Congrats, you’ve just met the graveyard of wealth that eats entrepreneurs alive.

In Episode 10 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed bare it all on the biggest money mistakes they made after coming into wealth for the first time. From toxic founder empathy to rapper-level spending sprees, this one’s a masterclass in what NOT to do when you hit a financial windfall.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✅ Why lending money to friends almost always kills the friendship
✅ How “toxic empathy” with founders leads to subsidizing bad businesses
✅ The hidden cost of flexing: mortgages, taxes, and regret
✅ How taxes (and bad advisors) quietly rob millions from unsuspecting founders

Hot Takes:

✅ “When you win the lottery, stop buying more lottery tickets.”
✅ “Never take advice from people who haven’t been where you want to go.”

Listen to this one before you Venmo your buddy, sign that 30-year mortgage, or spray angel checks like champagne at a nightclub.

Tune in. Wake up. Protect your wealth before it vanishes.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.

Ever been told “just pick the biggest TAM,” “hire a seasoned exec,” or “run ads for growth”?

Congrats, you’ve been hit with some of the worst startup advice ever spewed on a LinkedIn carousel, usually by someone who’s never built anything but a Notion doc.

In Episode 9 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed go full flamethrower on the Top 12 BS startup tropes that sound smart… but cost you time, money, and probably your sanity.

From armchair analysts advisors to startup cosplay founders who’ve never shipped anything real, this episode’s for anyone who’s tired of pretending recycled TED Talk advice is gospel.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✅ The myth of “big TAM = big business” 
✅ The danger of hiring for pedigree over trajectory
✅ Why contractors > entitled employees in today’s startup world
✅ How “track everything” becomes an excuse to do nothing
✅ The fastest way to kill culture

Hot Takes:

✅ “Do not take advice from people who haven’t been where you want to go.”
✅ “There are very few things in life you can’t recover from. Just pick the decision that helps you get out of bed in the morning.”

Listen to this one before you hand over your startup to a VC’s favorite ‘operator,’ build a cult of dashboards, or burn cash to please an imaginary persona.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.

Ever heard the advice “find a market with no competition”? Then you’ve definitely walked straight into a blue ocean, only to realize it’s full of sharks, no buyers, and zero budget line items.

“I’m the first, so the whole world is my customer.”

“If no one’s doing it, that must mean it’s a great idea.”

“I’ll be the industry leader because I got there first.”

… and then you bleed out on the ocean floor while explaining what your product even does to confused prospects.

In Episode 8 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed debunk the blue ocean myth, sharing lessons paid for in blood and burnout from building in zero-competition markets, so you don’t have to.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✅ Why “no competition” is actually a red flag, not a flex

✅ How blue ocean startups die from long sales cycles and buyer confusion

✅ Why the hardest thing to sell is something nobody understands yet

✅ The secret to second-mover advantage (hint: don’t try to be the innovator, be the optimizer)

✅ How to flip into a purple ocean and make money from day one

Hot Takes:

✅ “Founders confuse novelty with value. Just because it hasn’t been done doesn’t mean it should.”

✅ “People don’t want to be first. Especially in B2B. They want proof, not your vision board.”

So before you waste years educating a market that doesn’t give a damn, listen to this episode and skip the uphill battles, ghosted demos, and ramen-fueled regret.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.

Ever raise venture capital? Then you’ve definitely heard some version of:

“It’s a bit too early for us.”
“What if Google builds this?”
“Ping me when you have a lead.”

In Episode 7 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed crack open the cliché-filled, gaslight-ridden world of fundraising conversations. They expose the truth behind fake praise, soft NOs, and the cult of “value-add” investors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✅ How to decode the top 10 most common VC phrases 
✅ Why “Let us know how we can help” is investor ghosting in disguise
✅ When “you’re not thinking big enough” actually means we don’t get it
✅ How to navigate value-add promises that vanish post-wire

Hot Takes:

✅ “Founders get confused when someone’s interested, but they’re not actually making a move. Interest ≠ intent.”
✅ “Most VCs only give you confidence after someone else has given you conviction.”

So grab your Series A dreams and your Series Z patience, because this episode is your official VC-to-English dictionary.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.

Is “culture fit” the secret sauce of team cohesion… or just startup speak for hiring people who look, think, and act exactly like you?

In Episode 6 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed torch the startup world’s favorite excuse for bias, groupthink, and hiring your drinking buddies. They unpack how “culture fit” became a Trojan horse for toxic execs, lazy recruiting, and leadership that folds like a lawn chair under pressure.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✅ Why “culture fit” is often just code for bias
✅ How the “beer test” broke your hiring
✅ Startup horror stories of culture gone wrong
✅ How to hire for culture add, not fit
✅ A playbook for building an intentional culture at scale

Hot Takes:

✅ “What’s good for the leader should be good for everyone. Lead by example, no favoritism, one rule for all.”
✅ “Culture is not what you write on the wall, it’s how people behave when the leaders aren’t in the room.” 

So grab your kombucha, cancel your ping-pong table budget, and maybe double-check that Slack gossip channel… because this episode goes full HR-horror story mode.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.

In startup land, everyone acts like hiring’s a cheat code… “just add a rockstar!” But what if that rockstar needs a brief for everything, tanks morale, or burns $280K on vaporware?

In Episode 5 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed discuss the hiring disasters that don’t make it to TechCrunch, from corporate dinosaurs who can’t function without minions to vibe hires who vanish before onboarding. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ Why early-stage hiring is high-stakes and emotionally loaded
✅ The common bad hire archetypes that will quietly (or loudly) kill your company
✅ Red flag checklists to spot bad fits before they destroy your culture
✅ When to hire, when to fire, and how to test-drive before you commit

Hot Takes:
✅ “If you keep hiring for tenure over trajectory, you will become the very thing you set out to disrupt.”
✅ “You need to think about hiring as a fiscally responsible decision.”

Grab your popcorn (and maybe your severance template), because this one’s loaded with red flags, cut-worthy hires, and savage founder truths that'll save your runway from going up in flames.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.

In the startup world, everyone preaches “fake it till you make it”. But what happens when faking it goes too far? Are you a bold founder hustling to realize a big vision, or a fraudster selling pipe dreams and ending up in handcuffs? 

In Episode 4 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed pull back the curtain on the dark side of startup hustle – when “fake it till you make it” turns into outright fraud. They swap war stories of con artists in the boardroom, from fake user accounts and phantom revenue to corporate espionage straight out of a spy thriller. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ Why startup culture’s obsession with unicorn status pushes founders to flirt with fraud (and sometimes marry it)
✅ Unicorn Hall of Shame
✅ Common lies founders love to tell (until they can't)
✅ Red flag checklists for founders, investors, and employees to spot BS before it blows up
✅ Frameworks for ethical “fake it till you make it”

Hot Takes:
✅ "You don’t need to lie, you can fake it ethically with Wizard of Oz MVP or no-code."
✅ "Don’t be enamored by fraudsters. That quick win can become the fastest path to jail."

Grab your popcorn (and maybe a notepad), because this one’s full of 🚀memes, spicy insights, and hard-earned lessons for anyone in startup land.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.

Is venture capital the fuel behind world-changing innovation…or just a glorified pyramid scheme where everyone’s pretending they’re building the next Uber while actually praying for a higher valuation before the money runs out?
In this spicy episode of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed expose how the game is played — founders chasing funding like junkies, markups for AI buzzwords duct-taped to a landing page, unicorn markdowns like it’s Black Friday, and accelerators slapping lipstick on broken products for Demo Day.

Highlights:

• Why VC math makes founders lie to themselves (and investors)
• The billion-dollar valuation addiction—and who’s really winning
• The culture of secondary exits, fake wins, and quiet shutdowns
• What happens when the market corrects and the music stops
• The NEW Startup Operating System

Hot Takes:

• “A startup that needs constant funding to survive isn’t building... It’s bleeding.”
• “More startups die of indigestion than starvation.”

The startup game is rigged. This episode hands you the playbook they don't want you to read.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.

Startups are messy. But cofounder relationships? Even messier. In this brutally honest episode of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed dive into the raw, real, and often ridiculous world of cofounder dynamics—from love stories gone wrong to business partnerships built on shaky foundations.

They read founder DMs and dissect juicy, anonymized tales of startup breakups, equity disputes, silent resentment, power struggles, and control freaks who hoard all the glory. Nothing is off-limits.

Whether your cofounder is your best friend, life partner, or someone you met at a hackathon, this episode will either save your relationship or confirm that it’s time to walk away.

Highlights:

• The equity conversation you’re avoiding (but must have ASAP)
• How to vet a technical cofounder before giving up your cap table
• Real stories: cofounder ghosting, solo resentment, side gigs, and betrayal
• Who should be CEO (Hint: it’s not the one who bought the domain)
• Managing burnout, power dynamics, and communication breakdowns

Hot takes:

• “Cofounder breakups make divorces look polite. Paper it before the kumbaya fades.”
• “You don’t need chemistry. You need someone who answers emails and doesn’t ghost on deadline day.”
• “Most cofounder drama starts with unclear roles and ends with legal fees.”

If you’re carrying the company and they’re carrying their ego… this episode might save your sanity (and your cap table).

Listen. Cringe. Reflect. Maybe renegotiate your equity split.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.

Welcome to the very first episode of UnicornPrn, the only podcast that peels back the glossy veneer of startup life and roasts it over a flaming pile of pitch decks.

Hosted by Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo, two founder friends who’ve seen the startup world from the inside out, upside down, and on fire… we’re here to talk about what it’s actually like to build a company (spoiler: it’s not all oat milk lattes and billion-dollar exits).

In this episode, we dive into the unicorn myth — how it hijacked founders’ brains, turned venture capital into a fix more addictive than doomscrolling, and what no one tells you before you sign that first term sheet and trade your sanity (and maybe your weekends, your marriage, and your gut health).

Highlights:

• How chasing unicorns became a socially acceptable addiction
• Our own founder delusions, burnout, and near-glorious meltdowns
• Why fundraising is a lifestyle trap disguised as ambition
• The brutal math of dilution, valuation, and exits
• What real success looks like—spoiler: it’s not always on TechCrunch

Hot Takes:

• “If you need a $100M raise to feel worthy, therapy’s cheaper.”
• “VC money gives you runway and a front-row seat to everyone else’s expectations.”
• “Think you’re the player, but don’t know the rules? You’re the entertainment.”

If your days are spent pitching, posting, and pretending everything’s fine... you’re not alone.

Listen. Question. Reflect. Rethink.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. 
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ 
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.