What if the version of you most of the world knows… isn’t actually *you*?

In this episode of But For Real, we’re sitting down with Devon Price, PhD—social psychologist, author of Unmasking Autism (+ several other books!), and badass autistic human—to get really REAL about something that is kinda the opposite of that:

Masking.

That pattern of adaptation that’s helped you survive… but can slowly erode at your sense of self. 🫠

In this conversation, we get into what it actually means to “mask” as an autistic or otherwise neurodivergent person (hell, even just as a people-pleaser living in a capitalist society): how it shows up, why so many of us do it without even realizing, and what happens when you finally start to take that mask off.

If you’re one of MANY people who was diagnosed with autism later in life, you know it can feel like a huge relief… but it can *also* feel like grief, anger, and even a full-on “who TF am I actually?” era.

We’re talking about what it’s like to spend decades performing “normal,” only to realize you’ve been white-knuckling your way through life—and what it takes to rebuild something that actually fits.

And we keep coming back to this:

You don’t just “stop masking.”

You slowly, painfully, honestly… learn how to exist as yourself.

So if you’ve ever thought…

“Why am I so exhausted ALL THE TIME?”

“Why do I feel like I’m performing in every interaction?”

“Who am I without all of this?”

…this one’s for you. 🫂

In this episode of But For Real, we unpack…

• What “masking” actually is—and why it’s so common in autistic adults
• Why late autism diagnoses often bring both relief AND grief
• The hidden cost of people-pleasing and social “autopilot”
• Why you can’t just flip a switch and stop masking overnight
• How identity confusion shows up after unmasking begins
• The role of burnout, exhaustion, and chronic overwhelm
• Why safe relationships are essential for unmasking
• The emotional phases: relief → grief → anger → rebuilding
• How to reconnect with your authentic self (without blowing up your whole life)

And here’s the timestamps—

• 00:00 – Welcome back to But For Real
• 01:00 – Meet Devon Price, PhD (and why this convo matters)
• 03:30 – The “hive mind” metaphor + masking as social survival
• 05:30 – Listener question: late autism diagnosis in adulthood
• 07:00 – Relief vs grief after diagnosis
• 08:30 – “I’ve been performing my whole life…”
• 10:30 – Why masking isn’t something you can just turn off
• 13:00 – Identity confusion: who am I without the mask?
• 16:00 – The emotional aftermath: anger, grief, and loss
• 19:00 – Autistic burnout + chronic exhaustion
• 22:00 – Safe people, safe spaces, and practicing authenticity
• 26:00 – Reconnecting with your younger self
• 30:00 – What unmasking actually looks like in real life
• 35:00 – Why this process takes YEARS (not weeks)
• 40:00 – Final thoughts: you’re not behind—you’re becoming

Connect with Dr. Devon

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdevonprice/
• Substack: https://drdevonprice.substack.com/
• Books: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/2294535/devon-price-phd/

Connect with Us:

• Submit a story for The Lore segment
• Submit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segment
• Reach out: [email protected]
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.