What's your favorite airport thriller, and has it been made into a movie yet? If not, you better buy those rights quick!

In this episode, we continuously mispronounce Amanda Seyfried's name, speculate about veneer budgets for ex-cons, and contemplate if “one hundred hairs” would be a whole scalp full.

Going on record that we called it early this film was getting a sequel! And if Sydney Sweeney wants to come clean our houses, we'll accept our fate.

The Housemaid is currently in theaters.

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The Housemaid (2025)
dir. Paul Feig
writ. Rebecca Sonnenshine (screenplay)
starring Sydney Sweeney, Amanda Seyfried, Brandon Sklenar, Michele Morrone, Indiana Elle, Elizabeth Perkins

Have you ever been so overcome with bottomless ambition that you had to drop everything and become the world table tennis champion?

In this episode, we check out the new Safdie solo joint and ping-pong it back and forth a little with some different feelings about unlikable protagonists, sports movies that aren't really sports movies, and the blinding light that is Chalamet.

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Marty Supreme (2025)
dir. Josh Safdie
writ. Josh Safdie & Ronald Bronstein
starring Timothée Chalamet, Gwyneth Paltrow, Odessa A'zion, Kevin O'Leary, Abel Ferrara, Fran Drescher

As a person who hates shoes and loves cats, our still and quote today sure are relatable...

Newcomer Eva Victor shines with a perfect blend of comedic and heartfelt writing, directing, and acting. We're unanimously fans of hers now and will be following her career wherever she goes!

Sorry, Baby is available to watch now on HBO Max with a subscription.

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Sorry, Baby (2025)
dir. Eva Victor
writ. Eva Victor
starring Eva Victor, Naomi Ackie, Louis Cancelmi, Kelly McCormack, Lucas Hedges, John Carroll Lynch

What if we all start saying "Jay Kelly" to mean just kidding? Jay Kelly.

In this episode we discuss the fine line between George Clooney and characters played by George Clooney, the ongoing Sandlerssance, and how much value cheesecake adds to a movie.

Jay Kelly is currently streaming on Netflix (as part of their global media domination strategy).

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Jay Kelly (2025)
dir. Noah Baumbach
writ. Noah Baumbach & Emily Mortimer
starring George Clooney, Adam Sandler, Laura Dern, Billy Crudup, Patrick Wilson

Considering our split on this one, we’re betting there’s a 50% chance you’ll be emotionally compromised watching this film, so have your tissues ready and your therapist on speed dial.

In this episode, we discuss the power of art to impact us all in different ways, the use of direct quotes and references in movies based on historical figures, and our unanimous obsession with Jessie Buckley.

And now we’re wondering, have you ever walked out of a movie?

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Hamnet (2025)
dir. Chloé Zhao
writ. Chloé Zhao & Maggie O'Farrell
starring Jessie Buckley, Paul Mescal, Emily Watson, Jacobi Jupe, Joe Alwyn

We're back from the holidays with Eternity starring Elizabeth Olsen and Miles Teller.

We discuss how much rom-com we like in our rom-coms but mostly get distracted wondering who we'd bring with us to which of this movie's pre-packaged paradises. (We're taking Da'Vine Joy Randolph and John Early to Cinema World, how about you?) And does anyone have tips on how to love your job so much that you’d choose to continue doing it in the afterlife?

Eternity is currently on the tail end of its theatrical run and available on VOD (with an Apple TV streaming release to follow).

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Eternity (2025)
dir. David Freyne
writ. Pat Cunnane & David Freyne
starring Elizabeth Olsen, Miles Teller, Callum Turner, Da'Vine Joy Randolph, John Early

Who would you rent Brendan Fraser for in your life? Does he do cuddles? We'd pay to cuddle him.

Whether or not we approve of this service, we certainly approve of Akira Emoto getting everything he wants in this world. And cat festivals. We approve of cat festivals.

Apply your face paints, pay a new friend for a night out, and look for Rental Family playing in your local theaters.

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Rental Family (2025)
dir. Hikari
writ. Hikari & Stephen Blahut
starring Brendan Fraser, Takehiro Hira, Mari Yamamoto, Shannon Mahina Gorman, Akira Emoto

Can we ask you something? If someone cooked you scallops at a romantic retreat after 4 months of dating, would you assume you're in a relationship?

Can we ask you something else? Did you bet against hearing the word "kerning" in our episode today?

If we're ever in trouble, our first phone call will be to... none of these characters. And it turns out secluded country houses might just be another theme of this year (every year?).

Oh, Hi! is currently streaming on Netflix.

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Oh, Hi! (2025)
dir. Sophie Brooks
writ. Sophie Brooks
starring Molly Gordon, Logan Lerman, Geraldine Viswanathan, John Reynolds, David Cross

As much as we enjoy our chosen quote, it's got nothing on the 1987 original film's "I don't wanna be the only asshole in heaven."

We unanimously agreed Michael Cera owns the remake with his long johns, firefighter's pole, and Home Alone style deathtrapped house. But we have some questions. If you had to go on a game show to save your family, which one would you choose? And does anyone else subconsciously shout "stop filming me" at every public event?

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The Running Man (2025)
dir. Edgar Wright
writ. Michael Bacall & Edgar Wright (screenplay)
starring Glen Powell, Josh Brolin, Jayme Lawson, Colman Domingo, Lee Pace, Michael Cera, Emilia Jones

On another recent Unprocessed field trip, we had the opportunity to screen Kelly Reichardt's new film in Asheville, NC. If you're in the area, be sure to check out one of our favorite spots, the Fine Arts Theatre.

The Mastermind features a stacked cast, a beautifully muted color palette, and some mesmerizing jazz. Join us as we discuss the irony of this film's title, the effectiveness of lingering on tedium in filmmaking, and our nostalgia for 70s/80s style McDonald's food.

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The Mastermind (2025)
dir. Kelly Reichardt
writ. Kelly Reichardt
starring Josh O'Connor, Alana Haim, Hope Davis, John Magaro, Gaby Hoffman, Bill Camp