In this episode, Beth chats with Sharon Loeschen, LCSW, about her decades of experience as a therapist and community activist. Her compassionate voice encourages us all to find our own healing path, and she gives specific advice about how parents can their kids survive and thrive through adolescence.

=======================================

Sharon Loeschen’s books:

• Enriching Your Relationship with Yourself and Others: https://satirglobal.org/product/enriching-your-relationship-with-yourself-and-others/
• Choosing Your Life Story: Inspirational Stories of Transformations from the Streets of South Central Los Angeles: https://satirglobal.org/product/choosing-your-life-story/

Virginia Satir’s book Sharon recommends in this episode:

• The New People-Making: https://www.amazon.com/New-Peoplemaking-Virginia-Satir/dp/0831400706

Lewis’s South Central organization that Sharon talks about in this episode:

• Advocates for Peace and Urban Unity: https://www.facebook.com/apuunow/

=======================================

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon

=======================================

RESOURCES:

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling

=======================================

TIME STAMPS:

0:40 Sharon’s bio

2:06 Sharon’s relationship with our family

3:43 Virginia Satir’s bio

5:28 Sharon’s relationship with Virginia Satir

6:54 Virginia Satir’s difficult childhood

8:50 Life Sentences

9:48 Why Sharon became a therapist

10:47 Sharon’s early career

13:41 Richard Schwartz & a new look at being a compassionate witness for oneself

16:05 Ex-gang members, ex-prisoners, and their trauma

18:15 Sharon’s first time at South Central meeting

20:00 Sharon mentors one of the ex-prisoners through college

21:19 How Sharon feels about her transformed clients

22:24 Self-esteem and significance

23:20 Racism and intolerance v understanding and compassion

24:24 Advice for parents of struggling teens

26:26 Practicing awareness to improve your parenting

31:25 Thinking in terms of triggered PARTS

32:00 Triangles in relationships

33:24 Resilience of your spirit

35:05 Can healing happen without extensive therapy and resources?

41:20 Sharon’s advice for Joey, Beth, and Jan

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

Beth hears the story of Stan DeWitt, an adult adoptee who has recently been reunited with his birth family. Stan looks back on his adolescence and talks about how adoption has affected his life. This is a happy story full of love, self-awareness, acceptance, and coincidences that are almost too wild to believe.

===============

💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Stan DeWitt’s website: https://www.standewitt.com/

Stan’s blog: https://acustatic.blogspot.com/2021/10/schrodingers-son.html?fbclid=IwAR3yPn0T1lXoZioTaBrWMQ_IlRuFdLeZ3GIB51hDRxyNP8UbGZ4GnM7OL0w

Schrödinger's cat explanation:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat

Stan’s rock opera: https://www.amazon.com/Silver-Bullet-Opera-Sound-Ministry/dp/B06XTC52TX

Long Beach Youth Chorus: https://www.longbeachyouthchorus.org/

=======================================

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon

=======================================

RESOURCES:

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling

=======================================

TIME STAMPS:

2:12 Introducing Stan DeWitt, adult adoptee

2:38 Stan’s adoption story

4:45 Teen and young adult years

8:01 Stan’s adoptive parents pass away, start of birth family search

10:35 Finding Stan’s birthmother

13:20 DNA tests

18:54 Finding Stan’s birthfather

21:27 The things that helped make reunion possible for Stan

24:12 The need for grounding

27:00 Stan’s advice for adopted people

27:26 Learning to use boundaries

28:28 Intergenerational trauma

31:08 Stan is childless - a connection?

34:00 Schrödinger's son

36:30 How to connect with Stan and his work

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

Joey rejoins the podcast for this special episode about his relapse. In his chat with Beth, he offers a boots-on-the-ground perspective about what caused his relapse, how things are going for him, and what he sees his future holding for him.

===============

💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon

=======================================

RESOURCES:

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling

 

 

TIME STAMPS:

1:50 - Joey’s boots on the ground reporting of his relapse

3:18 - What led up to Joey’s relapse

4:34 - Joey talks about his enabler

6:47 - Benefits of getting kicked out

7:21 - Joey’s plan for dealing with his dad

8:39 - Sober living housing

10:08 - What Beth or Jan could’ve done to prevent Joey’s relapse

12:15 - Letting natural consequences occur

13:26 - Joey’s self-destruct cycle, but he’s still trying

15:16 - What Joey needs the most today

16:26 - Difference between connection/support and enabling

17:08 - Does yelling or shaming work? V

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

It’s been 6 weeks since Joey relapsed and moved back to his dad’s house. In this episode, Jan and Beth talk about how they’re dealing with his downward spiral.

===============

💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon

=======================================

RESOURCES:

And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

 

TIME STAMPS:

1:17 The relapse story continues, 6 weeks later

2:13 Keeping a positive connection

4:47 Parents’ reaction to Joey getting caught stealing

6:05 Beth’s dream for society’s support for troubled teens

8:16 “Come, Come, Whoever You Are”

9:44 Safe Home approach v Tough Love approach

10:55 Our parental anxiety during relapse

12:25 Joey’s 2nd traumatic event in one night

13:47 Joey ditched Jan and Beth for pumpkin patch date

16:20 Joey “losing credibility”

19:00 Our advice for parents with kids who relapse

26:25 How Joey’s adoption contributed to his pain

27:20 What Jan and Beth would do differently if they could do it all over

28:05 Joey’s birthday angst

30:00 Some of the signs of trouble that Jan and Beth missed

34:09 Take the spotlight off your kid sometimes

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

Beth and Joey compare notes about the way depression feels for each of them. (This episode was recorded several weeks ago, before Joey's  relapse.)

===============

💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon

=======================================

 

RESOURCES:

Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7

Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7

Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE   6-10pm PST  Or text TEEN to 839863  Talk to other trained teens

Youthline:  call 877-968-8491   4-10pm PST   Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.

Need2Text: text TALK to 38255    24/7

 

 

And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

=======================================

For those listening to these episodes in order, Joey is still in relapse mode at the time of this episode's publication, but it was recorded about 6 weeks ago while he was still living with Beth and Jan.

 

TIME STAMPS:

1:19 What is depression for Joey?

2:08 What is depression for Beth?

3:57 Depression to numb out

4:43 Joey’s first experiences with depression

6:02 Did depression affect Joey’s decision to use substances?

7:06 Drugs as depressants

9:04 How Joey pulls out of a depression cycle

12:47 How Beth pulls out of a depression cycle

13:22 Beth’s depression history

17:48 Passive suicidality and suicide attempts

19:38 How psychedelics mixed with Joey’s depression

22:40 Depression while sober v while using substances

23:31 Dreaming to deal with depression

28:05 The one thing that helps Beth the most with depression

29:48 What Joey suggests for someone struggling right now

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

Two moms talk about how they've managed their own lives while trying to support their kids struggling with substances. Beth chats with Heather Ross, who was her and Jan's parenting life coach last year, and who has an amazing podcast called Living With Addiction.

===============

💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon

=======================================

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

Here is our life coach Heather Ross’s Living With Addiction podcast episode that is mentioned, on which you can hear Beth, Jan, and Joey as her guests.  Subscribe to her podcast to listen to her other episodes too!

Find Heather Ross Coaching on Facebook and Instagram.

Find a life coach on any number of topics at https://thelifecoachschool.com/

=======================================

RESOURCES:

Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:

 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7

Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7

Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE   6-10pm PST  Or text TEEN to 839863  Talk to other trained teens

Youthline:  call 877-968-8491   4-10pm PST   Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.

Need2Text: text TALK to 38255    24/7

 

And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:

 

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

 

TIME STAMPS:

2:05 What is life coaching?

2:50 Parents can’t stop their kid from using substances

7:30 How to deal with parental guilt about the past

10:47 How to deal with parental anxiety about the future

13:14 Heather’s history with her daughter and life coaching

17:10 Parental support that Beth experienced (or not)

20:40 Beth taking care of Beth so she could take care of Joey

22:04 Parent coaching can help every relationship

24:05 How Beth’s and Heather’s kids want to help others with our podcasts

26:58 Heather’s experience with AA and Alanon

28:00 Releasing judgment for families with struggling teens

31:50 The self-coaching model that Heather uses - Think/Feel/Act cycle

36:40 How to find Heather Ross Coaching

37:10 How to find any life coach in general - Life Coach School

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this episode, Jan talks with Beth about her experience with speed in her 20s, plus other stimulants she's used (and continues to use). 

===============

💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie 

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao 

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith 

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] 

 

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube 

Support Safe Home on Patreon 

 

RESOURCES: 

Narcotics Anonymous: https://na.org/ 

“ADHD Prescription Drug Abuse: Do You Know Why It’s Wrong?” https://parenting.kars4kids.org/adhd-prescription-drug-abuse-know-wrong/ 

 

Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now: 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7 

Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7 

Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE   6-10pm PST  Or text TEEN to 839863  Talk to other trained teens 

Youthline:  call 877-968-8491   4-10pm PST   Or text Teen2Teen to 839863. 

Need2Text: text TALK to 38255    24/7 

 

And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling: 

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling 

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/ 

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ 

 

TIME STAMPS: 

1:00 Update on Joey’s status 

3:20 Jan’s history with using speed 

6:56 What it feels like to be on speed 

8:00 Why Jan got kicked out of the Air Force 

11:05 Jan’s low point led her to using speed 

12:06 How stimulants affect hunger and weight 

13:20 Cocaine v speed 

16:11 Why Jan quit using stimulants 

18:00 Jan’s first NA meeting 

21:55 Why Jan was drawn to stimulants v depressants 

22:47 Jan made do with low-paying jobs 

27:46 Caffeine, chocolate, and sugar as stimulants 

31:15 Ritalin and Adderall used and sold by kids

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this episode, Beth talks with special guest Emma Roberts from National Harm Reduction Coalition about what her organization is doing to help mitigate harm from opiates and other substances.  

===============

💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie 

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao 

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith 

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] 

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube 

Support Safe Home on Patreon 

 

RESOURCES: 

National Harm Reduction Coalition: https://harmreduction.org/ 

Find Naloxone near you (to reverse opiate overdose): https://harmreduction.org/resource-center/harm-reduction-near-you/ 

Find sterile syringes near you: https://www.nasen.org/map/ 

Johann Hari’s TED talk ”Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong” that Emma mentioned in the podcast: https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong?language=en 

 

Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now: 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7 

Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7 

Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE   6-10pm PST  Or text TEEN to 839863  Talk to other trained teens 

Youthline:  call 877-968-8491   4-10pm PST   Or text Teen2Teen to 839863. 

Need2Text: text TALK to 38255    24/7 

 

And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling: 

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling 

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/ 

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ 

 

TIME STAMPS: 

1:35 Emma Roberts’ background with harm reduction work 

5:10 Definition of harm reduction philosophy 

6:50 Harm reduction v. “Just Say No” 

7:10 Harm reduction origins with AIDS 

8:40 Connection as antidote to addiction 

11:30 Frustrations with our Kaiser Permanente healthcare system 

16:17 Harm reduction offers more tools for your tool kit 

18:47 Harm reduction in sex ed 

20:15 Opiate overdoses higher since Covid 

22:08 Presence of fentanyl 

23:44 Importance of having Narcan/Naloxone available 

25:50 Where to get Narcan/Naloxone 

28:16 Indiana outbreak of opiate overdoses 

31:25 Syringe services 

31:58 Teens and opioids 35:46 Risks of injecting substances 42:27 War on the War on Drugs 45:57 Looking for the root cause of substance use 48:17 Proliferation of opioid prescriptions 51:28 Labelling people as addicts 53:20 Drug/Set/Setting - evaluating risk 57:21 How we can support National Harm Reduction Coalition (HarmReduction.org) 59:57 Loving people back to health

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this episode, Joey talks to Beth about the ways he's used alcohol, the alcohol culture among high schoolers, the dangers of alcohol use, and alternative ways that kids get ahold of alcohol.  (This episode was recorded before Joey's relapse.) 

===============

💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie 

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao 

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith 

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] 

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube 

Support Safe Home on Patreon 

 

RESOURCES: 

Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now: 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7 

Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7 

Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE   6-10pm PST  Or text TEEN to 839863  Talk to other trained teens 

Youthline:  call 877-968-8491   4-10pm PST   Or text Teen2Teen to 839863. 

Need2Text: text TALK to 38255    24/7 

 

And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling: 

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling 

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/ 

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ 

 

NOTE: If you heard Episode 6 - Relapse - you might remember that Joey has relapsed recently but had given us his blessing to continue the podcast without him until he could come back when he's sober.  This episode (and one more) had been recorded before his relapse, so we are publishing it now.  

 

TIME STAMPS: 

1:40 Today’s high school kids’ use of alcohol 

3:59 Blacked out 

6:09 “Stupid shit” Joey’s done while drinking 

19:52 Drunk driving 

20:34 Alcohol overdose and alcohol poisoning 

22:25 Why kids want to drink and get drunk 

23:38 Joey’s advice for dealing with depression using substances 

25:23 How Joey got his alcohol 

28:15 How often Joey drank 

29:49 What parents should do with their own alcohol at home 

30:54 How alcohol affected his school performance 

32:58 Alternative ways kids get ahold of alcohol - hand sanitizer, etc. 

37:36 What parents should do if their child is drinking alcohol 

45:27 Don’t quit drinking cold turkey 

47:20 Don’t mix any other substance with alcohol 

49:10 Roll blacked out drinker on their side so they don’t die from choking on their own vomit 

50:30 Suicidal ideation and effects ==of suicide on others

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

This is a raw debriefing by Jan and Beth about Joey's relapse that happened earlier that day. Joey moved back to his dad's house in order to use substances again. He gave Jan and Beth his blessing (before his relapse) to continue the podcast and to talk about how relapse is a very common part of recovery. 

===============

💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie 

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao 

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith 

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] 

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube 

Support Safe Home on Patreon 

Here is our life coach Heather Ross’s Living With Addiction podcast episode that is mentioned, on which you can hear Beth, Jan, and Joey as her guests. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-40-supporting-your-childs-healing-journey/id1543141299?i=1000534800683

 

RESOURCES: 

Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now: 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7 

Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7 

Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE   6-10pm PST  Or text TEEN to 839863  Talk to other trained teens 

Youthline:  call 877-968-8491   4-10pm PST   Or text Teen2Teen to 839863. 

Need2Text: text TALK to 38255    24/7 

 

And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling: 

Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling 

Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/ 

Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message