Unsilenced- Survivor's Journey To Justice

This is the audio I posted on my YouTube channel on the 16th August - the anniversary of the assault. To look back over 30 years it’d be easy to suggest to just move on from it. But For most of those 30 I never said a word to anyone. Now I’m liberated by sharing my journey. This is the first anniversary date I have ever crossed with my perpetrator in prison. For the first time this date felt very different. In this podcast I break down why….

I created this podcast because the past nine months have been deeply transformational - it’s been nine months since I sent the man who assaulted me to prison.

For the first three months, I think I was in shock, still coming to terms with the fact that the battle was finally over. The next three months were about rebalancing myself after using up so much energy over the previous six years. It was around the six-month mark that I started creating content about my story.

Now, three months later, at nine months in, I can barely put into words how different things are. I felt like I’d changed a lot by the six-month mark, but I’ve experienced that same level of change again by nine months - maybe even more. My life is so different now compared to, say, the week after it happened. I barely recognise myself as the same person.

The nine-month mark isn’t a significant date. It’s not an anniversary, and nothing specific happened this month. I think it’s just a stretch of time we tend to dismiss and underestimate - the amount of change a person can go through in that space is easy to overlook.This is all part of my r@pe survivor journey - if you’re a survivor too - I hope you find it useful too.

There are many myths around sexual assault. Here are three of the most common ones that I have personally experienced first hand and have heard them time and time again by the media etc.In this video I also reference a particular other youtube video I urge every survivor or loved one of a survivor to watch. the detail and level of knowledge of this man can not be criticised - this man is a genius!!Here is the video:

Other than that I hope you gain some useful insights to the things that are so commonly misunderstood. #sexualviolenceawareness #domesticviolenceawareness #sexualassaultawareness #dv #survivor

If you’re hearing this and you haven’t watched ‘trial 1’ then I recommend you watch that first as the difference between the two is vast. In this trial we went out with a very strong case because now my evidence was going to be used which debunked many of the lies that he had narrated for 6 years. My barrister knew the detail of my story and wasn’t willing to let a single lie go. As a survivor - seeing this happen to the man who did this to me - it’s hard how to put it into words how it felt. the fact the jury found him unanimously guilty within around an hour says how irrefutable the evidence was. This is all part of my rape survivor journey and I hope you find this useful.

It was hard documenting a 4 day trial of so much chaos into an hours video/podcast. All this info is available to the general public as it was held in Crown Court. The unique experience I have compared to others is a) I was one of the 3% who actually have made it to court to begin with and b) I did this twice with such wildly different experiences.This really was a very difficult few days. I have done my besgt to capture how it was to experience it but naturally as you can imagine it only scrapes the surface of the smaller detail which ran throughout the trial.This is all part of my rape survivor journey - if you are heading into court yourself then I hope you find this information helpful.Full video available on YouTube: Unsilenced-Survivor's Journey

I got wind that the man who I put behind bars for raping was someone who had worked closely with and done fundraising for multiple child protection agencies. There were multiple agencies either run or founded by 3 separate people.2 responded with a deep level of integrity and I have all the respect for them and the charities they work for. The third implied I was lying and blocked me. This video I detail what happened between us and why I think this is the problem we face in society. This is all part of my rape survivor story - I hope you find this useful. If any of this resonates I can be reached on [email protected]. Enjoy.

I was aged 20 when I told my sister Id been raped - 4 years after the assault took place. It was the first time I’d told anyone the full story.As Ive said many times a family of a survivor are the silent casualties and collateral damage when one has been violated. My sister's reaction is over 20 years old now but I remember it like yesterday. Im documenting this because it's the unspoken part many don't discuss about being a survivor. Having to see the reaction of people you love who are also affected by the sexual assault. This is all part of my rape survivor story - I hope you find it useful. If any of this resonates then feel free to email me on [email protected] #mentalhealthmatters #sexualassaultawareness #breakingsilence #justice #dv

Its so easy to assume the only person affected by being raped is the survivor themselves. That goes without saying but I have sen first hand the impact on the family.Family still feel helpless, angry, hurt and sad too. In this video I discuss the occasion I told my brother and his reaction.This is all part of my rape survivor story - I hope you find this channel useful.Enjoy.#rape #rapesurvivorstory #domesticviolenceawareness #sexualassaultawareness #dv

Many people think that going to the police was a choice. On paper that's technically true - but at that time when I reported my r@pist my options were to live with emotions internally that were killing me - or face the unknown of what reporting him would look like. To me that wasn't a choice as nothing could be worse than living the rest of my life feeling how I felt then. there was so much containment going on I can hardly express in words how it felt to live it. It wasn't an unexpected moment - it had been building for years and years and I simply couldn't take the suppressed silence anymore. This video is not to suggest all survivors should to to the police - it really is a very personal choice and everyone has their own story, experience and react to it in their own way. I wasn't ready for years - but when I was, I didn't feel like there was an alternative. If any of this resonates with you I can be reached on [email protected] . I hope you enjoy the podcast.

People often make the assumption that the hardest part of a justice system process is going on stand or seeing their rapist for the first time. They are also very difficult moments of course - but the parts that were the hardest are often a shock to people. The parts that required the most energy and caused the most overwhelm and stress are often misunderstood.In this video I mention what was the 3 hardest parts in the whole 6 year justice system process. If any of this resonates with you I can be reached on [email protected] Enjoy....