Day 190. An important learning for me that my ex could never fully grasp is the fact that in reality, even when I feel like no one notices me or cares to pay attention to me, people DO notice me and do catalog what they see about me.

Day 187. I take my son into the doctor's to be examined regarding his allergies. I am accepting of the doctor's diagnosis but when I text the details to my ex, her response is less than desirable and brings back old feelings of her undermining my decisions in parenting.

Day 182. Another unnecessary judgmental comment from one of my "friends" has me thinking about the intentions behind those who are always pushing their victim status in society and decide that she (and others) just wants the attention that a middle-class white girl never gets.

Day 172. Recent events such as Roseanne getting cancelled & watching a racist comic being asked to step off of stage gets me to thinking about political correctness and how I should behave in today's overly sensitive climate of micromanagement of all things said and done.

Day 171. I spend the entire day doing yard work and I end up finding that it is more relaxing to me than actually relaxing. Plus, I have the children full time this week as my ex goes on a week-long vacation with her boyfriend, which inspires me to come up with a hypothesis of "what-if" regarding the idea that this could be a secret honeymoon for them.

Day 162. I start the episode with a joke, then I discuss a conversation I had with my "Hot Chick" friend and find that I may end up playing cupid to keep from disappointing her.

Day 161. You would think by now, people would believe you when you straight out say you are not looking to be with anyone else right now but I still seem to have issues with people not believing me and trying to convince me that I do want to be with someone else.

Day 155. I go into the meaning behind my use of the Fisher Price Dog to represent myself in my episode art, which is a story of childhood theft and an unwanted tattoo in the days of college.

Day 149. When I suddenly receive free tickets to a concert, I find myself facing the temptation of being with other women but too afraid of ramifications to act on the new opportunities.

Day 101. Revisiting the idea that my ex is a narcissist, some recent reactions from her seem to continue to validate how much she is willing to give up of others in order to have it her way. The recent incidents I speak of do not lend well to my confidence in her to be a committed mother to our children since she is showing signs of being able to give up loved ones easily for her own selfish needs.