Unstoppable with Paula Swain

How much of your life reflects who you really are, and how much reflects who you've learned you're supposed to be?

Many women spend years trying to keep the peace, make others happy, and meet expectations without realizing how much of themselves they've set aside.

In this episode of Unstoppable with Paula Swain, Alissa Gardenhire explores what happens when we stop questioning the roles we've been taught to play and start asking what we actually want.

A Harvard-trained researcher, writer, and speaker, Alissa shares her perspective on relationships, emotional freedom, communication, and what she calls "true matriarchy." She challenges the idea that women must make themselves smaller to be accepted or constantly manage other people's feelings to maintain healthy relationships.

The conversation becomes personal when Alissa describes how she lost parts of herself during her marriage, and Paula reflects on her own experiences with divorce, confidence, and learning to communicate more assertively.

Together, they explore the difference between being direct and being aggressive, why people-pleasing can quietly undermine relationships, and how difficult it can be to rediscover yourself after years of putting everyone else first.

In this conversation:

• Why women often learn to silence their needs to keep the peace.
• How being called "too direct" or "too much" can affect confidence.
• The difference between assertive communication and aggression.
• What Alissa means by "true matriarchy" and why emotional freedom matters for both women and men.
• How people can lose their identity while trying to be a good spouse or partner.
• Why making everyone else happy isn't your responsibility.
• How helping others too much can prevent them from developing their own independence.
• Why understanding what you want is essential to living more authentically.

One of the most powerful ideas in this conversation is that you don't have to show every part of yourself to everyone, but you deserve to live a life where you aren't constantly hiding who you are.

About Alissa Gardenhire

Alissa Gardenhire is a Harvard-trained researcher, writer, speaker, entrepreneur, and creator of Touch IQ, where she explores touch, boundaries, and human connection. Her current work focuses on what she calls "true matriarchy," identity, emotional freedom, relationships, and helping people develop the confidence to live more fully as themselves.

Connect with Alissa

Website: dralissa.com/ 

Touch HighQ: touchhighq.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dr-alissa-gardenhire 

Is it time to rediscover what you want?

If this conversation has you questioning whether the life you're living still reflects who you are, download Paula's free Is This Really My Life? Reset Guide.

https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

Connect with Paula

Soar From Silence: https://www.soarfromsilence.com

Visit my website: SoarFromSilence.com

Download the Free Reset Your Life: Get the Life Reset Guide: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

Read the Soar from Silence Blog: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/blog

What happens when life changes everything you thought your future would look like? And how do you find joy when the challenges keep coming?

At just 21 years old, Heather Hall was diagnosed with an aggressive form of bone cancer. What followed was more than a year of chemotherapy, surgery, and learning to walk again. Years later, she faced melanoma and then breast cancer. Three cancer diagnoses, each leaving a lasting impact on her life.

In this episode of Unstoppable with Paula Swain, Heather shares the moment she stopped asking why this was happening and began asking herself a different question: "What will you choose today?"

That question became her daily mantra, helping her find gratitude, make intentional choices, and recognize that joy and hardship can exist at the same time.

Heather and Paula have an honest conversation about what it means to live beyond a cancer diagnosis, the emotional and physical realities of survivorship, and why being strong doesn't mean doing everything alone.

In this conversation, you'll hear about:

• How Heather's first cancer diagnosis at 21 changed the direction of her life.
• Why choosing gratitude doesn't mean pretending everything is okay.
• How one small decision can help you move forward when life feels overwhelming.
• The importance of trusting your instincts, asking questions, and advocating for yourself in healthcare.
• Why accepting help can be just as courageous as offering it.
• How cancer continues to affect relationships, finances, identity, and everyday life long after treatment ends.
• The unexpected opportunities that can come from saying yes, even when you're afraid.

Heather's story isn't about finding something positive in every painful experience. It's about recognizing that even when you can't control what happens, you may still have choices about how you move through it.

About Heather Hall

Heather Hall is a three-time cancer survivor, yoga teacher, speaker, and health advocate. Drawing from her personal experiences with cancer, she encourages others to use their voices, advocate for their health, and approach life's challenges through intentional choices.

Heather also offers resources to help people navigate a cancer diagnosis and prepare questions for their healthcare providers.

Connect with Heather Hall

Website: TheHeatherHall.com 

Instagram: instagram.com/TheHeatherHall_ 

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/heatherhallwriterspeaker/

About Unstoppable with Paula Swain

Unstoppable is a podcast about women, their stories, and the experiences that shape who they become. Paula Swain brings honest conversations about resilience, identity, courage, relationships, and finding your way through life's unexpected changes.

Because being unstoppable doesn't mean life never knocks you down. It means discovering what comes next.

Visit my website: SoarFromSilence.com

Download the Free Reset Your Life: Get the Life Reset Guide: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

Read the Soar from Silence Blog: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/blog

Who were you before you became who everyone else needed you to be?

Sarah Shard saw that question play out in an unexpected way through her mother, Pat. After decades of being known primarily as a wife and mother, and then experiencing profound grief after losing her husband, Pat began showing a different side of herself as Alzheimer’s changed her life. Sarah watched her mother become more social, adventurous, and connected to the woman she had once been. It left Sarah wondering whether that woman had been there all along.

🌿 If this conversation has you thinking about what’s next in your own life, download Paula’s free Reset Guide: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

Sarah’s own life was changing too. Losing her father forced her to question the life she was living, including a relationship in which she had lost sight of herself. She and Paula talk about grief that extends beyond death, including grieving the future you thought you were going to have, the fear of making a different choice, and what happens when you finally begin making decisions for yourself. Sarah’s story is an honest look at identity, caregiving, relationships, and the small decisions that can gradually change the direction of a life.

In this conversation:

• The unexpected way Sarah saw her mother rediscover parts of herself while living with Alzheimer’s
• Why ending a relationship can mean grieving the future you thought you were promised
• The question Sarah couldn’t answer after years of putting other people first: “What makes you happy?”

About Sarah Shard

Sarah Shard is an author and creator of The B.A.S.T.A.R.D. Method™. Her experiences with loss, caregiving, relationships, and rebuilding her own life shaped her belief that change does not always require one enormous leap. Sometimes it begins with one decision that puts your life on a different path.

Connect with Sarah

The B.A.S.T.A.R.D. Method™: www.thebastardmethod.com

Free quiz to help identify what may be keeping you stuck: www.thebastardquiz.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/thebastardmethod

TikTok: www.TikTok.com/@thebastardmethod

Connect with Paula

Soar From Silence: https://www.soarfromsilence.com

Free Reset Guide: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

#LifeTransitions #FindingYourself #UnstoppableWithPaulaSwain

Visit my website: SoarFromSilence.com

Download the Free Reset Your Life: Get the Life Reset Guide: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

Read the Soar from Silence Blog: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/blog

Some of the beliefs running your life may not have started with you.

And changing the pattern may begin with asking a surprisingly simple question: Is this actually mine?

In this episode of Unstoppable with Paula Swain, Paula talks with Mindy Jackson about family conditioning, trauma, intuition, self-trust, and the patterns we carry through life.

After heart surgery, a postoperative stroke, vision loss, a painful breakup, the death of her mother, and other major health challenges, Mindy began looking differently at healing and identity. She shares how those experiences shaped the way she thinks about old beliefs, emotional patterns, and the process of learning to trust yourself again.

Paula and Mindy also explore Mindy’s perspective on combining psychotherapy with spiritual and energy-based practices as part of her own work and healing journey.

In This Episode

• How to question whether an old belief is really yours or something you learned
• Why family and environmental patterns can shape the way you respond to life
• Mindy’s perspective on trauma, healing, and the nervous system
• How major life changes can uncover deeper relationship patterns
• What it can look like to become the person who chooses a different pattern
• How intuition and self-trust can grow over time
• Why fear does not have to make every decision

About Mindy Jackson

Mindy Jackson is a psychotherapist, Reiki Master, and spiritual coach who uses an integrative approach in her work.

Her own experiences with medical challenges, grief, relationships, and spiritual growth have shaped the way she thinks about trauma, intuition, healing, and self-trust.

Connect with Mindy

Phone: 404-291-1984

Email: [email protected]

Psychology Today:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1298495

LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindy-jackson-8bab90416

Instagram:
@jacksonmindy

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/share/18GnLh4yQK/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Visit my website: SoarFromSilence.com

Download the Free Reset Your Life: Get the Life Reset Guide: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

Read the Soar from Silence Blog: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/blog

Your life can look nothing like the one you planned and still have meaning, purpose, and dreams left in it.

In this episode of Unstoppable with Paula Swain, Paula talks with Alma Thomas about grief, resilience, faith, and what Alma calls her “bounce back spirit.”

After losing her 18-year-old son, experiencing homelessness, going through a difficult marriage and divorce, and later surviving a massive stroke, Alma faced one life-changing challenge after another.

But she refused to believe her life was over.

Paula and Alma talk about what helped her keep going, how faith and journaling became part of her recovery, and why accepting what she could no longer do did not mean giving up on what was still possible.

Today, Alma continues writing, speaking, and dreaming about how her experiences can help someone else find hope and keep moving forward.

In This Episode

•  How surviving your hardest season can change the way you face what comes next
• Why it is okay to acknowledge grief instead of pretending everything is fine
• How faith and journaling helped Alma work through difficult emotions
• Learning to accept what you cannot change without giving up
• Finding new ways to pursue your dreams after life changes
• Why your circumstances do not have to become your identity
• Turning grief and hardship into purpose

About Alma Thomas

Alma Thomas is an author, inspirational speaker, playwright, and longtime educator who taught Head Start for more than 32 years.

After surviving profound loss and a massive stroke, she continues writing and speaking about faith, grief, resilience, and the power of what she calls her “bounce back spirit.”

Visit my website: SoarFromSilence.com

Download the Free Reset Your Life: Get the Life Reset Guide: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

Read the Soar from Silence Blog: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/blog

Being the woman everyone depends on can feel like a strength. But what happens when you’re carrying things that were never yours to carry?

In this episode of Unstoppable with Paula Swain, Paula talks with Canetha Armour Porter about what Canetha calls being the “Glue Woman”, the woman who helps, fixes, carries, and holds everything together for everyone else.

Canetha spent years being the person others relied on. Eventually, she realized the problem was not simply burnout. She was taking responsibility for other people’s emotions, problems, and outcomes.

Paula and Canetha talk about boundaries, guilt, friendships, motherhood, people pleasing, and what changes when you stop automatically fixing everything for everyone else. They also explore how old patterns can return during new seasons of life and why loving someone does not mean carrying their life for them.

In This Episode

• Why capable women can become overwhelmed by responsibilities that were never theirs to carry
• How to recognize when helping becomes fixing, rescuing, or taking over
• Why setting healthier boundaries can change relationships
• How to recognize old patterns before falling back into them
• Why letting other people solve their own problems can be an act of love
• Why guilt should not make your decisions

About Canetha Armour Porter

Canetha Armour Porter is a coach who works with women and created the Glue Woman concept to give language to the patterns she saw in women who are often the ones holding everything together.

Her Glue Woman assessment helps women identify how those patterns may be showing up in their own lives.

Website: https://amourwomen.com 

Visit my website: SoarFromSilence.com

Download the Free Reset Your Life: Get the Life Reset Guide: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

Read the Soar from Silence Blog: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/blog

What happens when you stop trying to become who everyone else thinks you should be and start listening to yourself?

Amanda Sweet calls herself the Creative Fairy Godmother, but getting to this version of herself was anything but a straight path. Her story includes difficult relationships, jobs that were not right for her, dropping out of college, acting, modeling, thrifting, community building, and plenty of unexpected turns.

In this conversation, Amanda and Paula talk honestly about identity, self-worth, fear, people pleasing, and what can happen when you finally give yourself permission to explore what feels right for you.

Amanda shares how learning to love herself became part of rebuilding her identity after years of losing pieces of herself in unhealthy relationships. She also explains how the seemingly unrelated creative paths she followed eventually came together through ReVamp, a clothing swap festival that combines fashion, sustainability, creativity, and community.

Sometimes the things that look like detours while you are living them make much more sense when you look back.

In This Episode

You'll hear about:

• Why other people's fears can influence the choices we make

• Amanda's journey from self-doubt to learning to trust herself

• Why saying "I love you" to yourself can feel surprisingly difficult

• How creativity helped Amanda rediscover and express her identity

• Why following seemingly unrelated interests can eventually reveal your path

• Learning to use your voice without becoming harsh or confrontational

• Recognizing unhealthy relationships and situations sooner

• How ReVamp grew from a small clothing swap into a community centered around fashion, sustainability, creativity, and connection

About Amanda Sweet

Amanda Sweet describes herself as the Creative Fairy Godmother, a title that reflects the many creative roles she has explored throughout her life.

Her background includes acting, modeling, photography, styling, event production, thrifting, community building, and entrepreneurship. Those experiences eventually came together through ReVamp, where Amanda brings people together through fashion, sustainability, creativity, and community.

Amanda's story is also about learning to trust herself, use her voice, and build a life that looks like her rather than the version other people expected her to become.

Connect With Amanda

Learn more about Amanda Sweet and her work:

ReVamp
https://therevamp.org

Amanda Sweet Live
https://www.amandasweetlive.com

Keep the Conversation Going

If this conversation has you thinking about your own story, your identity, or what you want next, visit Soar From Silence for more conversations and resources for women who are finding their voice and moving forward.

https://www.soarfromsilence.com

Subscribe to Unstoppable with Paula Swain so you don't miss the next conversation.

Until next time, remember, your story isn't over yet.

Visit my website: SoarFromSilence.com

Download the Free Reset Your Life: Get the Life Reset Guide: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/is-this-really-my-life-reset-guide

Read the Soar from Silence Blog: https://www.soarfromsilence.com/blog