Untamed Ember

Ever wondered why detailed negotiation, safe words, and scene structure don’t kill the vibe in kink—they actually make it hotter? For neurodivergent and trauma-impacted folks, clear boundaries and predictable roles can feel like a nervous system exhale. In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty unpacks how structured intimacy (like kink and BDSM) creates real safety, reduces dissociation, and turns clarity into turn-on. We’ll dive into why your brain craves rules in the bedroom, how consent conversations are actually erotic, and why aftercare is non-negotiable for healing.

Craving intimacy that feels genuinely safe? Hit play—and subscribe to Untamed Ember wherever you get your podcasts.

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Ever sat in your car outside an event, heart racing, stomach in knots, every cell in your body screaming don’t go in, but guilt dragged you anyway? In this episode, Dr. Misty dismantles the toxic myth that keeping every commitment equals moral worth. You’ll learn the neuroscience behind why saying no is an act of nervous system protection, how to spot your body’s “quit signals” before burnout hits, and practical strategies for bailing, gracefully, unapologetically, and without drowning in guilt. Perfect for neurodivergent, queer, trauma-impacted, and chronically overcommitted rebels ready to reclaim their energy, boundaries, and agency.

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What happens when your body aches for more touch than your partner, friend, or family can give—or when you crave space while someone else longs to connect? In this radically honest episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty dives deep into the science, shame, grief, and negotiation of “touch hunger” and mismatched touch needs. Discover why touch is a real biological need, how neurodivergence, trauma, fat liberation, and disability justice shape who gets touched (and who doesn’t), and get practical tools, scripts, and rituals for navigating the awkward, brave, and beautiful work of honoring your body’s truth. Whether you’re touch-starved, touched-out, or somewhere in between, this episode is your permission slip to need what you need—without apology. 

Is waiting agony for you? Do you feel anxious when a conversation goes quiet, or does time vanish when you’re hyperfocused? In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty unpacks how ADHD and neurodivergent brains experience time differently—why pauses can feel like punishment, and why mismatched tempos create conflict, shame, and communication breakdowns. You’ll get a science-backed, radically honest look at time perception, plus practical tools and conversation scripts to make your own “time warp” visible and workable in relationships, work, and daily life. Perfect for neurodivergent folks, partners, friends, and anyone ready to ditch urgency culture and honor their real rhythm. Listen, share, and join the Untamed Ember rebellion—because your tempo isn’t a flaw, it’s your superpower.

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Are you haunted by old stories in your sex life—shutdowns, freeze responses, numbness, or shame that shows up right when you most want to be present? In this episode, Dr. Misty takes you deeper than talk therapy, into the places your body holds ancestral scripts about pleasure, safety, and desire—sometimes generations deep. Discover how your fascia acts as the body’s living archive, and learn the basics of SOFT (Somatic-Oriented Fascia Therapy), Misty’s original approach for working with tissue-level memory and nervous system liberation.
You’ll hear stories, get practical ways to notice your “ghosts,” and find out why your pleasure isn’t something you have to earn—it’s your birthright.

Grab your FREE content and weekly shame-smashing resources at untamedember.kit.com — where every part of you belongs.

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Ever notice that right when things get steamy, your brain turns into a Twitter feed of insecurity? Welcome to the world of parts work, sex edition. In this episode, Dr. Misty dives headfirst into Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and how your inner critic, perfectionist, rebel, caretaker, and shame-burdened exiles all love to crash your sex life.

We’re talking about:

Why sexual difficulties are rarely about “technique”—and almost always about internal parts fighting for airtime

How the Performance Manager, Hypervigilant Protector, People-Pleasing Caretaker, and your spicy inner exiles hijack your pleasure

Specific, actionable strategies to check in with your parts, speak for them, and actually integrate their wisdom instead of letting them run wild

Neurodivergent masking, sexual spontaneity, and why you might feel disconnected or stuck in performance mode (again)

Real talk: The parts of you that want connection, the ones that want control, and how to get them working together instead of fighting for the mic

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Podcast + show notes at untamedember.com
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#SexTherapy #InternalFamilySystems #PartsWork #SexualHealing #NeurodivergentSex #ShameFreeSex #QueerSexuality #TraumaInformedSex #UntamedEmber #SexualLiberation

Get weekly, radical resources and bonus episodes free at untamedember.kit.com — Your pleasure deserves better.

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Ever wondered why your brain is a full “hell yes” but your body suddenly ghosts the moment things heat up? Or why your nervous system sabotages even the sexiest situations? In this no-holds-barred episode, Dr. Misty goes full trauma nerd on the vagus nerve—that misunderstood highway running between your brain, your body, and your ability to actually stay present for pleasure.

We’re not talking about generic “just relax” advice or another meditation app download. We’re hacking your actual sexual nervous system with trauma-informed, neurodivergent-friendly, science-backed strategies. Discover:

Why your vagus nerve can’t mind its business during sex (and how it becomes an accidental cockblocker)

How chronic stress, trauma, and neurodivergence set the stage for “nervous system sabotage”

The real reason arousal sometimes flips to anxiety, shutdown, or sensory overwhelm—and what to do about it

Practical, immediately usable hacks for vagus nerve stimulation, breathwork, movement, and sensory support before and during sex

Why the neurodivergent brain needs rituals and “transition time” for pleasure—and how to build them

This episode is for every beautifully complex, neurodivergent, queer, or trauma-impacted human who’s tired of being shamed for their body’s boundaries. Your sexual nervous system isn’t broken—it’s just never been given the tools (or the respect) it deserves. Let’s fix that.

Ever had sex with a partner who was physically present but clearly somewhere else? Welcome to the “What the Fuck Just Happened?” club. This episode is for every partner who’s ever wondered why their neurodivergent, trauma-impacted, or just beautifully complex lover seemed to disappear mid-connection—while their body kept going through the motions.

Dr. Misty (Untamed Ember) breaks down what dissociation really looks like during sex, why it’s not a Yelp review of your skills, and how to create the kind of safety that brings your person back—without pressure, shame, or performance. Learn how to spot the subtle signs, what to do (and NOT do) when it happens, and why real intimacy means honoring nervous system reality, not just consent on paper.

We’re throwing out the toxic scripts about sexual perfection, reclaiming what it means to love someone with trauma, and getting nerdy about co-regulation, nervous system signals, and non-performative presence. 

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Ever felt like your body was sabotaging you during sex, even when your mind and heart were all-in? In this episode, Dr. Misty unpacks the wild world of somatic therapy and why your body’s “weird” responses are actually wisdom in action—not dysfunction. We’ll break down how shame, trauma, and neurodivergence shape our sexual scripts, and why honoring your authentic needs is the most revolutionary act of all.

This episode covers:

The science of why bodies freeze, tense, or check out during intimacy (even with safe partners)

SE, Hakomi, and TRE—somatic tools that let you finally listen to your nervous system (instead of fighting it)

How to create a personalized “sexual map” so you know exactly what your body needs to feel safe and turned on

Radical embodiment, embodied consent, and how to build authentic sexual healing without performance, perfection, or shame

Includes real stories, hands-on practices, and that signature Untamed Ember mix of humor, rebellion, and real talk.

Ever burst into tears during a massage or felt grief bubble up when you’re just trying to sleep? You’re not broken—and you’re definitely not alone. In this episode, Dr. Misty pulls back the curtain on fascia: your body’s secret emotional archivist.

We’ll break down what fascia actually is (think: way sexier than raw chicken), why it hoards every microtrauma and shutdown, and how those mysterious aches, pains, and restless nights are actually your body keeping score. From chronic jaw tension to pelvic floor pain to the sleep-shame spiral, you’ll learn why your “tight hips” are holding old grief, why your jaw’s clenching on unsaid truths, and why stretching just isn’t enough.

Most importantly, we’ll explore erotic rest—not just as self-care, but as an act of radical rebellion and embodied pleasure for trauma-impacted, neurodivergent, and queer bodies. Get practical tools for fascial release (no, not torture with foam rollers), and learn why tenderness—not performance—is your body’s true path to safety, pleasure, and finally, real rest.

Listen in for:

The real deal on fascia as emotional memory

How trauma and shame live in connective tissue

The “fascia-sleep-shame loop” (and how to break it)

Science-backed, anti-perfectionist tools for reclaiming rest and pleasure

Why erotic rest is a liberation movement, not a wellness trend