S1 Ep1: "TUTP"

This episode is about a little background story of myself and the reason and passion behind "Unwavering Thoughts".

This is an extension of my poem podcast into an emergence of my thoughts and the thoughts of my amazing guests.

With conversations and stories to inspire and motivate you, this is where you as an individual can unlearn to relearn from our stories and experiences. We don't know it all but we can get through it together. Which i believe will serve an impact on our personal lives and also lessons you can implement in your daily lives.

Enjoy!

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Just thinking out loud.

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Poison Ivy - written by Ellen Everett

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I’d wait,

For in the midst of sadness, pain and hurt

I’d wait

Even when my flesh is weak, my heart is weary and I feel I don’t know where to go

I’ll wait on you

You’ve proven yourself times and times again

No matter how long it takes

I will wait

I will wait to hear your voice

I will wait to have that sweet fellowship with you the one everyone talks about

Only that this sweet fellowship would be unique in my case

I will wait for your hands to heal me

To mend my broken heart

To fix my doubting mind

For your kind

I will wait, with all my soul, with all my heart and with everything I have

While I wait on you

I will worship you with my crooked voice

I will sing out loud and honor your name

I will dress in sac clothes and bathe myself with ash

I will forfeit the pleasure of my flesh

I will kneel and face my hands towards heaven

While I wait

My hurting hands, my weary feet, heart filled with thoughts and in the sun or rain

I will wait

Yahweh, you’ve been faithful, kind and true

What benefit would it be for me to gain the world and lose that sweet fellowship with you or not be filled with your spirit or not have a lasting wonderful relationship with you

Whatever it takes lord

I’m willingly waiting on you.

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I spend an unreasonable amount of time thinking about you and your imperfections, and the many ways I am unable to, and may never be able to truly belong to you.

Because I know that regardless of the hours we have put into fixing the parts of you that can be fixed, and concealing the rest of it, the worst of you are not truly gone.

I spend so much of my time thinking about why you are better off without me. But I always fall short of walking away from you, and the many years that brought us to where we are today.

And it is not because I cannot find happiness outside of you, but because I cannot stand the thought of you with someone who had nothing to do with the woman that you have become.

Somewhere Between Becoming and Being.

Onyishi Uchenna.

@onyishiuche

Me

I’ve learnt to accept what is and whAt isn’t

I’ve felt pain and sadness deeply like a sea with no end

With depth yet so shallow

I’ve felt so many things I can’t phantom

I’ve felt love, happiness and also felt the the opposite of these things

I feel like a paper kite guided by the wind but with no direction

I just settled with no digression

Not much thought

I mean if it makes me happy, I shut that part of me that says “you know you deserve better right?”

I’ve learnt to accept that I have a lot going on in my mind than what’s in the physical

A few might understand

But I’ve learnt to accept me more than I’ve learned to accept people I had to withstand.

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Anxiety

Like the tree, I’m vibrant and green

Moving from side to side with no care in the world,

During the day I absorb the energy the sun brings and the drizzles of refreshing rain

At night the gentle breeze make me dance even if I don’t want to but I have to cause she whispers sweet nothing to me

“Some parts of me are dying” I say to myself, but I make sure to overlook, my branches either getting old or too weak to catch up,

A side of my self I neglect and force my stem and roots to focus on the moment

At night when the wind isn’t here to play, loneliness consumes me and I’m forced to feel the branches I’ve neglected

“Can I save it?” I think to myself again

By morning these parts of myself wither away, it’s too late

Just like that a part of me is gone, that part of me used to dance side by side enjoying the sweet nothings from the wind

Now that part of myself, detached laid on the earth bare,

Scorched by the sun, stepped on by people passing by and back to earth I’m absorbed like I was nothing.

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You

You are the very light that shines when I’m In a dark tunnel

Festering, knowing when I need you

You’re like the the wine I hold dear so sweat yet intoxicating

You’re like the nectar from my flower, sweet and promising

You’re like the the crescent moon, edges sharp, slope so smooth

You are me and I want to be a lot more like you

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Devout

Let not your heartache, misery or woes chew you down,

Don’t be so consumed by the shadows and silhouette of loss,

That you forget how truly amazing you are.

Yes, your heart may throb,

Yes, you may be so weary of the chaos,

The unrest, the unease,

The shock waves that make it difficult to breathe…

But Dear One,

Life sometimes only raises you up

Once you are brought down, so poetically to your knees.

Let your strength define you,

Your failures embolden you,

And your tough times stretch you,

So that you may undoubtedly see,

Just how powerful your soul is sculpted,

Whether you turn inwardly, or look farther out,

Your spirit is unbreakable,

And to your heart, eternally devout

ONE MOMENT:

One moment for the one who loves yet bruised

One moment “can you wait a little longer?”

One moment I had it all figured out and the next I felt shut out

From my own mind

I haven’t being sailing smoothly

Exhaustion is far from what I feel

Love is harder to give but I give it anyway

One moment is a long ass time

And that moment is me.

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To the women who genuinely cheer for you, who show up for you, who bring you out your comfort and who genuinely love you.

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