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“Us vs Them” Has Taken Over American Politics
Politics has started to feel like a loyalty test, not a conversation. Say one thing that is not perfectly on script for your “side” and people act like you have betrayed the whole team. The problem is not that we disagree. The problem is that we have built a culture where curiosity looks weak, changing your mind feels dangerous, and being loud gets rewarded.
A lot of the nastiness is being fuelled by the “our side versus their side” mindset. Headlines get treated like weapons. People post for points, not understanding. Social media makes it easy to react to a clip, assume the worst, and decide you already know what kind of person someone is. In real life, when you are face to face, it is harder to hate someone you actually know.
Labels do not help either. “Liberal.” “Conservative.” “Christian.” “Atheist.” They can help you find community, but they can also trap you there. Once you pick a label, you are expected to perform it perfectly. And if you leave room for nuance, you risk being shamed, bullied, or written off. That is how we end up with more certainty and less thinking.
So where do we go from here? Smaller than people want. It starts with the next comment you almost leave, the next assumption you almost make, the next time you feel that rush of righteousness. Pause. Ask a question instead of throwing a punch. And if you can, get to know someone in real life who thinks differently from you, not to convert them, just to remember what it feels like to talk to a person instead of a stereotype.
CHAPTER MARKERS:
00:00 Welcome + “Where Do We Go From Here?” in American Politics
00:48 The Rage Economy: Why Politics Feels Mean and Exhausting
01:33 Changing Your Mind: Why Admitting You’re Wrong Feels Risky
02:18 “Our Side Has to Win”: The Us vs Them Mindset
03:28 Trump Voters, Regret, and the Two-Choices Reality
04:56 The Exhausted Middle: Extremes on Both Sides and Political Fatigue
05:05 Social Media Algorithms: Why Outrage Gets Rewarded
08:04 Comment Sections vs Real Life
10:16 Belonging and Identity
15:33 Media Trust + Isaac Saul (Tangle) and the Cost of Being Fair
17:38 Staying Curious When It’s Uncomfortable
19:00 Accountability: Me Too, Complicity, and Protecting the Tribe
24:16 Menopause for President
26:16 The Enemies Project: Seeing Each Other’s Humanity Again
31:59 Wrap Up + Subscribe and Share
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Eric Swallwell video: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXKWBRbFH76/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Good for the Soul:
The Enemies Project https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXKWBRbFH76/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
LINKS:
On Instagram https://www.instagram.com/wevegottotalk/
On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WeveGotToTalk
On Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/weve-got-to-talk/id1797423701
On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0qJVgTvjciUffRmoUienx2
Our Website: https://www.wevegottotalk.com/
How to find Nicole https://nicolefonarow.com/
How to find Jolene https://dibledough.com/
View all episodes
By Nicole Fonarow and Jolene ConwayPolitics has started to feel like a loyalty test, not a conversation. Say one thing that is not perfectly on script for your “side” and people act like you have betrayed the whole team. The problem is not that we disagree. The problem is that we have built a culture where curiosity looks weak, changing your mind feels dangerous, and being loud gets rewarded.
A lot of the nastiness is being fuelled by the “our side versus their side” mindset. Headlines get treated like weapons. People post for points, not understanding. Social media makes it easy to react to a clip, assume the worst, and decide you already know what kind of person someone is. In real life, when you are face to face, it is harder to hate someone you actually know.
Labels do not help either. “Liberal.” “Conservative.” “Christian.” “Atheist.” They can help you find community, but they can also trap you there. Once you pick a label, you are expected to perform it perfectly. And if you leave room for nuance, you risk being shamed, bullied, or written off. That is how we end up with more certainty and less thinking.
So where do we go from here? Smaller than people want. It starts with the next comment you almost leave, the next assumption you almost make, the next time you feel that rush of righteousness. Pause. Ask a question instead of throwing a punch. And if you can, get to know someone in real life who thinks differently from you, not to convert them, just to remember what it feels like to talk to a person instead of a stereotype.
CHAPTER MARKERS:
00:00 Welcome + “Where Do We Go From Here?” in American Politics
00:48 The Rage Economy: Why Politics Feels Mean and Exhausting
01:33 Changing Your Mind: Why Admitting You’re Wrong Feels Risky
02:18 “Our Side Has to Win”: The Us vs Them Mindset
03:28 Trump Voters, Regret, and the Two-Choices Reality
04:56 The Exhausted Middle: Extremes on Both Sides and Political Fatigue
05:05 Social Media Algorithms: Why Outrage Gets Rewarded
08:04 Comment Sections vs Real Life
10:16 Belonging and Identity
15:33 Media Trust + Isaac Saul (Tangle) and the Cost of Being Fair
17:38 Staying Curious When It’s Uncomfortable
19:00 Accountability: Me Too, Complicity, and Protecting the Tribe
24:16 Menopause for President
26:16 The Enemies Project: Seeing Each Other’s Humanity Again
31:59 Wrap Up + Subscribe and Share
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Eric Swallwell video: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXKWBRbFH76/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Good for the Soul:
The Enemies Project https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXKWBRbFH76/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
LINKS:
On Instagram https://www.instagram.com/wevegottotalk/
On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WeveGotToTalk
On Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/weve-got-to-talk/id1797423701
On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0qJVgTvjciUffRmoUienx2
Our Website: https://www.wevegottotalk.com/
How to find Nicole https://nicolefonarow.com/
How to find Jolene https://dibledough.com/