For many years, I have attracted many African men (good, bad, high and low quality). Although I loved the African culture, I couldn't understand why every time I engaged in a simple conversation with an African man, it led to him wanting to date me. Some of these men were married and pastors, and I don't date these types of men. I was able to unlock even the toughest guys for some reason to the point of them sharing the most sacred details of their lives. However, I was puzzled as to why I feel like a magnet. After much thought and talking to a few close friends and family I found out it was because of my mouth.
Whenever I spoke about what I knew regarding the man's homeland, I immediately sparked an interest in the guy and once I found this out I watched how I approached African men. African men are not use to American people understanding their culture, tradition, and ways and are shocked when they meet someone that knows the details of their region.
A lot of African people face stereotypical problems with Americans (ignorance, bad jokes, misunderstandings) from what my friends told me and this is sad. So by me knowing these things I stand out and you can too. At this point, I am not dating African men or using my attraction magnet because I have goals I am working on. I have dated many but never slept with each man I dated. I dated the most African guys as a virgin and stayed that way until I met my 1st son's father who is Senegalese. I attracted and dated to see compatibility and whether the guy really has an interest in me and is not trying to use me for sex or papers or both. I needed to know his heart and followed my gut and the signs that he gave me through his actions and words.

Here are some of my tips below for if you are out in public and want to meet some guys.

#1 attraction magnet is knowledge!
When I met an African man, I first ask which country in Africa he is from. Here's an example: "Are you from West Africa? If so, are you from 9ja, Ghana or Togo? 90% tell me they are from 9ja. Once I say this I have the man's attention. They then say "how do you know this about Africa"? If they say 9ja then I ask what part of 9ja "Lagos, Anambra state, River state, or where"? At this point, the guy is really intrigued as to how I know this and we then continue to engage in a cool convo about his region and if he is in the USA to stay or what. He then either asks for my number and or other details about my life. Knowledge is power!

Learning more and more about the different parts of Africa can open cool doors for you to attract African men and even meet some loyal friends. I encourage you to visit some African churches like MFM and others. Now your choice of churches depends on what type of African men you are attracted to. Do you love South African men? West African men? North African men? East African men? Do a Google search according to your preference. Whenever I went to church, I always was friendly and made good connections and was invited to a slew of celebrations and traditional get-togethers. I love it! When you do go to these places, blend in by wearing the African attire of the country and have a good time. Remember, although you will attract all of these men you don't have to date them if you don't want to. There is nothing wrong with good conversation only.

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BEWARE OF SOME FRIENDS & FAMILY: BE CAREFUL WHO YOU TELL YOUR BUSINESS TO!

Welcome to today's blog post. I hope that the information helps you in the area of friendships and family relationships. It has really been on my heart to discuss this.

Down throughout the year, I have found myself having to burn bridges for a variety of reasons. Although it was sad to do, in a way I found it necessary. Disconnecting from a person doesn't necessarily mean that they are a bad person sometimes things happen that bring about that cut. I thank my lucky stars that I didn't tell all of my serious business to them because they would've used it as a weapon once they saw that the friendship came to an end. I am apart of a lot of relationship groups and I can't understand why people are in a major rush to tell family and friends serious things like their STD status, marital issues, and sexual problems. Many in these groups rush and tell people only to get burned in the end by the same people using what they said as a weapon. Please discern people before you tell your life to. Please listen to me carefully.

Here are some reasons, to keep your business private:

1. Some folks are secretly haters: In my younger days, I had a best friend I would talk with about everything but I noticed that she would laugh along with my enemies when they would insult me than apologize later. Anything positive I would do she would try to get in on it and speak negatively about it. I have run into more people like this when I got older. These people feel great when something bad or negative happens to you and they put you in a certain category in their mind which is beneath them. As long as they are shining they are happy but once you get on an equal level or greater, that becomes an issue. I hear it often, how people notice folks are acting shady around them once they break out of poverty, get into a great relationship or achieve an accomplishment that no one in their family did.

2. Some folks like to sabotage positive growth, success for fear it will change you
I remember reading a question from a lady who was talking about how she decided to stop bad-mouthing others and using profanity and her friend told her that she feels like the relationship is not the same since she made that change. She doesn't feel that connection anymore with her. The friend didn't want to lose that relationship because she shared so much with the friend from childhood so she reverted back to her old ways to keep the connection. Listen, folks, growth hurts people who are wrong for your life.

3. Some people are just trifling snakes.
I have run into so many trifling people and it is sad. These people want to seem like a friend and get all in your business all to turn around and tell others and stab you in the bad.



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WWYD? PT:1 In these Relationship Situations (African men & American women couples)
Source:
https://www.spreaker.com/user/howtodateanafricanman/wwyd-pt-1-in-these-relationship-situatio
Today, I will be discussing some difficult relationship situations that commonly happen with some American ladies and African men & vice versus. I want to know what would you do in these situations and I will give you my take on the matter.
... I am not implying that I am perfect and those of you that have watched my videos know my story.... this is not judging these individuals but offering insight as it is imperative that these situations be discussed so that we all can learn from them. Similar cases are happening all over the world and hopefully, this episode can help someone not make these same mistakes and choices.
1. Couple: Debora and Able
Debora (age 30) is from Fresno, California, and Able (age 32) is from Guinea but has lived in California for a year now. Debora works as an accountant and Able works with a friend he told her doing electrical work. They met 6 months ago through a mutual friend at a party. Within 2 months of meeting, Able moved into Debora's house. He did all kinds of lovely things for Debora such as cooking for her and being so kind and affectionate. Debora believed that she found the right guy and fell in love and didn't bother to do any type of background check or ask any prodding questions. She helped him from the ground up in doing a lot of things to help him adjust to Cali. They soon get married and she finds out that he needs his green card which was new to her and she found a lawyer to help her sponsor Able. In the preparation meeting with the immigration lawyer, Debora discovers that Able is not his real name and his age is not what he told her. He was using someone else's identity all this time to work and to do other stuff. Mohammad is his real name and he is really 40 years old. She wonders how did she miss this info. He sits there and tries to explain why but she isn't hearing it. She then tells him that it is over and she wants nothing to do with him anymore. Debora tells the lawyer to dismiss the filing and they leave. Able is really pissed off because he won't be getting his papers. Once home he curses her out as if she did something wrong, he gets his stuff and leaves and goes to a friend's house. Debora feels used and hurt and confused. Where did she go wrong?
My take: The bottom line is Debora failed to vet her man and ask prodding questions as to who he really is and his motives. I was in a similar situation but not to the point I had sex with the guy or moved him in. I asked prodding questions in a joking way once on our date and he told me enough to know that he wasn't for me. By doing your investigation earlier, it will save you some heartache and pain.
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Afaafa and John
John (age 38) is from Atlanta, Ga and Afaafa (age 36) is from Kenya and has lived in ATL for 2 years. John saw Afaafa in the store and approached her and they both hit it off really good. Afaafa works as a cleaner and John works as a server under his friend who is the owner. Afaafa told John upfront about her situation John understood and stated he would stand by her no matter what. Afaafa and John got married within the year and things were very loving but later took a downward turn. Afaafa soon found John to be very controlling and emotionally abusive after asking him to file for her papers. He did but it came at a price. He constantly insults her culture, accent and the way she does things. She constantly called a friend of hers to give her advice and her friend advised her to leave the relationship. Afaafa stated that it is not about the papers although she needs them, she is still in love with John. She, therefore, ignored the advice and decides to hang in there. Day in and day out John was more and more emotionally abusive and this time physically. He called Afaafa all kinds of names and accused her of a variety of things that she never did. Afaafa's friend once again told her to leave and Afaafa told them that she is on the verge of getting her green card and that she can't ruin this chance. 10 months after the initial filing, Afaafa gets a letter in the mail that an initial interview has been scheduled in October and she is relieved. Months pass and she is one week away from the interview. She finally decides to shares the news with John while they were in the car and upon hearing this, he took out his keys and stabbed her up so bad that she lands in the hospital for a couple of days and is unable to go to the upcoming interview. John is also arrested for assault and bodily harm. Afaafa is hurt and saddened about the whole relationship thing. What happened here? ........ DATINGAFRICANMEN.BLOGSPOT.COM FOR MORE OF THE STORY

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Today, I will be talking about dating and relationships with African men that are of the Islamic faith. Don't worry, this is not a bashing writeup but one that can shed some insight. Those of you that have watched a majority of my videos know the history of my relationships with Muslim Senegalese men so I won't talk too much about it here. There are a lot of ladies out here that are on the fence in terms of getting with an African man that is of the Islamic faith, and I am not telling you to do it or not to do it but listen to my story and consider the questions near the end.


When I got into a relationship with my boyfriend my now ex-husband I was not really walking in the faith as I should. I didn't pray or go to church as often and did some things that were considered a sin. My man also confessed to not being really on target as a proper Muslim and told me that it is ok for a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman. He stated he had no problem with my beliefs. Christians told me that according to the bible 2 Corn 6:14 stated: "be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers". Eventually, I took his side and we got married. However, things later took a turn.

Around the age of 26, I decided to get more serious about living right as a Christian. I started praying more and attending church 2x a week and also doing midnight prayers and dry fasting to see the hand of God. As my husband saw this, he became very unhappy and although I did my wifely duties, he was still unhappy with how I was increasing my faith in God at the time. When I would be in the closet praying at midnight or playing a YouTube prayer video he demanded it to stopped or off. Sometimes, he would come to the prayer closet just to disturb and stop me from praying and do something that he wanted. My obedience to my faith at the time caused serious tension in my home. My husband at the time began stepping up his faith by going to the mosque more and other stuff.

When we first met he said he will be a man to only one wife but all of a sudden he began throwing it out there on how according to his faith he can have more than one wife as long as he can take care of them. Now, around this time, I started going to Deeper Life Christian church in Brooklyn and I started having worse marital issues because when I would get ready to go to church my husband would take my car and I called on the pastor for prayers about this. Also being apart of Deeper Life required me to dress down without makeup, jewelry or wigs and weaves and he didn't like that. But I believed at the time that God was calling me to do all of this stuff, but I later found out I was deceived in many ways following this. Later on, I joined a prayer boot camp group and saw some ladies in there that were complaining that their unbelieving husbands told them to stop praying and they had to drop out of the program.

So I feel in this situation, we both grew in our religions and it took us in different directions that caused conflicts but this doesn't have to happen this way to you. Here are some things to talk about with your man and consider. I remember a story of a confused Christian man who married a Muslim woman than divorced her because he felt the spirit told him that he was unequally yoked and then he married her again because he said that the spirit told him again that divorce was forbidden. I felt bad that this dude was really deceived. Once married, he should've just cultivated the relationship but to each his own.

1. Questions for you to consider?
Are you on the fence in your beliefs or are you strict but compromising a little? What if you get a revelation? Would you abandon your current relationship to follow the spirit? Where would you draw the line faith wise? Ex: deal breakers? Would you be ok with a man that deeply loves you and cares for you but uses native rituals along with his faith?

2. Questions to think...

BLACK AMERICAN MEN VS. AFRICAN MEN. WHY I LOVE DATING AFRICAN MEN.




Many friends, family, and peers have often asked me why do I date African men? I didn't know the answer at the time, but after much thought, I have the answer.

Read my write-up very carefully. I am not putting down my black American brothers, in fact, I have dated a few in my lifetime.

However, my initial
preference is African men but I have no problem dating races like Caucasian, Asian and Spanish and black as long as they have a good heart and no drama. In this post, I list the reasons why I love dating African men.




The approach is da truth
As I started attending African churches from a young age, African men began approaching me. I noticed their approach was very different from black American men. Almost all of the African men have addressed me very respectfully and it blew my mind. Many black men who try to talk to me come off very sexual and disrespectful. I had several men talk about sex within the first few conversations with me and I called them out on it and cut them loose. The African men I have dated always were encouraging, very educated and calm.


So sweet and kind
The African men I have dated were so sweet and kind. Some were very thoughtful and just was there for me in a variety of ways. The two black men that I have dated were also nice in their own way but not really thoughtful. African brothas have that swag smoke and it is sooo addicting.


Appearance
The African men that I was in a relationship with knew how to dress and smell good. They took pride in their appearance and looked their best. This is something that I didn't see in the two black men that I dated. It was my fault for choosing them to date. Now, there are black men and African men that don't take pride in how they look but I haven't seen many African men that don't and this is my experience.


Cultural
I absolutely enjoy exploring the culture of the guy I am dating. It is so intriguing and brings something new to talk about with him. I love when an African man can cook and show me different dishes that are so delicious. This also makes dating an African guy addicting. I also love to learn about the different dances and history and these men know their stuff. I already know a lot about the American culture so it's nothing to really talk about with a black American man unless we are chatting about boring politics.


Overview. Now these are my reasons for dating an African man and I say, a man is a man no matter the race or culture. There are some quality black men out there just like there are African men and there are horrible African men out there just like there are black American men. I have even had some issues down throughout the years in my dating & relationship experience with a few African men, so I am not trying to say that they are 100% better than black American men because that would be biased.

Now, ladies understand this. When you are dating a handsome African man that approached you well, is sweet and kind and looks great...you still gotta do the work. What do I mean? Peel back the "oh he's so cute, sweet and loving and looks awesome" and get to the core of the man. Who is this man? What is his motive for approaching me? Is he looking for genuine love or another sister to play games with?

If you get hooked on the swag smoke, you can end up with a dangerous or narcissistic man who looks fabulous on the outside but has so many issues on the inside. You will find yourself ignoring red flags and settling just because he looks and smells good. Open your eyes with books from G.L Lambert, Bruce Bryans and Sherry Argov and of course me once my book comes out. Be safe and have fun!!





how to date an african man


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AVOID DATING THESE 5 TYPES OF AFRICAN MEN!

Ladies, I am writing this article from my heart because I want you to be safe and aware.



1. Over controlling/Jealous/hates your support system

My 1st son's father was very controlling and jealous and to be honest ladies, I thought that meant he loved me more and wanted to keep me closer to him. Well, that was further from the truth, this man was trying to get me from everyone that loved me to destroy and mistreat me. My mother even came down from NYC while I was still in Atlanta to warn me to get out of that dangerous relationship. I told my mom that I was in love and that he loves me and promised to take care of me. Well, ladies, I like a fool gave this man my income tax check and he spent it and still blamed me for his bills and such. It was insane. I finally left after this wolf tried to hit me one day. That was the day I left and never looked back. Any guy that is telling you to leave those who are supporting you with good advice and other essential things is no good and is looking to isolate and mistreat you. I have not only gone through this but have seen others go through this down throughout the years. BE AWARE. African men that are very jealous are not good to date. You will not be able to go out in peace without him wanting to know your every move. Jealousy doesn't mean love at all, it's a sign that your man is emotionally immature.

2. Too attached to his family
It is a good sign when a man respects his family and has a healthy relationship with them, but some men are too attached to their family members and that can get in the way of the relationship. I remember hearing a man complain to a relationship group that I am in ...that he can't go a day without calling his family and telling them everything, and his concerns is that his current girlfriend wants time alone with him on their upcoming vacation and she doesn't want him on the phone all the time with his family during those moments. Alot of people in the group told him to please spend time with his lady and tell his family that he will get back to them once the vacation is over.

3. Very cheap/looking for a maid

Ladies, some African men just don't want to put in the effort or time to date or cultivate a healthy relationship. I remember dating this guy who was mad cheap. Complaining about the prices of food and how he didn't want to spend etc. He showed me how much he valued me by how he dated me. I didn't entertain it any further as I understood that if he is cheap now then down the road it will still be the same.
Avoid dating African men that want to use you for maid duties. You aren't a maid but a queen. You shouldn't be picking up behind no man whether you are his girlfriend or not. Please get this book called "Why men love bitches" by Sherry Argov. Now this book isn't encouraging you to have nasty arrogant behavior, it is showing you how to win love with common sense. Some men may say "show me you are wife material by doing household duties". Say "no sir". I am in several relationship groups and women are complaining that they are doing XYZ and the guy is either acting up, cheating on them or taking them for granted. Don't be a fool for love.


Lack of ambition/lazy/set in his ways

Sis, please avoid men who don't have any future plans to improve their lives. Those African men are damn boring and don't care to make their lives greater. They are lazy and can also get jealous if they see you making moves in your life. Date men who are trying to build a legacy and enjoy becoming better versions of themselves.
Now moving on to the second part. A guy that is set in his ways is not good to have a relationship with. When you enter a relationship, you both are supposed to grow together and life is all about evolving into the best version of yourself and enjoying it to the fullest. If you are only...

10 TIPS FOR AFRICAN MEN SEEKING AN AMERICAN WOMAN

This information is for quality men of African descent that are seeking to really love American woman.


1. Get educated
Many men that I have spoken to are not educated on how to handle a lady. If you are serious about finding an American queen to love you should be buying books and looking at relationship videos on YouTube from guy coaches such as Coach Corey Wayne and others. My favorite author G.L.Lambert also has a book that is out called "She ain't it". It is important to educate yourself on the mind of a woman and your approach.

2. Alpha vs Beta males
An African Alpha male shows a lot of confidence in his words and actions. Beta African men are the opposite. Are you an Alpha or not? They look women in the eyes and speak. They recognize their values and skills. They give off warrior vibes. Alpha African males help others and have a good heart.
You don't have to be rude, disrespectful or mean to become an alpha. Alphas can connect with women in using emotions and getting on the woman's level. Many people think you have to be all tough and crazy, that is not true. It all starts with believing in yourself.
Look up info about this.

3. Appearance on fleek
I have run into some African men that don't care too much or are too busy to cultivate their appearance. Your presentation is the first thing that a woman sees. Make sure you are looking good and smelling good.

4. Be a gentleman
Some African dudes have too much ego and refuse to open the door to a place when they see a woman coming up behind them. Be kind and practice being considerate. This can create a chance for you to talk to that lady later on depending on the environment.

5. Desperation
Women can sense if you are desperate by the questions and the vibes you give off. This chases ladies away. Also, asking the same questions over and over in hopes of winning a lady will turn her off. Low self-esteem comes into play when a man has been rejected over and over and has come to a place where he feels undatable and many times reaches for the first lady that winks at him or is nice. Watch and research videos on YouTube on how to approach a woman. Develop your own swag.

6. Too much Ego
Anytime a man tells me this and that about him and how he's the greatest, I automatically think that he is controlling. Avoid praising yourself too much because it is a turn-off.

7. Serious vs not serious...make a move
Women like men that take charge and make plans, I know I do. If you see that an American woman has taken interest in you avoid texting all the time and pick up the phone and ask her out on a date. A lot of men miss out because they are into playing games instead of taking action on a quality lady.

8. Show some effort!
Some men like to half-ass things. I have dated some men that didn't want to take me out to a cool restaurant or show any kind of effort. I blocked them. Your effort shows how much you value her (flowers, dates, and time). A man that is into a quality woman will want to show her that she should date him. I found that some men are concerned about spending money on the wrong woman and refuse to show any effort... so this is why I go back to researching dating videos from men coaches.

9. Be honest
No American woman likes a liar. Be a man that is upfront and honest and truthful. Avoid exaggerating about stuff, it is a turn-off and women will know. Please take heed.

10. Annoying sexual advances/marriage too soon
Some men give off vibes that they want sex soon and that is a turn-off to women. Please avoid sending any dick pics or asking about the lady's sexual history too soon.

6 PERSONAL QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR AFRICAN MAN | SERIOUS INFORMATION TO GLEAN

Down throughout the years, I have dated a lot of different types of African men that prefer to conceal certain types of information for a variety of reasons.

Today, I will discuss the top 6 questions that you need to sit down, look your man in the eye and ask him. The purpose of this article is to encourage you ladies to make sure you are not being played and make sure you are in a secure trustworthy relationship with your African man.

These are questions that only your man can answer and a background check can't really detect sometimes. Don't fall too in love that you avoid asking these questions for fear of finding out something. Would you rather be deceived or informed?

419/Yahoo Boys/scammers and men with ill intentions will not like this video or any other content on this channel or my blog. Ladies, avoid heartbreak by asking questions and getting the truth upfront.


1. His real age
Only 2 out of the many African men that I have run across were honest and disclosed their real age. You need to ask your man how old he really is. Some African men that are in the UK, USA or Canada have had some kind of change to their age on the birth certificate or papers in order to get into the country. Whatever age the birth certificate says his USA ID will say. Ask him upfront to tell you. If he is honest with you then that is good, but if he is not, I encourage you to leave that alone. I met my 1st son's father at age 19 and he showed me an ID that said he was 28 but later he disclosed that he was really 40. My ex-husband also did the same thing and deceived me. Ask upfront.


2. Wife and Kids
Ask your African man if he is really married back home or has kids. A lot of African men may be in the USA, Canada or the UK but they are working towards a goal. The goal could be to find an American woman and marry her and become a citizen down the road, then bring over the wife and kids. Discern and listen to him very closely. Honestly, I hate to go extreme by telling you to get a lie detector test but you may have to if your gut is telling you he is lying. I have run across some really smooth-talking liars. Please be aware.

3. Green Card/Papers
Some African men shy down regarding talking about their immigration status in general. It is up to you to be upfront and not be scared to ask your man if he is here on a student visa, work visa or what? Your love goal should be not to be deceived in any way. See past the swag smoke into the real intentions of any African guy that you decide to date. Your heart is serious business and you should stop seeing any man that is lying to you about his status.

4. Source of Income
There are some African men that are addicted to scamming & defrauding others and it is really important that you verify what kind of job he does. You don't want the FEDs to knock on your door one day or you be accused of being an accessory to a crime you have never done. Have you ever seen him at his job? Does he have proof that he really works there? Is he working under the table? If so, why? These are questions you need to ask.
A person told me about how this lady fell in love with an African man and gave him control over her business. Well, the guy began to scam the government by filing bad tax returns and she had no clue about it. Soon the feds were knocking on her door and she went to jail and he did as well. Be wise ladies.

5. Family Members
I have noticed that a lot of African people, in general, like to call someone that they have known for decades their cousin, sister, brother and so on. If your African guy introduces you to a person and says "this is my brother", "cousin" or "sister" or "aunt" you should later ask if that is his blood-related relative. It is important to distinguish the blood relatives...

IS MY AFRICAN MAN PLAYIN' ME? 7 SIGNS HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU!

1. No actions smooth talker
Your African man will tell you that he will pick you up to do XYZ and ya'll will go here and there but in his heart, he will not do it. When the time approaches for him to live up to his word he will make excuses on why he couldn't do XYZ. He will fill your head with hope and anticipation about things he knows he won't do. Be aware and on guard. A man that is really into you will fulfill his word with actions.


2. He's a damn liar/Social media
You start finding out that some of the things your African man is telling you ain't true. So for instance, he may say...I was never married before, but one day you run into someone that knows him and they mention something about knowing he was married or you run across some information about him. This is why background checks are crucial before getting your heart tied up into him. Now, this is depending on the playa some playa's don't add women to their social media accounts. Concerning the social media... he tells you that he was at work but he posts a story and it shows him at the bar.


3. He doesn't go out with you
Playas are very wary about being seen out in public with a woman because he doesn't want to risk another lady seeing him with that person. Playas always offer to dine by food delivery to the house.


4. You will not be meeting his friends and family
But It really depends on the playa.
Here are several reasons for this.
A) He will be open to meeting your folks but you won't be meeting his anytime soon for the most part. His folks know that he plays games and he doesn't want to risk losing a chance to play you by being exposed. Now I with a playa that did introduce me to two of his friends but they were playa's also.
B) He doesn't want his family to see multiple women each week because that will make him look bad.

5. No consistency
One week he may call you and the other week he is playing the disappearing act. You wonder what is going on and why is he acting like this. Well, during the time he disappeared on you he was playing other women.

6. No future plans
If a man is into you, you will not have to guess on if he will take proper actions to make you exclusive. However, if you are dealing with a playa...he will avoid talking about making future plans with you. Some ladies find themselves asking "where is this going"? At this point, he can either ghost you after using you for sex and other stuff or stick around and keep playin the game.


7. Your Gut tells you something ain't right
Your intuition is constantly telling you that something is up and you have an uneasiness. 99% of the time your gut could be right. Listen to it don't shake this feeling off even though you can't pinpoint exactly what the issue is! Join FBK relationship groups and asks questions.

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