Use Your Outside Voice Unschool

“A lot of the work of homeschooling, unschooling, is our work on ourselves. And the fact that we are all survivors of that system, and so have been deeply socialized to believe, ‘No. If you bring your kid home, you are totally going to fail them. There’s no way you can ever do this—this is how your kid is going to be totally marred and not get the best they could out of this life. Don’t you love your kid and want them to get the best?’ Even if you know that, intellectually, that is not true, the way that can trigger a trauma response, and trigger feelings, is still really deep. I think all of us, at this moment—particularly as the governor is like, ‘Peoples’ mental health has just gone out the window if they can’t be in the school’—all of us need to go back to what our grace is that we can offer ourselves that we made it out of that system with a different critique of it, and that we are trying to raise people that have a different understanding of that system. And be really patient with ourselves and the people around us who are freaking out because they pulled their kid and what the hell. ‘What’s gonna happen now?!’ That’s a thing.” -Carter

Listener friends: if you’d like to give support, it would be really helpful if you leave a review on iTunes—and it need not be well-formed thoughts following the reflective, solo, quiet cup of coffee that seems to never be coming—it helps our podcast get found. Thank you!

Episode recorded October 3, 2021

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas

We unschool with backgrounds in dance, music, writing, and much appreciation for the arts. But, we are not using unschooling to create fertile conditions for the next concert pianist, and we resist conditions where kids are set up now for intense, external standards for (eventual) arts achievement. We chat about intrinsic enjoyment of arts, lifelong arts engagement, valuing process over performance, and fiercely protecting children’s (and parents’) deep self-expression.

Episode recorded August 11, 2021

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas

Unschooling siblings spend a lot of time together; a normalized experience for the unschoolers themselves, and a real contrast of experience for the unschooling parents witnessing. We talk about it!

Episode recorded July 25, 2021

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas

As COVID-19 “Education Recovery” plans and and panic rise, we discuss the unsaid aspects of recovery and what beneficial changes we have observed through the pandemic.

Episode recorded June 13, 2021

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas

COVID's over, back to normal--?!? Erg, not so much. Our conversation winds its way through what feels ridiculous to ignore at this time. Being mothers during pandemic with kids still not old enough for vaccination, evaluating narratives through lenses that have always resisted school, looking at what-is, showing up in the world as whole as possible. 

Episode recorded May 14, 2021

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas

“I think the biggest takeaway for me right now, as there’s all this conversation about homeschooling and how are things going, is for me it’s a better example this past year than I’ve ever had of the ways in which unschooling is absolutely, at its core, life learning. And there’s so much that we are all learning, whether its how to manage trauma, and all these things…The many ways which all of this will manifest will not be stuff that we can necessarily know for years, and this is a better example of that to me, perhaps because it is so intense and there’s so much learning all the time, every day, much of which we will not be able to articulate or cogently put in a nice little box for many years.” -Carter

Email: Outsidevoicepodcast[at]gmail[dot]com

Episode recorded March 9, 2021

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas

A listener asks, “How do you find people like you? How did you find each other?” and we recall meeting each other by coincidence, and children’s clarity in recognizing their people. We discuss unpeeling layers of school-centric frameworks of “friendship,” being fairly unattached to finding friends based on unschooling status, and well-meaning but thwarted attempts to construct relationships through coops/playgroups. We bring voice to existence of “the quiet years,” honesty about living the shift from a more external focus to centering family and home, and the fact that our kids are pretty clear about what is working for them or not.

Episode recorded February 18, 2021

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas

Many times, it seems we feel a very simple thing is not enough, or we’re temporarily diverted into just checking boxes. Books are an awesome part of unschooling. But even with the books, it’s really about relationships. We decided to record a partner episode to the last one, where we aim to share how books (unapologetically in all their forms—digital, print, audio, etc) are appreciated anchors in our unschooling.

“It never ceases to amaze me how much the kids remember characters like they were friends; it’s like someone they know. And so they share this relationship [among siblings & family]. Every so often, they recall, ‘oh, this is like when such-and-such happened to this person.’ And everyone can relate to this, because it’s a shared relationship. Without even leaving the house. Over the years, I’m like, that’s why I’m not trying to claim books have a hallowed place in our world or society, but it seems something that’s so accessible that we tend to overlook because we have all these other things. But the power that lies within those pages gets forgotten and lost. We shouldn’t forget.” —Lara

Episode recorded January 30, 2021

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas

Christmas musings and unschoolers & books. And, of course, a discussion about racism.

Episode recorded December 20, 2020

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas

Questions from a listener ask about the day-to-day rhythm and actual details of our unschooling experiences. A year into recording this podcast, we agree it’s central that the people who are actually doing the work that matters—wiping bums and noses—speak up about living day-to-day with children outside of schooling. We sit down to try to answer these good questions. As usual we have much to say but wonder how to find an answer for the underlying question, “How do you live your life?”

Episode recorded November 28, 2020

Producer: Brian Lane-Karnas