Valley Life Church - Yakima

Being a balm instead of salt to a friend’s wound

Nov 17, 2024 – Austyn Hutton

Singing light songs to the heavyhearted is like pouring salt in their wounds.
Proverbs 25:20 MSG

Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing.
Proverbs 27:14 ESV

Healthy friendships seek to connect, understand and approach the needs of each other. 

Choosing Connection Over Offense

11/10/24

Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. — Proverbs 17:9 (NIV)

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. — Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)

Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you— for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others. — Ecclesiastes 7:21–22 (NIV)

There’s a difference between an offense and a heartbreak: 
An offense is having your feelings hurt; 
a heartbreak is having your soul crushed.

Healthy friendships promote love by covering offenses and then choosing to let them go.

9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. — Proverbs 17:9 (NIV)

11 A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. — Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)

21 Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you— 22 for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others. — Ecclesiastes 7:21–22 (NIV)

…[love] keeps no record of wrongs. — 1 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV)

Healthy friendships promote love by covering offenses and then choosing to let them go.

Pastor Jon Verwey

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. — Proverbs 27:5-6 (NIV)

Rebuking or wounding our friends is to challenge their sin, critique their attitudes, correct their inappropriate behavior, and point out their foolishness.

…an enemy multiplies kisses. — Proverbs 27:5-6 (NIV)

You cannot separate fools from their foolishness, even though you grind them like grain with mortar and pestle. — Proverbs 27:22 (NLT)

If you grind a stupid person in a mortar… his stupidity will not depart from him.

Correction and critique from our friends are better than compliments and kisses from our enemies.

1 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. — Matthew 7:1 (NLT)

1 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. — Matthew 7:1-2 (NLT)

3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? — Matthew 7:2-5 (NLT)

5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. — Matthew 7:5 (NLT)

Correction and critique from our friends are better than compliments and kisses from our enemies.

Pastor Jon Verwey

Healthy, growing friendships move us IN toward each other to motivate us to move UP toward Jesus and OUT toward the lost.

…since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus… — Hebrews 10:19 (NIV)

…let us draw near to God… — vs 22

…let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess… — vs 23

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds… — Hebrews 10:24 (NIV)

Healthy, growing friendships move us IN toward each other to motivate us to move UP toward Jesus…

20 When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” — Luke 5:20 (NIV)

…“I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” 25 Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. 26 Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.” — Luke 5:25–26 (NIV)

Healthy, growing friendships move us IN toward each other to motivate us to move UP toward Jesus…

…[his son] was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. — Luke 15:32 (NIV)

…“Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” — Luke 19:9–10 (NIV)

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a retch like me.
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was blind but now I see

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…

— Hebrews 10:24 (NIV)

Healthy, growing friendships move us IN toward each other to motivate us to move UP toward Jesus and OUT toward the lost.

Growing Deep Friendships through a Jesus-Connected Life

10/20/24

With a few strokes Frodo brought the boat back to the bank, and Sam was able to scramble out, wet as a water-rat. Frodo took off the Ring and stepped ashore again. ‘Of all the confounded nuisances you are the worst, Sam!’ he said. 

‘Oh, Mr. Frodo, that’s hard!’ said Sam shivering. ‘That’s hard, trying to go without me and all. If I hadn’t a guessed right, where would you be now?’ 

‘Safely on my way.’ 

‘Safely!’ said Sam. ‘All alone and without me to help you? I couldn’t have a borne it, it’d have been the death of me.’ 

‘It would be the death of you to come with me, Sam,’ said Frodo, ‘and I could not have borne that.’ 

‘Not as certain as being left behind,’ said Sam.

‘But I am going to Mordor.’ 

‘I know that well enough, Mr. Frodo. Of course you are. And I’m coming with you.’ 

‘Now, Sam,’ said Frodo, ‘don’t hinder me! The others will be coming back at any minute. If they catch me here, I shall have to argue and explain, and I shall never have the heart or the chance to get off. But I must go at once. It’s the only way.’ 

‘Of course it is,’ answered Sam. ‘But not alone. I’m coming too, or neither of us isn’t going. I’ll knock holes in all the boats first.’ 

Frodo actually laughed. A sudden warmth and gladness touched his heart. ‘Leave one!’ he said. ‘We’ll need it. But you can’t come like this without your gear or food or anything.’ 

‘Just hold on a moment, and I’ll get my stuff!’ cried Sam eagerly. ‘It’s all ready. I thought we should be off today.’ 

He rushed to the camping place, fished out his pack… a spare blanket, and some extra packages of food, and ran back.

‘So all my plan is spoilt!’ said Frodo. ‘It is no good trying to escape you. But I’m glad, Sam. I cannot tell you how glad. Come along! It is plain that we were meant to go together.

19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. — 1 John 4:19-21 (NIV)

19 We love because he first loved us. — vs19

20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. — vs 20

21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. — vs 21

24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. — Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)

How well do I pursue my friends? 

Do I initiate calls or texts to stay in contact?

Do I make time for them by planning ways to hang out?

How present am I when I am with them?

When I am with my friends do they get all of my attention?

Am I trying to know them and letting myself be known by them?

Jesus is our source of love and example of friendship.

Do I regularly respond to His open invitation to be with Him?

Do I regularly invite Him to be with me?

Am I allowing His love to shape me?

Do I regularly thank Him for pursuing me?

Pastor Jon Verwey

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” — Genesis 2:18 (NIV) 

The Bible has a great deal to say about the longings of the human heart. …there is much about love, friendship and fellowship. It is very striking, however, that almost never are these longings and their satisfaction placed in the context of a sexual relationship. — Christopher Ash, Marriage: Sex in the Service of God.

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. — Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (NIV) 

[Friendship] is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others. They are no greater than the beauties of a thousand other men; by Friendship God opens our eyes to them. They are, like all beauties, derived from Him, and then, in a good Friendship, increased by Him through the Friendship itself, so that it is His instrument for creating as well as for revealing. — C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. …17 This is my command: Love each other. — John 15:12–15, 17 (NIV) 

12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. — John 15:12 (NIV)

13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. — vs 13

14 You are my friends if you do what I command. — vs 14

15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. — vs 15

17 This is my command: Love each other. — vs 17

10/06/2024

Finding the place of politics within the Kingdom of God.

09/29/24

15 Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. 16 They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. 17 Tell us then, what is your opinion?… — Matthew 22:15–17a (NIV)

17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?” — vs 17

18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? 19 Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius… — vs 18-19

20 and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?” 21 “Caesar’s,” they replied. — vs 20-21a

Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” — vs 21b

27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. — Genesis 1:27 (NIV) 

22 When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away. — Matthew 22:22 (NIV)

9 “This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. — Matthew 6:9–10 (NIV) 

Learning Humility from the most vulnerable.

Pastor Jon Verwey

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” — Matthew 18:1 (NIV)

2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. — vs 2

3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. — vs 3-4

If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed. — C. S. Lewis: Mere Christianity

Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less. — Rick Warren: Purpose Driven Life

I surrender my name to You. I give you my reputation and identity as a man, a Christian, a husband, a father, a grandfather, a friend, a pastor, a leader, a _________________

5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. — vs 5

13 Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. 14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” — Matthew 19:13–14 (NIV)

Put the verse and the text starting with “Parents” and ending with “Heavenly Father” on the same slide.

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. — John 14:6 (NIV)
Parents, you are committing to raise your child in the way of Jesus, teaching them His truth, so that they may respond to Him, receive the life He came to give, and be led into the presence of our Heavenly Father.

Extended family and the church, you committing to pray for and support these parents as they raise their child, encouraging them and helping to nurture this child in the ways of the Lord.

Serving, Leading, and Influencing Like Jesus

09/15/24

17 Now Jesus was going up to Jerusalem. On the way, he took the Twelve aside and said to them, 18 “We are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death 19 and will hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified. On the third day he will be raised to life!” — Matthew 20:17–19 (NIV)

20 Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him. — vs. 20

21 “What is it you want?” he asked. 
She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.”  — vs. 21

22 “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?” “We can,” they answered. 23 Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.” — vs. 22-23

24 When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. — Matthew 20:24 (NIV)

25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you… — vs. 25-26a

…Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave… — vs. 26b-27

“…that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” ~Abraham Lincoln

28 …just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. — vs. 28

6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! — Philippians 2:6–8 (NIV)