Lara and Carey break down episode two of The Valley, where Jax and Doute meet at the Smoke House in Burbank to duke it out over Doute's dicey life choices and Jax's treatment of Luke. Jesse and Michelle continue to head towards martial demise, Nia explains how she once Taekwondo'd a Trump cronie, and Janet prepares for her fast approaching Baby Era. Then Jax assembles a Boys Night where he continues to alienate Luke, Luke confronts Jesse over T*tty Twist Gate and Kristen's ex makes a surprise cameo. The Girls + Platinum Gay Zack head to Michelle's where Brittany has it out with Doute and tries to encourage everyone else to get Wharf Drunk with her.
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Valley of the Dolls Ep. 2 - Prepare To Rot! (The Valley S1E2)

A podcast for geniuses, hosted by Lara Marie Schoenhals and Carey O'Donnell.
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Carey and Lara discuss Cardi B's cringeworthy red carpet blunder at the Met Ball, Kim K's need to squeeze, Guinness Book of World Records gay roots, and more. Back in the San Fernando Valley, the group remains adamantly anti-Doute (and Luke). Jax and Brittany's shaky peace after their disastrous DATE NIGHT ends abruptly at Janet's outdoor hibachi GAME NIGHT, where Britt's sake-borne GERD divides them once more. Doute resurrects her James Mae t-shirt line for yet another confusing re-launch party, as Jesse heads off for a plant medicine retreat in hopes of saving his and Michelle's fledgling marriage.
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Valley of the Dolls Ep. 8 - What James Mae Come (The Valley S1E8)

Lara and Carey discuss RFK Jr's brain worm admission, an evangelical pastor's sinister sermon twist, a perfectly preserved dinosaur fetus in a fossil egg, the biblical urge to think the world is only 6,000 years old, and the gay urge to visit the giant fake Noah's Ark in Kentucky. On the season 11 finale of VPR, the crew continues their love affair with foggy SF, and head to brunch minus Sandoval and plus Ariana's boyfriend Dan. Lala gives Dan the third degree and Schwartz activates Ariana's inner place of Zuul when he defends Sandy. Scheana decides to have her cake and eat it too when it comes to her friendships with Ariana and Tom, and Jo arrives to degrade herself in the name of Schwartz one last time. Then they head to Kyle Chan's whiskey launch on Treasure Island, where Scheana performs her new song with The 27s, Jo confronts Katie, and Sandoval tries (in vain) to apologize to Ariana on camera, setting in motion a dramatic climax with the future of series hanging in the balance. Plus, a teaser for the upcoming true crime podcast, Once Upon a Time in Nashville.
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Pumpheads Ep. 47 - A Place of Zuul (Vanderpump Rules S11E15)

Lara and Carey discuss not knowing who's who anymore at the Met Gala, Bella Hadid's Safe-esque health scares and soft-launching a vaguely Euro accent, Kendrick Lamar and Drake's wild weekend of diss tracks and pedo allegations, celebrity beefs coming back in vogue, Faye Dunaway being in the zeitgeist, the highs and lows of Tom Brady's Netflix Roast, the time Lara pranked Carey on video, Ariana's new "Chicago" gig, and more. Plus, Reader Mail featuring an inspiring recovery tale and one Readers journey into the heart of darkness (going to the opening of Lisa Vanderpump's new restaurant in Lake Tahoe).
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PATREON TEASER: The Feminine Urge to Hold a Press Conference

Lara and Carey discuss Sexsomnia: a rare sleep disorder turning afflicted people into unconscious sex pests, and a thirty-something woman who got busted for living as a 13-year-old girl for almost a year. Back over the hill, the crew, still at the Mondrian dinner, has whiplash from their brawl with Doute and Luke. Michelle announces the alleged rumor Kristen has been "protecting," and not everyone is buying it. Jesse and Michelle make a shaky amends, and Nia and Danny continue to deal with her baby blues. Brittany deals with a cornea scratch, just in time to go to a tantric sex coach with Jax. Then, an overnight Cauchi DATE NIGHT turns sour when Jax reveals to Britt his second thoughts about having a second child...
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Valley of the Dolls Ep. 7 - Where There's A Will, There's A Mondrian (The Valley S1E7)

Carey and Lara talk Drew Barrymore's cringe-fest interview with Vice President Kamala Harris, Richard Simmons's beef with Barbra Streisand over her Ozempic comment on Melissa McCarthy's Instagram, and the Renaissance Fair beer wench dom topping her way to internet fame. On the PENULTIMATE episode of Vanderpump Rules Season 11, Scheana and Tom team up for a musical act at Kyle Chan's brand launch blowout in San Fran, and bury their hatchet once and for all. Lala celebrates her 33rd birthday, Schwartz continues to terrorize Jo, and Ariana's long distance boyfriend finally makes his TV debut. Then the cast heads up north, where they take a harrowing booze cruise around the San Francisco Bay and inexplicably dress up in 1920s garb for dinner; Tom Schwartz begins to unravel, losing out on his bargain with the sea...
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Valley of the Dolls Ep. 2 - Prepare To Rot! (The Valley S1E2)

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