How can we accurately judge The Witness to be the best ever made when it's so good that it causes all other games throughout history to cease to exist, destroying all basis for comparison? Also, reasons why we haven't started The Witness yet.

Episode Timeline

00:00 - Intro01:50 - Weekly holographic squid concert discussion08:50 - The Witness34:40 - Grow Home39:00 - Three Fourths Home42:10 - Pokemon Picross50:30 - Civilization V62:40 - Strike Suit Zero68:00 - Outro

The pastel-hued island fills you with a sense of familiarity and security. Turning to greet your old friend, Yoshi, you realize the figure before you is not the cuddly dinosaur of your youth. You freeze in horror as the fleshy mass burbles: "It's-a me."

Episode Timeline

00:00 - Intro00:55 - Snowzilla08:40 - Yoshi's Wooly World25:23 - Who's Your Daddy41:52 - A Dark Room47:20 - Photopia59:20 - Groove Coaster and arcades64:55 - Outro

We asked the top robotic minds at Google what the best games of 2015 were. When it turned out AIs don't have opinions, we deferred to our slightly less robotic stable of podcast hosts. Also, D.J. is pretty sure he's not poisoned.

Episode Timeline

00:00 - Intro00:45 - D.J. vs. The Bacon of Seafood14:20 - Best games of 201561:30 - Outro

It’s been a weird week. DJ remains in exile in Japan. We’re sad about David Bowie. We’re still having fun with Just Cause 3 and Mass Effect 3. We’re fighting the allure of shiny new games while trying to find time for good old ones. So many feels.

Episode Timeline

00:00 - Intro01:15 - D.J. still in Japan update!03:12 - Bowie...30:40 - Just Cause 3 update!41:25 - Mass Effect 3 update!48:50 - Life in the Slow Lane61:30 - Outro

Instead of assigning traditional review scores, we’re now rating games on their lunchtime equivalency: Just Cause 3 is a tasty soup/sandwich combo from Chili’s while Her Story and Undertale are worthy of the endless pasta bowl from Olive Garden.

Episode Timeline

00:00 - Intro01:15 - Where's D.J.?02:35 - On Top Ten Lists08:15 - Her Story22:20 - Undertale32:00 - Just Cause 351:00 - Great Game Characters and Mass Effect61:05 - Outro

It's another mini episode! Let's talk movies.

It's our Christmas Special! Lots of snow, lots of games? Memories n stuff, yeah.

We celebrate five years of podcasts by answering your questions about PlayStations, questionable roommates, dance hazards, literal game mechanics, regret, and Iron Man. Plus Randy makes the greatest sacrifice of all. But first... (bottle opening noises)

Episode Timeline

00:00 - THE FIRST PART64:00 - THE SECOND PART

Put on some headphones and join us as we listen to our favorite game music of 2015, including Splatoon, Metal Gear Solid 5, The Witcher 3, Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, Bloodborne, Steamworld Heist, and Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward.

Episode Timeline

00:00 - Intro01:25 - Best Game Music of 201560:05 - Street Fighter II giveaway64:00 - Outro

D.J. has more to say about Soma. Paul plays the wrong Fallout, but maybe he can mod it into the right one. Randy admits to using one of those virtual girl apps. But most importantly: How's that new Assassin's Creed?Episode Timeline

00:00 - Intro01:25 - Black Friday post-barricade chat11:50 - Assassin's Creed Syndicate32:15 - Lifeline44:00 - Soma55:00 - Fallout: New Vegas71:40 - Outro