Video High

This never happens to us. But we went on a little tangent during our last episode with comedian Neil Rubenstein (@neilrubenstein) and accidentally talked about A-Movies and mainstream properties, like Star Wars, Game of Thrones, and American racism.

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Lorenzo Lamas is Boston's finest BOUNTY TRACKER (1993), and his Los Angeles vacation is about to be cut short by the grisly murders of his brother and pretty much everyone else in the movie. Matthias Hues leads a team of untraceable leather-clad assassins that enter and exit every room guns blazing, silencing anyone connected to the money laundering schemes of a jailed millionaire. Will our Bounty Tracker be able to stop doing karate and community outreach long enough to stop this mass murderer? We tracked down stand-up comedian Neil Rubenstein (@neilrubenstein) to help us reach these kids.

Neil's Comedy Special GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/HaveSomeDignity

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In the nearish future Paco Queruak is a cyborg with second thoughts about his mission to assassinate an environmental crusader. After going on the run from his handlers, Paco wanders into an entirely different movie...an arm wrestling competition flick! HANDS OF STEEL (1986) is chock full of surprises. It has toilet paper based pranks. It has phallic computer renderings. It even has a helicopter chase that puts the "death" in "death-defying". You have no future, except to listen to this week's episode!

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When you're whatever this gang is called, you're what that word is all the way. In KNIGHTS OF THE CITY (1986), Leon Isaac Kennedy leads a street gang of chain-swinging, switch-blading, tight leather shirt-wearing, bad b-boys with dreams of musical stardom taking them beyond their rough streets. The big music competition is their last shot to prove something to themselves and everyone else - except the record label head, who threw the contest specifically to see and sign them. But will rival gangs, a romance with the execs daughter, and the existential angst of being a gang that now focuses on music instead of violence break them? Or will it Breakin' 2 them?

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Somewhere in the jungles of Southeast Asia, a drug kingpin has kidnapped another drug kingpin, foiling the DEA's plans and demanding his daughter bring him a key to a safety deposit box. Now it's up to golden throat gargantuan Reb Brown to shoot everyone and get whoever's left on the LAST FLIGHT TO HELL (1990). While we love Italian schlock jungle shoot-em-ups as much as the next school, this one rebbed some of us the wrong way. Today's episode brought to you by Long John Silvers, and their new Buttered "Lobster" Bites.

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This Valentine's Day, give your Auntie THE KISS (1988)!

After the death of her mother, Amy's strangely estranged aunt comes to live with her and her oblivious father. Don't let Aunt Felice's supermodel body or free vitamin shakes fool you! She's only out for one thing: her niece's body...in a non-sexual demon possessing way, of course.

But best of all, THE KISS has the climax to end all movie climaxes. So THE KISS, will you be ours? XOXO

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It’s January-Michael Vincent, so out of respect, today’s lesson plan will debate the ethics of death by ALIENATOR (1990): a Fred Olen Ray riff on two classic 80s franchises that, combined, make for something much more. A cast of B-movie vets, scenic Griffith Park shooting locales, and a cyborg female body builder with a gun arm make for essential Video High watching.

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Video High once again puts its ear to the door of the future to listen to what cinema is coyly whispering about the year 2023. We see it all: what has passed,  what's to come, and what may yet shall be. The only thing we don't see is texts from each other to make sure we don't all cover the same movie. But our resolution this year is to try to be attentive, B-E attentive. The class discusses movies set in the year 2023, such as BRING IT ON: CHEER OR DIE (2022) and [redacted] and etc etc.

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We pulled a gift from the video store shelves, because this Christmas we're unwrapping ELVES (1989)!

When a young woman summons a killer elf from the grass;

Given three ideas and a week for the script;

Plus the class has questions about elf folklore;

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Even if the title makes it a little obvious, it's still possible to get lost in L.A. BOUNTY (1989). Written and produced by star Sybil Danning, she cast herself as Ruger: a monosyllabic ex-cop turned bounty hunter following the trail of a kidnapped mayoral candidate.  But let's face it, we're all here for the main attraction - Wings Hauser! - who delivers a trademark enigmatic villain performance that has the class asking themselves whether Heath Ledger deserves his posthumous Oscar. Was that a good one, God?

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