189: Vienna Pharaon - Can you break family patterns and liberate the way you live and love?

Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City’s most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy.

She received her master of science in marriage and family therapy from Northwestern University and trained extensively at The Family Institute, Bette D. Harris Family & Child Clinic. Pharaon has been featured in The Economist, Vice, and Motherly and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, among others. She currently lives in Upstate New York with her husband and son. 

THE ORIGINS OF YOU is her first book, and it zeroes in on our Families of Origin, the early caregivers who provided the first lessons on everything from love and conflict to safety, communication, and trust. There’s no guarantee that the education our Family of Origin (FOO) provides us will be healing or even functional; to be sure, families frequently miss the mark in significant ways, creating wounds, beliefs, or behaviors that are reflected in the life choices or relationships we choose as adults. Vienna traces a direct line from present-day behaviors that limit us back to the family systems in which we were raised. But she doesn't stop there. She also:

Unlocks a healing process to help us fully understand the family dynamics and dysfunctions that created what she calls “origin wounds.”  We all have some version of these wounds; some are difficult to identify, and others can be hard to manage.

Identifies the five most common wounds that derail us in subtle and not-so-subtle ways—wounds that, if left untended, can leave us questioning our worthiness; yearning to belong; longing to feel prioritized by others; unable to trust; or lacking safety. But our origin stories truly can be the road map to healing, once we’re willing to really look.

Illuminates the practical work needed to heal them and leave behind the limiting beliefs and behaviors that don’t serve us through personal and client stories, tested frameworks for difficult conversations, and invaluable guided introspection.

Teaches us vital techniques like how to pivot—that critical moment when we replace unconscious programming with a new pattern of behavior to better serve our needs—and to respond with understanding instead of with hyperreactivity, turning conflict into connection. 

Check out her website: https://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com

Buy her book here: https://amzn.to/41hDmq1

Follow her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft

Check out her workshop with Connor in June: https://www.viennaandconnor.com/leading-in-love

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