Vilomah - The loss of a child

When someone you love can’t get past their grief, you may feel helpless, confused, and frustrated. Witnessing someone you love experience unsuccessful grief can be deeply troubling. You may feel confused about why they are stuck in their loss and unsure about how to support them when the normal rules of grief don’t seem to apply. But their grief does not need to be permanent and by developing a better understanding of this phenomenon you can learn how to help someone with complicated bereavement.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh gives tips and advice on how one can support a friend or family member who is dealing with unsuccessful grief.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

Grief reactions after the death of a child are similar to those after other losses. But, they are often more intense and last longer. Most people experiencing normal grief and bereavement have a period of sorrow, numbness, and even guilt and anger. Gradually these feelings ease, and it's possible to accept loss and move forward.

For some people, feelings of loss are debilitating and don't improve even after time passes. This is known as unsuccessful grief. In unsuccessful grief, painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble recovering from the loss and resuming your own life.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh talks about unsuccessful grief and provides advice on how to navigate through the three stages of grief.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

With the first anniversary of your child's death on the horizon, it may be helpful for you to keep in mind that your grief may return with intensity. There are no hard and fast rules regarding grieving, and not everyone will experience intense grief at the anniversary of the death of a loved one.

Being prepared for the anniversary, and being open to the feelings the event brings, can be a healing opportunity for both you and your family. In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh provides some suggestions for how to approach the first year anniversary experience

Jeanne also shares her own story and the strategies she uses to remember her daughter and celebrate her life, and not only focus on her passing.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

Christmas is a particularly difficult time for parents dealing with the loss of a child. While grief never fully goes away, there will be times when emotions are much more heightened than others, and when the sense of loss can feel greater. Christmas – the season which celebrates love and family time – is most certainly one of these occasions and as the festivities kick in, so too may your feelings of sadness and dread.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh shares her own story of having to cope with the festive season after the loss of her own daughter and provides advice on how to navigate the festive season as a grieving parent.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

There are two distinct time periods after a loss that can help you understand the grieving process. The first is immediately following the death when extended family, friends, and community gather.

It is the time period when you are dealing with funerals and memorial services and there is lots of activity. The second is "after the casseroles are done," which describes the time when all of the food that was given to the family by neighbors and friends is gone. Everyone else gets back to life as they know it and the grieving family begins to face life without the one they lost.

In this episode of Vilomah Jeanne van den Bergh shares information on dealing with grief during the first year and how to find a balance between your grief and continuing life without your child.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

After a child dies, those who are left behind may experience depression, biological and neurological changes, and a destabilization of the family and marriage. The best thing that friends and loved ones of bereaved parents can do is be present, available, and supportive.

In this episode of Vilomah Jeanne van den Bergh shares information on how the loss of a child affects the relationships parents have with friends, family, and colleagues and how the child’s death affects these people. The episode offers guidance and advice on how friends and family members can support a parent who has lost their child.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

For parents who have lost a child, it makes no sense for life to end at such a young age—particularly when the death is sudden and without warning. The loss cuts so deep, it can be suffocating. Parents who lose a child often must also contend with surviving siblings. Figuring out how to parent after losing a child is a unique challenge.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh shares information on the mourning process parents and siblings go through when the family loses a child and offers advice on how to move forward.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

No parent is prepared for a child's death. Parents are simply not supposed to outlive their children. It is important to remember that how long your child lived does not determine the size of your loss. The loss of a child is profound at every age.

You may find that you also grieve for the hopes and dreams you had for your child, the potential that will never be realized, and the experiences you will never share. If you lost your only child, you may also feel that you have lost your identity as a parent and perhaps the possibility of grandchildren. The pain of these losses will always be a part of you. Yet with time, most parents find a way forward and begin to experience happiness and meaning in life once again.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh shares information on the mourning process parents go through when they lose a child and offers advice on how to move forward.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.