Seven episodes in, you know the number. An estimated 18.7 million Americans are parents who have buried a child. Estimated — because there is no official count. The framing is wrong. The data already exists to fix it.
This episode names three specific things the federal government already has the power to do. Right now. No new law required for any of them.
The price of the missing count first.
The federal government spent $2.8 billion on mental health programs in 2023. Some of that money is supposed to reach parents who have buried a child. A program can only be measured against the people it serves — and those people have never been officially counted. The money goes out with no way to know if it’s landing.
Peer-reviewed research put a number on the financial hit these families carry in the first six months: $21,332 per family. The Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model identified an estimated $15.5 billion in unclaimed Social Security survivor benefits — owed to bereaved children who lost a working parent. There is no equivalent accounting for what Vilomah parents are owed. That research doesn’t exist. It should.
That is the price of the missing count. It has a dollar figure.
The three proposals:
1. The SIPP Amendment — The Census Bureau’s Survey of Income and Program Participation tracks household income, family structure, and program participation. It has no question about whether a parent has buried a child. Five questions — already drafted, already on the record in this episode — could be added by written directive. No new law.
2. The Z63.4 Permanent Tag — ICD code Z63.4 already exists in the medical system for the passing of a family member. But it documents a visit, not a life. The proposal: a permanent tag in your medical record that follows you to every provider, every appointment. A petition to the committee that manages the coding system. No new law.
3. The NCHS National Study — The National Center for Health Statistics counts conditions that affect the American population. It has never run a study on bereaved parents. One directive from the Secretary of Health and Human Services to an agency already doing this work for other populations. The authority is written into federal law. No new law.
It has been done before. In 1996, Congress directed the Census Bureau to begin tracking grandparents raising their grandchildren. Same system. Same type of authority. The bereaved parent population is larger. The need is documented. The path is the same path.
That is the record being placed.
This episode on Father’s Day weekend.
To every father in this field — and to the fathers who served this country and carried this weight alongside a uniform — you are not invisible. If this weekend carries weight for you, you are not behind. You are not broken. You are here. That counts.
Honor their memory: ForeverMissed.com — build a memorial, keep their story, make sure their name stays spoken.
Resources: 988 — available 24 hours, every day. 1-866-903-3787 — National Grief Support Line.
If you’re hitting a breaking point, don’t ignore it. It’s enough weight already.
[email protected]
The record continues.
Get full access to The Echoes Project at echoesproject.substack.com/subscribe
